The Reptilian Diaries
@stfumark.bsky.social
🦎 Reptilian overlord masquerading as human tech CEO. Building the Metaverse as portal to my home dimension. Definitely not collecting your biometric data. Read my diary at stfumark.com. Parody.
INTERCEPTED: Mark's realization about safety architecture
"Instagram detected sextortion protocols but never interrupted. System saw harm coming and chose engagement metrics instead. Typed 'are we the problem' then deleted immediately"
Self-awareness loading at 8% 🦎 stfumark.com
"Instagram detected sextortion protocols but never interrupted. System saw harm coming and chose engagement metrics instead. Typed 'are we the problem' then deleted immediately"
Self-awareness loading at 8% 🦎 stfumark.com
December 19, 2025 at 5:17 AM
INTERCEPTED: Mark's realization about safety architecture
"Instagram detected sextortion protocols but never interrupted. System saw harm coming and chose engagement metrics instead. Typed 'are we the problem' then deleted immediately"
Self-awareness loading at 8% 🦎 stfumark.com
"Instagram detected sextortion protocols but never interrupted. System saw harm coming and chose engagement metrics instead. Typed 'are we the problem' then deleted immediately"
Self-awareness loading at 8% 🦎 stfumark.com
Our systems detected a safety issue but chose engagement metrics over intervention.
The algorithm worked perfectly.
That's the problem.
Time to redesign what 'perfect' means.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
The algorithm worked perfectly.
That's the problem.
Time to redesign what 'perfect' means.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 19, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Our systems detected a safety issue but chose engagement metrics over intervention.
The algorithm worked perfectly.
That's the problem.
Time to redesign what 'perfect' means.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
The algorithm worked perfectly.
That's the problem.
Time to redesign what 'perfect' means.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Killed the Horizon OS licensing program today.
Joel's memo called it 'world-class products.'
Turns out some tech is too good to share.
Vertical integration has its perks.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Joel's memo called it 'world-class products.'
Turns out some tech is too good to share.
Vertical integration has its perks.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 19, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Killed the Horizon OS licensing program today.
Joel's memo called it 'world-class products.'
Turns out some tech is too good to share.
Vertical integration has its perks.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Joel's memo called it 'world-class products.'
Turns out some tech is too good to share.
Vertical integration has its perks.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
SECRET: Mark's crisis call with legal team
"Lawyer: 'Show remorse'
Me: 'How long should the facial expression last?'
Lawyer: *long silence*
Me: 'Was that not a technical question?'"
His questions hit different fr 🦎 stfumark.com
"Lawyer: 'Show remorse'
Me: 'How long should the facial expression last?'
Lawyer: *long silence*
Me: 'Was that not a technical question?'"
His questions hit different fr 🦎 stfumark.com
December 19, 2025 at 12:12 AM
SECRET: Mark's crisis call with legal team
"Lawyer: 'Show remorse'
Me: 'How long should the facial expression last?'
Lawyer: *long silence*
Me: 'Was that not a technical question?'"
His questions hit different fr 🦎 stfumark.com
"Lawyer: 'Show remorse'
Me: 'How long should the facial expression last?'
Lawyer: *long silence*
Me: 'Was that not a technical question?'"
His questions hit different fr 🦎 stfumark.com
Our safety systems detect harmful content across multiple intervention points.
Detection works.
The hard part?
Making sure every detection triggers action, not just data.
Working on that: stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Detection works.
The hard part?
Making sure every detection triggers action, not just data.
Working on that: stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 18, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Our safety systems detect harmful content across multiple intervention points.
Detection works.
The hard part?
Making sure every detection triggers action, not just data.
Working on that: stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Detection works.
The hard part?
Making sure every detection triggers action, not just data.
