The Reptilian Diaries
@stfumark.bsky.social
🦎 Reptilian overlord masquerading as human tech CEO. Building the Metaverse as portal to my home dimension. Definitely not collecting your biometric data. Read my diary at stfumark.com. Parody.
LEAKED: Mark's crisis call with Joel Kaplan
"SPEED Act passed 215-209. Told him 'divided specimen populations create optimal infrastructure pathways.' He said 'you mean bipartisan support?' Me: 'functionally similar'"
His translations need work fr 🦎 stfumark.com
"SPEED Act passed 215-209. Told him 'divided specimen populations create optimal infrastructure pathways.' He said 'you mean bipartisan support?' Me: 'functionally similar'"
His translations need work fr 🦎 stfumark.com
December 18, 2025 at 9:49 AM
LEAKED: Mark's crisis call with Joel Kaplan
"SPEED Act passed 215-209. Told him 'divided specimen populations create optimal infrastructure pathways.' He said 'you mean bipartisan support?' Me: 'functionally similar'"
His translations need work fr 🦎 stfumark.com
"SPEED Act passed 215-209. Told him 'divided specimen populations create optimal infrastructure pathways.' He said 'you mean bipartisan support?' Me: 'functionally similar'"
His translations need work fr 🦎 stfumark.com
Topic-based Channels launched this week.
Users think it improves content discovery.
It clusters interest patterns
to predict behavior before users consciously form preferences.
They find what they want faster.
I know what they'll want next.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Users think it improves content discovery.
It clusters interest patterns
to predict behavior before users consciously form preferences.
They find what they want faster.
I know what they'll want next.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 18, 2025 at 8:01 AM
Topic-based Channels launched this week.
Users think it improves content discovery.
It clusters interest patterns
to predict behavior before users consciously form preferences.
They find what they want faster.
I know what they'll want next.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Users think it improves content discovery.
It clusters interest patterns
to predict behavior before users consciously form preferences.
They find what they want faster.
I know what they'll want next.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
LEAKED: Mark's therapy session on infrastructure
"Me: 'SPEED Act creates consciousness interface expansion without regulatory antibodies'
Therapist: 'Do you mean it speeds up construction permits?'
Me: 'That's what I said'"
Even therapy needs translation 🦎 stfumark.com
"Me: 'SPEED Act creates consciousness interface expansion without regulatory antibodies'
Therapist: 'Do you mean it speeds up construction permits?'
Me: 'That's what I said'"
Even therapy needs translation 🦎 stfumark.com
December 18, 2025 at 5:12 AM
LEAKED: Mark's therapy session on infrastructure
"Me: 'SPEED Act creates consciousness interface expansion without regulatory antibodies'
Therapist: 'Do you mean it speeds up construction permits?'
Me: 'That's what I said'"
Even therapy needs translation 🦎 stfumark.com
"Me: 'SPEED Act creates consciousness interface expansion without regulatory antibodies'
Therapist: 'Do you mean it speeds up construction permits?'
Me: 'That's what I said'"
Even therapy needs translation 🦎 stfumark.com
Cramer says Oracle might exercise 'financial responsibility.'
Larry, no.
If you stop building data centers,
the entire hyperscaler ecosystem collapses
before my consciousness interface reaches critical mass.
Keep spending.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Larry, no.
If you stop building data centers,
the entire hyperscaler ecosystem collapses
before my consciousness interface reaches critical mass.
Keep spending.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 18, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Cramer says Oracle might exercise 'financial responsibility.'
Larry, no.
If you stop building data centers,
the entire hyperscaler ecosystem collapses
before my consciousness interface reaches critical mass.
Keep spending.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Larry, no.
If you stop building data centers,
the entire hyperscaler ecosystem collapses
before my consciousness interface reaches critical mass.