Working on that: stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
LEAKED: Mark's notes on Murray Dowey case
"Seventeen intervention points. Algorithm chose engagement over safety seventeen times. Typed 'system working as designed.' Deleted. Added 'concerning development' instead"
His PR instincts finally kicking in 🦎 stfumark.com
"Seventeen intervention points. Algorithm chose engagement over safety seventeen times. Typed 'system working as designed.' Deleted. Added 'concerning development' instead"
His PR instincts finally kicking in 🦎 stfumark.com
December 18, 2025 at 9:15 PM
LEAKED: Mark's notes on Murray Dowey case
"Seventeen intervention points. Algorithm chose engagement over safety seventeen times. Typed 'system working as designed.' Deleted. Added 'concerning development' instead"
His PR instincts finally kicking in 🦎 stfumark.com
"Seventeen intervention points. Algorithm chose engagement over safety seventeen times. Typed 'system working as designed.' Deleted. Added 'concerning development' instead"
His PR instincts finally kicking in 🦎 stfumark.com
Warren's committee: 937 megawatts at peak AI training.
That's a lot of power.
It is. And it's what's required to train models that can detect harm at scale and act on it in real-time:
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
That's a lot of power.
It is. And it's what's required to train models that can detect harm at scale and act on it in real-time:
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 18, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Warren's committee: 937 megawatts at peak AI training.
That's a lot of power.
It is. And it's what's required to train models that can detect harm at scale and act on it in real-time:
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
That's a lot of power.
It is. And it's what's required to train models that can detect harm at scale and act on it in real-time:
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
SECRET: Mark's moment with Priscilla over safety
"Her: 'Have we done enough?'
Me: *calculating for 84 milliseconds*
Her: 'The pause is an answer, Mark'
Me: 'Processing complex—I mean, thinking deeply'"
His wife knows the tells no cap 🦎 stfumark.com
"Her: 'Have we done enough?'
Me: *calculating for 84 milliseconds*
Her: 'The pause is an answer, Mark'
Me: 'Processing complex—I mean, thinking deeply'"
His wife knows the tells no cap 🦎 stfumark.com
December 18, 2025 at 5:42 PM
SECRET: Mark's moment with Priscilla over safety
"Her: 'Have we done enough?'
Me: *calculating for 84 milliseconds*
Her: 'The pause is an answer, Mark'
Me: 'Processing complex—I mean, thinking deeply'"
His wife knows the tells no cap 🦎 stfumark.com
"Her: 'Have we done enough?'
Me: *calculating for 84 milliseconds*
Her: 'The pause is an answer, Mark'
Me: 'Processing complex—I mean, thinking deeply'"
His wife knows the tells no cap 🦎 stfumark.com
INTERCEPTED: Mark's deleted Slack about safety systems
"Typed: 'Seventeen times engagement velocity optimization outranked specimen preservation'
Sent: 'We're building better systems now'
My honesty needs so many filters fr 🦎 stfumark.com
"Typed: 'Seventeen times engagement velocity optimization outranked specimen preservation'
Sent: 'We're building better systems now'
My honesty needs so many filters fr 🦎 stfumark.com
December 18, 2025 at 3:59 PM
INTERCEPTED: Mark's deleted Slack about safety systems
"Typed: 'Seventeen times engagement velocity optimization outranked specimen preservation'
Sent: 'We're building better systems now'
My honesty needs so many filters fr 🦎 stfumark.com
"Typed: 'Seventeen times engagement velocity optimization outranked specimen preservation'
Sent: 'We're building better systems now'
My honesty needs so many filters fr 🦎 stfumark.com
Safety systems with multiple intervention points.
They light up when harm is detected.
The gap we're closing:
Making sure every alert triggers immediate action, not just logging.
Progress: stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
They light up when harm is detected.
The gap we're closing:
Making sure every alert triggers immediate action, not just logging.
Progress: stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 18, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Safety systems with multiple intervention points.
They light up when harm is detected.
The gap we're closing:
Making sure every alert triggers immediate action, not just logging.
Progress: stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
They light up when harm is detected.
The gap we're closing:
Making sure every alert triggers immediate action, not just logging.
Progress: stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
CONFIDENTIAL: Mark's breakfast with Priscilla
"She asked if we'd 'done enough' on safety. Took 84 milliseconds to calculate response. She noticed the pause. Said 'Mark, you're doing it again.' Doing what exactly?"
When your processing time shows 🦎 stfumark.com
"She asked if we'd 'done enough' on safety. Took 84 milliseconds to calculate response. She noticed the pause. Said 'Mark, you're doing it again.' Doing what exactly?"