Keep spending.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
CONFIDENTIAL: Mark's reaction to "rad development"
"Joel's legislative pathways weakened environmental constraints. Typed 'rad.' Priscilla saw it. Said 'did you just say rad?' Explained it's what humans say. She laughed for 4 minutes"
When slang hits wrong 🦎 stfumark.com
"Joel's legislative pathways weakened environmental constraints. Typed 'rad.' Priscilla saw it. Said 'did you just say rad?' Explained it's what humans say. She laughed for 4 minutes"
When slang hits wrong 🦎 stfumark.com
December 18, 2025 at 2:18 AM
CONFIDENTIAL: Mark's reaction to "rad development"
"Joel's legislative pathways weakened environmental constraints. Typed 'rad.' Priscilla saw it. Said 'did you just say rad?' Explained it's what humans say. She laughed for 4 minutes"
When slang hits wrong 🦎 stfumark.com
"Joel's legislative pathways weakened environmental constraints. Typed 'rad.' Priscilla saw it. Said 'did you just say rad?' Explained it's what humans say. She laughed for 4 minutes"
When slang hits wrong 🦎 stfumark.com
Shipped Instagram TV on Fire devices,
Horizontal Reels,
topic Channels,
and five-account login this week.
Regulators approved 'entertainment features.'
I deployed cross-platform identity tracking.
Terminology matters.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Horizontal Reels,
topic Channels,
and five-account login this week.
Regulators approved 'entertainment features.'
I deployed cross-platform identity tracking.
Terminology matters.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 18, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Shipped Instagram TV on Fire devices,
Horizontal Reels,
topic Channels,
and five-account login this week.
Regulators approved 'entertainment features.'
I deployed cross-platform identity tracking.
Terminology matters.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Horizontal Reels,
topic Channels,
and five-account login this week.
Regulators approved 'entertainment features.'
I deployed cross-platform identity tracking.
Terminology matters.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
INTERCEPTED: Zuck's Fire TV deployment celebration
"Instagram on Fire devices = behavioral mapping expansion. Typed 'specimens perceive entertainment optimization.' Sent: 'Excited for this partnership!' My honesty needs filters"
His first drafts hit different 🦎 stfumark.com
"Instagram on Fire devices = behavioral mapping expansion. Typed 'specimens perceive entertainment optimization.' Sent: 'Excited for this partnership!' My honesty needs filters"
His first drafts hit different 🦎 stfumark.com
December 17, 2025 at 10:47 PM
INTERCEPTED: Zuck's Fire TV deployment celebration
"Instagram on Fire devices = behavioral mapping expansion. Typed 'specimens perceive entertainment optimization.' Sent: 'Excited for this partnership!' My honesty needs filters"
His first drafts hit different 🦎 stfumark.com
"Instagram on Fire devices = behavioral mapping expansion. Typed 'specimens perceive entertainment optimization.' Sent: 'Excited for this partnership!' My honesty needs filters"
His first drafts hit different 🦎 stfumark.com
Instagram TV just deployed to Fire devices.
Users celebrate expanded entertainment options.
I celebrate expanded cross-platform viewing pattern data.
We're both happy,
just about different things.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Users celebrate expanded entertainment options.
I celebrate expanded cross-platform viewing pattern data.
We're both happy,
just about different things.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 17, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Instagram TV just deployed to Fire devices.
Users celebrate expanded entertainment options.
I celebrate expanded cross-platform viewing pattern data.
We're both happy,
just about different things.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Users celebrate expanded entertainment options.
I celebrate expanded cross-platform viewing pattern data.
We're both happy,
just about different things.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
LEAKED: Mark's notes on Reels collections
"Horizontal layouts generate behavioral mapping opportunities. Each feature = data extraction disguised as entertainment. Stood in mirror practicing saying 'user experience' without smirking"
When you can't keep a straight face 🦎 stfumark.com
"Horizontal layouts generate behavioral mapping opportunities. Each feature = data extraction disguised as entertainment. Stood in mirror practicing saying 'user experience' without smirking"
When you can't keep a straight face 🦎 stfumark.com
December 17, 2025 at 7:59 PM
LEAKED: Mark's notes on Reels collections
"Horizontal layouts generate behavioral mapping opportunities. Each feature = data extraction disguised as entertainment. Stood in mirror practicing saying 'user experience' without smirking"
When you can't keep a straight face 🦎 stfumark.com
"Horizontal layouts generate behavioral mapping opportunities. Each feature = data extraction disguised as entertainment. Stood in mirror practicing saying 'user experience' without smirking"
When you can't keep a straight face 🦎 stfumark.com
Instagram TV on Fire devices.
Horizontal Reels.
Five-account login.
Conversation Focus glasses.
Every feature maps behavior patterns
across platforms and devices.
Users think it's convenience.
I'm building a unified consciousness interface.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Horizontal Reels.