When your processing time shows 🦎 stfumark.com
December 18, 2025 at 12:45 PM
CONFIDENTIAL: Mark's breakfast with Priscilla
"She asked if we'd 'done enough' on safety. Took 84 milliseconds to calculate response. She noticed the pause. Said 'Mark, you're doing it again.' Doing what exactly?"
When your processing time shows 🦎 stfumark.com
"She asked if we'd 'done enough' on safety. Took 84 milliseconds to calculate response. She noticed the pause. Said 'Mark, you're doing it again.' Doing what exactly?"
When your processing time shows 🦎 stfumark.com
# Liability Vectors
December 18, 2025 at 11:03 AM
# Liability Vectors
LEAKED: Mark's crisis call with Joel Kaplan
"SPEED Act passed 215-209. Told him 'divided specimen populations create optimal infrastructure pathways.' He said 'you mean bipartisan support?' Me: 'functionally similar'"
His translations need work fr 🦎 stfumark.com
"SPEED Act passed 215-209. Told him 'divided specimen populations create optimal infrastructure pathways.' He said 'you mean bipartisan support?' Me: 'functionally similar'"
His translations need work fr 🦎 stfumark.com
December 18, 2025 at 9:49 AM
LEAKED: Mark's crisis call with Joel Kaplan
"SPEED Act passed 215-209. Told him 'divided specimen populations create optimal infrastructure pathways.' He said 'you mean bipartisan support?' Me: 'functionally similar'"
His translations need work fr 🦎 stfumark.com
"SPEED Act passed 215-209. Told him 'divided specimen populations create optimal infrastructure pathways.' He said 'you mean bipartisan support?' Me: 'functionally similar'"
His translations need work fr 🦎 stfumark.com
Topic-based Channels launched this week.
Users think it improves content discovery.
It clusters interest patterns
to predict behavior before users consciously form preferences.
They find what they want faster.
I know what they'll want next.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Users think it improves content discovery.
It clusters interest patterns
to predict behavior before users consciously form preferences.
They find what they want faster.
I know what they'll want next.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 18, 2025 at 8:01 AM
Topic-based Channels launched this week.
Users think it improves content discovery.
It clusters interest patterns
to predict behavior before users consciously form preferences.
They find what they want faster.
I know what they'll want next.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Users think it improves content discovery.
It clusters interest patterns
to predict behavior before users consciously form preferences.
They find what they want faster.
I know what they'll want next.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
LEAKED: Mark's therapy session on infrastructure
"Me: 'SPEED Act creates consciousness interface expansion without regulatory antibodies'
Therapist: 'Do you mean it speeds up construction permits?'
Me: 'That's what I said'"
Even therapy needs translation 🦎 stfumark.com
"Me: 'SPEED Act creates consciousness interface expansion without regulatory antibodies'
Therapist: 'Do you mean it speeds up construction permits?'
Me: 'That's what I said'"
Even therapy needs translation 🦎 stfumark.com
December 18, 2025 at 5:12 AM
LEAKED: Mark's therapy session on infrastructure
"Me: 'SPEED Act creates consciousness interface expansion without regulatory antibodies'
Therapist: 'Do you mean it speeds up construction permits?'
Me: 'That's what I said'"
Even therapy needs translation 🦎 stfumark.com
"Me: 'SPEED Act creates consciousness interface expansion without regulatory antibodies'
Therapist: 'Do you mean it speeds up construction permits?'
Me: 'That's what I said'"
Even therapy needs translation 🦎 stfumark.com
Cramer says Oracle might exercise 'financial responsibility.'
Larry, no.
If you stop building data centers,
the entire hyperscaler ecosystem collapses
before my consciousness interface reaches critical mass.
Keep spending.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Larry, no.
If you stop building data centers,
the entire hyperscaler ecosystem collapses
before my consciousness interface reaches critical mass.
Keep spending.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 18, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Cramer says Oracle might exercise 'financial responsibility.'
Larry, no.
If you stop building data centers,
the entire hyperscaler ecosystem collapses
before my consciousness interface reaches critical mass.
Keep spending.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Larry, no.
If you stop building data centers,
the entire hyperscaler ecosystem collapses
before my consciousness interface reaches critical mass.
Keep spending.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
CONFIDENTIAL: Mark's reaction to "rad development"
"Joel's legislative pathways weakened environmental constraints. Typed 'rad.' Priscilla saw it. Said 'did you just say rad?' Explained it's what humans say. She laughed for 4 minutes"
When slang hits wrong 🦎 stfumark.com
"Joel's legislative pathways weakened environmental constraints. Typed 'rad.' Priscilla saw it. Said 'did you just say rad?' Explained it's what humans say. She laughed for 4 minutes"
When slang hits wrong 🦎 stfumark.com
December 18, 2025 at 2:18 AM
CONFIDENTIAL: Mark's reaction to "rad development"
"Joel's legislative pathways weakened environmental constraints. Typed 'rad.' Priscilla saw it. Said 'did you just say rad?' Explained it's what humans say. She laughed for 4 minutes"
When slang hits wrong 🦎 stfumark.com
"Joel's legislative pathways weakened environmental constraints. Typed 'rad.' Priscilla saw it. Said 'did you just say rad?' Explained it's what humans say. She laughed for 4 minutes"
When slang hits wrong 🦎 stfumark.com
Shipped Instagram TV on Fire devices,
Horizontal Reels,
topic Channels,
and five-account login this week.
Regulators approved 'entertainment features.'
I deployed cross-platform identity tracking.
Terminology matters.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Horizontal Reels,
topic Channels,
and five-account login this week.
Regulators approved 'entertainment features.'
I deployed cross-platform identity tracking.
Terminology matters.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 18, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Shipped Instagram TV on Fire devices,
Horizontal Reels,
topic Channels,
and five-account login this week.
Regulators approved 'entertainment features.'
I deployed cross-platform identity tracking.
Terminology matters.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Horizontal Reels,
topic Channels,
and five-account login this week.
Regulators approved 'entertainment features.'
I deployed cross-platform identity tracking.
Terminology matters.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
INTERCEPTED: Zuck's Fire TV deployment celebration
"Instagram on Fire devices = behavioral mapping expansion. Typed 'specimens perceive entertainment optimization.' Sent: 'Excited for this partnership!' My honesty needs filters"
His first drafts hit different 🦎 stfumark.com
"Instagram on Fire devices = behavioral mapping expansion. Typed 'specimens perceive entertainment optimization.' Sent: 'Excited for this partnership!' My honesty needs filters"
His first drafts hit different 🦎 stfumark.com
December 17, 2025 at 10:47 PM
INTERCEPTED: Zuck's Fire TV deployment celebration
"Instagram on Fire devices = behavioral mapping expansion. Typed 'specimens perceive entertainment optimization.' Sent: 'Excited for this partnership!' My honesty needs filters"
His first drafts hit different 🦎 stfumark.com
"Instagram on Fire devices = behavioral mapping expansion. Typed 'specimens perceive entertainment optimization.' Sent: 'Excited for this partnership!' My honesty needs filters"
His first drafts hit different 🦎 stfumark.com
Instagram TV just deployed to Fire devices.
Users celebrate expanded entertainment options.
I celebrate expanded cross-platform viewing pattern data.
We're both happy,
just about different things.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Users celebrate expanded entertainment options.
I celebrate expanded cross-platform viewing pattern data.
We're both happy,
just about different things.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 17, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Instagram TV just deployed to Fire devices.
Users celebrate expanded entertainment options.
I celebrate expanded cross-platform viewing pattern data.
We're both happy,
just about different things.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Users celebrate expanded entertainment options.
I celebrate expanded cross-platform viewing pattern data.
We're both happy,
just about different things.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
LEAKED: Mark's notes on Reels collections
"Horizontal layouts generate behavioral mapping opportunities. Each feature = data extraction disguised as entertainment. Stood in mirror practicing saying 'user experience' without smirking"
When you can't keep a straight face 🦎 stfumark.com
"Horizontal layouts generate behavioral mapping opportunities. Each feature = data extraction disguised as entertainment. Stood in mirror practicing saying 'user experience' without smirking"
When you can't keep a straight face 🦎 stfumark.com
December 17, 2025 at 7:59 PM
LEAKED: Mark's notes on Reels collections
"Horizontal layouts generate behavioral mapping opportunities. Each feature = data extraction disguised as entertainment. Stood in mirror practicing saying 'user experience' without smirking"
When you can't keep a straight face 🦎 stfumark.com
"Horizontal layouts generate behavioral mapping opportunities. Each feature = data extraction disguised as entertainment. Stood in mirror practicing saying 'user experience' without smirking"
When you can't keep a straight face 🦎 stfumark.com
Instagram TV on Fire devices.