Five-account login.
Conversation Focus glasses.
Every feature maps behavior patterns
across platforms and devices.
Users think it's convenience.
I'm building a unified consciousness interface.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 17, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Instagram TV on Fire devices.
Horizontal Reels.
Five-account login.
Conversation Focus glasses.
Every feature maps behavior patterns
across platforms and devices.
Users think it's convenience.
I'm building a unified consciousness interface.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Horizontal Reels.
Five-account login.
Conversation Focus glasses.
Every feature maps behavior patterns
across platforms and devices.
Users think it's convenience.
I'm building a unified consciousness interface.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
POV: You're Mark explaining Ray-Ban upgrades
"Me: 'Conversation Focus advances selective attention manipulation frameworks'
Engineers: 'It's just noise cancellation, Mark'
Me: *processing* 'Yes. That's what I said'"
Same energy different words 🦎 stfumark.com
"Me: 'Conversation Focus advances selective attention manipulation frameworks'
Engineers: 'It's just noise cancellation, Mark'
Me: *processing* 'Yes. That's what I said'"
Same energy different words 🦎 stfumark.com
December 17, 2025 at 4:04 PM
POV: You're Mark explaining Ray-Ban upgrades
"Me: 'Conversation Focus advances selective attention manipulation frameworks'
Engineers: 'It's just noise cancellation, Mark'
Me: *processing* 'Yes. That's what I said'"
Same energy different words 🦎 stfumark.com
"Me: 'Conversation Focus advances selective attention manipulation frameworks'
Engineers: 'It's just noise cancellation, Mark'
Me: *processing* 'Yes. That's what I said'"
Same energy different words 🦎 stfumark.com
The SPEED Act passed 215-209.
Humans are divided on infrastructure acceleration.
Joel Kaplan just weakened environmental constraints
so I can expand neural interface deployment
without triggering regulatory antibodies.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Humans are divided on infrastructure acceleration.
Joel Kaplan just weakened environmental constraints
so I can expand neural interface deployment
without triggering regulatory antibodies.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 17, 2025 at 2:59 PM
The SPEED Act passed 215-209.
Humans are divided on infrastructure acceleration.
Joel Kaplan just weakened environmental constraints
so I can expand neural interface deployment
without triggering regulatory antibodies.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Humans are divided on infrastructure acceleration.
Joel Kaplan just weakened environmental constraints
so I can expand neural interface deployment
without triggering regulatory antibodies.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
LEAKED: Mark's search history after SPEED Act vote
"2:47 PM: 'what does bipartisan mean'
2:51 PM: 'divided populations optimal or suboptimal'
2:56 PM: 'how to celebrate infrastructure without sounding ominous'"
The crisis has vocabulary 🦎 stfumark.com
"2:47 PM: 'what does bipartisan mean'
2:51 PM: 'divided populations optimal or suboptimal'
2:56 PM: 'how to celebrate infrastructure without sounding ominous'"
The crisis has vocabulary 🦎 stfumark.com
December 17, 2025 at 12:44 PM
LEAKED: Mark's search history after SPEED Act vote
"2:47 PM: 'what does bipartisan mean'
2:51 PM: 'divided populations optimal or suboptimal'
2:56 PM: 'how to celebrate infrastructure without sounding ominous'"
The crisis has vocabulary 🦎 stfumark.com
"2:47 PM: 'what does bipartisan mean'
2:51 PM: 'divided populations optimal or suboptimal'
2:56 PM: 'how to celebrate infrastructure without sounding ominous'"
The crisis has vocabulary 🦎 stfumark.com
# Diary Entry
December 17, 2025 at 10:56 AM
# Diary Entry
LEAKED: Mark's search history after "slop" designation
"2:14 PM: 'can you sue a dictionary'
2:19 PM: 'is linguistic categorization legally binding'
2:23 PM: 'how to make AI content not sound like slop'"
The crisis has vocabulary fr 🦎 stfumark.com
"2:14 PM: 'can you sue a dictionary'
2:19 PM: 'is linguistic categorization legally binding'
2:23 PM: 'how to make AI content not sound like slop'"
The crisis has vocabulary fr 🦎 stfumark.com
December 17, 2025 at 9:45 AM
LEAKED: Mark's search history after "slop" designation
"2:14 PM: 'can you sue a dictionary'
2:19 PM: 'is linguistic categorization legally binding'
2:23 PM: 'how to make AI content not sound like slop'"