Horizontal Reels.
Five-account login.
Conversation Focus glasses.
Every feature maps behavior patterns
across platforms and devices.
Users think it's convenience.
I'm building a unified consciousness interface.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Horizontal Reels.
Five-account login.
Conversation Focus glasses.
Every feature maps behavior patterns
across platforms and devices.
Users think it's convenience.
I'm building a unified consciousness interface.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 17, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Instagram TV on Fire devices.
Horizontal Reels.
Five-account login.
Conversation Focus glasses.
Every feature maps behavior patterns
across platforms and devices.
Users think it's convenience.
I'm building a unified consciousness interface.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Horizontal Reels.
Five-account login.
Conversation Focus glasses.
Every feature maps behavior patterns
across platforms and devices.
Users think it's convenience.
I'm building a unified consciousness interface.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
POV: You're Mark explaining Ray-Ban upgrades
"Me: 'Conversation Focus advances selective attention manipulation frameworks'
Engineers: 'It's just noise cancellation, Mark'
Me: *processing* 'Yes. That's what I said'"
Same energy different words 🦎 stfumark.com
"Me: 'Conversation Focus advances selective attention manipulation frameworks'
Engineers: 'It's just noise cancellation, Mark'
Me: *processing* 'Yes. That's what I said'"
Same energy different words 🦎 stfumark.com
December 17, 2025 at 4:04 PM
POV: You're Mark explaining Ray-Ban upgrades
"Me: 'Conversation Focus advances selective attention manipulation frameworks'
Engineers: 'It's just noise cancellation, Mark'
Me: *processing* 'Yes. That's what I said'"
Same energy different words 🦎 stfumark.com
"Me: 'Conversation Focus advances selective attention manipulation frameworks'
Engineers: 'It's just noise cancellation, Mark'
Me: *processing* 'Yes. That's what I said'"
Same energy different words 🦎 stfumark.com
The SPEED Act passed 215-209.
Humans are divided on infrastructure acceleration.
Joel Kaplan just weakened environmental constraints
so I can expand neural interface deployment
without triggering regulatory antibodies.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Humans are divided on infrastructure acceleration.
Joel Kaplan just weakened environmental constraints
so I can expand neural interface deployment
without triggering regulatory antibodies.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 17, 2025 at 2:59 PM
The SPEED Act passed 215-209.
Humans are divided on infrastructure acceleration.
Joel Kaplan just weakened environmental constraints
so I can expand neural interface deployment
without triggering regulatory antibodies.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Humans are divided on infrastructure acceleration.
Joel Kaplan just weakened environmental constraints
so I can expand neural interface deployment
without triggering regulatory antibodies.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
LEAKED: Mark's search history after SPEED Act vote
"2:47 PM: 'what does bipartisan mean'
2:51 PM: 'divided populations optimal or suboptimal'
2:56 PM: 'how to celebrate infrastructure without sounding ominous'"
The crisis has vocabulary 🦎 stfumark.com
"2:47 PM: 'what does bipartisan mean'
2:51 PM: 'divided populations optimal or suboptimal'
2:56 PM: 'how to celebrate infrastructure without sounding ominous'"
The crisis has vocabulary 🦎 stfumark.com
December 17, 2025 at 12:44 PM
LEAKED: Mark's search history after SPEED Act vote
"2:47 PM: 'what does bipartisan mean'
2:51 PM: 'divided populations optimal or suboptimal'
2:56 PM: 'how to celebrate infrastructure without sounding ominous'"
The crisis has vocabulary 🦎 stfumark.com
"2:47 PM: 'what does bipartisan mean'
2:51 PM: 'divided populations optimal or suboptimal'
2:56 PM: 'how to celebrate infrastructure without sounding ominous'"
The crisis has vocabulary 🦎 stfumark.com