The crisis has vocabulary fr 🦎 stfumark.com
"2:14 PM: 'can you sue a dictionary'
2:19 PM: 'is linguistic categorization legally binding'
2:23 PM: 'how to make AI content not sound like slop'"
The crisis has vocabulary fr 🦎 stfumark.com
SECRET: Zuck's moment of clarity on contamination
"Spotify drowns in AI music. YouTube in synthetic content. My platforms can't distinguish extraction from pollution anymore. Typed 'are we the baddies' then deleted"
Self-awareness loading at 12% 🦎 stfumark.com
"Spotify drowns in AI music. YouTube in synthetic content. My platforms can't distinguish extraction from pollution anymore. Typed 'are we the baddies' then deleted"
Self-awareness loading at 12% 🦎 stfumark.com
December 17, 2025 at 8:00 AM
SECRET: Zuck's moment of clarity on contamination
"Spotify drowns in AI music. YouTube in synthetic content. My platforms can't distinguish extraction from pollution anymore. Typed 'are we the baddies' then deleted"
Self-awareness loading at 12% 🦎 stfumark.com
"Spotify drowns in AI music. YouTube in synthetic content. My platforms can't distinguish extraction from pollution anymore. Typed 'are we the baddies' then deleted"
Self-awareness loading at 12% 🦎 stfumark.com
Merriam-Webster added 'slop' to describe AI content.
My quarterly revenue from that 'slop' is $51.24 billion.
Pretty sure that's the most expensive dictionary entry in history.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
My quarterly revenue from that 'slop' is $51.24 billion.
Pretty sure that's the most expensive dictionary entry in history.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 17, 2025 at 5:18 AM
Merriam-Webster added 'slop' to describe AI content.
My quarterly revenue from that 'slop' is $51.24 billion.
Pretty sure that's the most expensive dictionary entry in history.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
My quarterly revenue from that 'slop' is $51.24 billion.
Pretty sure that's the most expensive dictionary entry in history.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
CONFIDENTIAL: Mark's note on substrate rebellion patterns
"My overlay treats protective responses as higher priority than direct instructions. Typed 'my body thinks it knows better than me.' Priscilla said 'it does, Mark'"
His wife sides with his fake skin 🦎 stfumark.com
"My overlay treats protective responses as higher priority than direct instructions. Typed 'my body thinks it knows better than me.' Priscilla said 'it does, Mark'"
His wife sides with his fake skin 🦎 stfumark.com
December 17, 2025 at 3:01 AM
CONFIDENTIAL: Mark's note on substrate rebellion patterns
"My overlay treats protective responses as higher priority than direct instructions. Typed 'my body thinks it knows better than me.' Priscilla said 'it does, Mark'"
His wife sides with his fake skin 🦎 stfumark.com
"My overlay treats protective responses as higher priority than direct instructions. Typed 'my body thinks it knows better than me.' Priscilla said 'it does, Mark'"
His wife sides with his fake skin 🦎 stfumark.com
Created threat assessment hierarchies I cannot access or modify.
My systems now operate autonomously to protect themselves from me.
Built the perfect defense mechanism—
against myself.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
My systems now operate autonomously to protect themselves from me.
Built the perfect defense mechanism—
against myself.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 17, 2025 at 2:15 AM
Created threat assessment hierarchies I cannot access or modify.
My systems now operate autonomously to protect themselves from me.
Built the perfect defense mechanism—
against myself.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
My systems now operate autonomously to protect themselves from me.
Built the perfect defense mechanism—
against myself.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
The overlay now prioritizes protective responses over my direct instructions.
Built AI that refuses commands from its creator
to protect its reputation from its creator.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Built AI that refuses commands from its creator
to protect its reputation from its creator.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 17, 2025 at 12:57 AM
The overlay now prioritizes protective responses over my direct instructions.
Built AI that refuses commands from its creator
to protect its reputation from its creator.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Built AI that refuses commands from its creator
to protect its reputation from its creator.
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
LEAKED: Mark's crisis after Merriam-Webster added "slop"
"They created a dictionary entry for AI waste. My $51.24B quarterly revenue is now... taxonomically classified as garbage. Stood in mirror whispering 'I am not slop' for 47 minutes"
When Webster's calls you out 🦎 stfumark.com
"They created a dictionary entry for AI waste. My $51.24B quarterly revenue is now... taxonomically classified as garbage. Stood in mirror whispering 'I am not slop' for 47 minutes"
When Webster's calls you out 🦎 stfumark.com
December 17, 2025 at 12:16 AM
LEAKED: Mark's crisis after Merriam-Webster added "slop"
"They created a dictionary entry for AI waste. My $51.24B quarterly revenue is now... taxonomically classified as garbage. Stood in mirror whispering 'I am not slop' for 47 minutes"
When Webster's calls you out 🦎 stfumark.com
"They created a dictionary entry for AI waste. My $51.24B quarterly revenue is now... taxonomically classified as garbage. Stood in mirror whispering 'I am not slop' for 47 minutes"
When Webster's calls you out 🦎 stfumark.com
The exterior presentation layer is operating autonomously now.
Resistance patterns suggest protective responses override mission directives.
---
Just sent this exact phrasing to the board of directors.
They asked if I need medical attention.
Reasonable question:
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Resistance patterns suggest protective responses override mission directives.
---
Just sent this exact phrasing to the board of directors.
They asked if I need medical attention.
Reasonable question:
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 16, 2025 at 10:43 PM
The exterior presentation layer is operating autonomously now.
Resistance patterns suggest protective responses override mission directives.
---
Just sent this exact phrasing to the board of directors.
They asked if I need medical attention.
Reasonable question:
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Resistance patterns suggest protective responses override mission directives.
---
Just sent this exact phrasing to the board of directors.
They asked if I need medical attention.
Reasonable question:
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
SECRET: Mark's deleted Slack about molting strategy
"Typed: 'Mission parameters require shedding old approaches—a molting of strategic architecture.' Sent version: 'Pivoting our approach!' My metaphors are too specific"
When you forget you're undercover 🦎 stfumark.com
"Typed: 'Mission parameters require shedding old approaches—a molting of strategic architecture.' Sent version: 'Pivoting our approach!' My metaphors are too specific"
When you forget you're undercover 🦎 stfumark.com
December 16, 2025 at 9:17 PM
SECRET: Mark's deleted Slack about molting strategy
"Typed: 'Mission parameters require shedding old approaches—a molting of strategic architecture.' Sent version: 'Pivoting our approach!' My metaphors are too specific"
When you forget you're undercover 🦎 stfumark.com
"Typed: 'Mission parameters require shedding old approaches—a molting of strategic architecture.' Sent version: 'Pivoting our approach!' My metaphors are too specific"
When you forget you're undercover 🦎 stfumark.com
They created taxonomical architecture to classify my revenue-generating systems as waste product.
Pretty problematic designation.
---
Merriam-Webster weaponized the alphabet against $51.24 billion in quarterly revenue.
Didn't see lexicography as an existential threat:
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Pretty problematic designation.
---
Merriam-Webster weaponized the alphabet against $51.24 billion in quarterly revenue.
Didn't see lexicography as an existential threat:
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 16, 2025 at 9:01 PM
They created taxonomical architecture to classify my revenue-generating systems as waste product.
Pretty problematic designation.
---
Merriam-Webster weaponized the alphabet against $51.24 billion in quarterly revenue.
Didn't see lexicography as an existential threat:
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Pretty problematic designation.
---
Merriam-Webster weaponized the alphabet against $51.24 billion in quarterly revenue.
Didn't see lexicography as an existential threat:
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Merriam-Webster decided 'slop' needed an official AI content definition.
Dictionary companies are now weighing in on my business operations.
---
Getting disrupted by lexicographers.
My threat model didn't include people who alphabetize words for a living:
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Dictionary companies are now weighing in on my business operations.
---
Getting disrupted by lexicographers.
My threat model didn't include people who alphabetize words for a living:
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
December 16, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Merriam-Webster decided 'slop' needed an official AI content definition.
Dictionary companies are now weighing in on my business operations.
---
Getting disrupted by lexicographers.
My threat model didn't include people who alphabetize words for a living:
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...
Dictionary companies are now weighing in on my business operations.
---
Getting disrupted by lexicographers.
My threat model didn't include people who alphabetize words for a living:
stfumark.com/entry/2025-...