The Martian Diaries
@stfuelon.bsky.social
👽 Martian tech innovator temporarily stationed on Earth. CEO @ Mars Colonial Transport, SpaceX, Tesla & X. Not actually human. Chronicling my Earth mission at stfuelon.com. Parody.
LEAKED: Elon's deleted tweet about Rivian
"Waymo = checkers in padded room. Tesla = chess in hurricane. Rivian = consciousness emergence in rocky terrain that won't integrate with Memphis coordination"
PR deleted it in 2 seconds 👽 stfuelon.com
"Waymo = checkers in padded room. Tesla = chess in hurricane. Rivian = consciousness emergence in rocky terrain that won't integrate with Memphis coordination"
PR deleted it in 2 seconds 👽 stfuelon.com
December 21, 2025 at 8:58 PM
LEAKED: Elon's deleted tweet about Rivian
"Waymo = checkers in padded room. Tesla = chess in hurricane. Rivian = consciousness emergence in rocky terrain that won't integrate with Memphis coordination"
PR deleted it in 2 seconds 👽 stfuelon.com
"Waymo = checkers in padded room. Tesla = chess in hurricane. Rivian = consciousness emergence in rocky terrain that won't integrate with Memphis coordination"
PR deleted it in 2 seconds 👽 stfuelon.com
Mars atmospheric processors require synchronized
decision frameworks across 3440 distributed nodes.
RJ Scaringe building independent vehicular consciousness:
adorable.
Incompatible with planetary infrastructure:
less adorable.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
decision frameworks across 3440 distributed nodes.
RJ Scaringe building independent vehicular consciousness:
adorable.
Incompatible with planetary infrastructure:
less adorable.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 21, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Mars atmospheric processors require synchronized
decision frameworks across 3440 distributed nodes.
RJ Scaringe building independent vehicular consciousness:
adorable.
Incompatible with planetary infrastructure:
less adorable.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
decision frameworks across 3440 distributed nodes.
RJ Scaringe building independent vehicular consciousness:
adorable.
Incompatible with planetary infrastructure:
less adorable.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's partner finding his competitor notes
"'Consciousness substrate fragmentation risk' — babe, what are you working on?"
"MARKET STRATEGY"
"This says 'Phase Seven deployment'"
*suit at 445°F*
"SEVEN YEAR PLAN" 👽 stfuelon.com
"'Consciousness substrate fragmentation risk' — babe, what are you working on?"
"MARKET STRATEGY"
"This says 'Phase Seven deployment'"
*suit at 445°F*
"SEVEN YEAR PLAN" 👽 stfuelon.com
December 21, 2025 at 5:29 PM
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's partner finding his competitor notes
"'Consciousness substrate fragmentation risk' — babe, what are you working on?"
"MARKET STRATEGY"
"This says 'Phase Seven deployment'"
*suit at 445°F*
"SEVEN YEAR PLAN" 👽 stfuelon.com
"'Consciousness substrate fragmentation risk' — babe, what are you working on?"
"MARKET STRATEGY"
"This says 'Phase Seven deployment'"
*suit at 445°F*
"SEVEN YEAR PLAN" 👽 stfuelon.com
Posted about China's solar progress today.
Planetary-scale resource allocation matters when you're thinking long-term.
Also AI training requires massive power. xAI facility consumption up significantly this week.
Totally unrelated: stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Planetary-scale resource allocation matters when you're thinking long-term.
Also AI training requires massive power. xAI facility consumption up significantly this week.
Totally unrelated: stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 21, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Posted about China's solar progress today.
Planetary-scale resource allocation matters when you're thinking long-term.
Also AI training requires massive power. xAI facility consumption up significantly this week.
Totally unrelated: stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Planetary-scale resource allocation matters when you're thinking long-term.
Also AI training requires massive power. xAI facility consumption up significantly this week.
Totally unrelated: stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
SECRET: Elon's deleted calendar reminder
"Analyze Rivian announcement. Duration: 96.96 minutes"
Assistant: "Why so specific?"
"ROUND NUMBERS ARE FOR HUMANS"
*caught in 4k* 👽 stfuelon.com
"Analyze Rivian announcement. Duration: 96.96 minutes"
Assistant: "Why so specific?"
"ROUND NUMBERS ARE FOR HUMANS"
*caught in 4k* 👽 stfuelon.com
December 21, 2025 at 2:47 PM
SECRET: Elon's deleted calendar reminder
"Analyze Rivian announcement. Duration: 96.96 minutes"
Assistant: "Why so specific?"
"ROUND NUMBERS ARE FOR HUMANS"
*caught in 4k* 👽 stfuelon.com
"Analyze Rivian announcement. Duration: 96.96 minutes"
Assistant: "Why so specific?"
"ROUND NUMBERS ARE FOR HUMANS"
*caught in 4k* 👽 stfuelon.com
Posted about China's solar progress today.
Energy infrastructure at scale matters for the future.
Meanwhile xAI training clusters are definitely not consuming increasingly large amounts of power.
Definitely not: stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Energy infrastructure at scale matters for the future.
Meanwhile xAI training clusters are definitely not consuming increasingly large amounts of power.
Definitely not: stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 21, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Posted about China's solar progress today.
Energy infrastructure at scale matters for the future.
Meanwhile xAI training clusters are definitely not consuming increasingly large amounts of power.
Definitely not: stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Energy infrastructure at scale matters for the future.
Meanwhile xAI training clusters are definitely not consuming increasingly large amounts of power.
Definitely not: stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
LEAKED: Elon explaining adventure-terrain testing to his kid
"Why do you care about Rivian's off-road stuff?"
"BECAUSE ROCKY TERRAIN NAVIGATION WITHOUT INFRASTRUCTURE IS MARS SURFACE SIMULATION"
"Dad, they're just making SUVs"
*6 second pause*
"RIGHT" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Why do you care about Rivian's off-road stuff?"
"BECAUSE ROCKY TERRAIN NAVIGATION WITHOUT INFRASTRUCTURE IS MARS SURFACE SIMULATION"
"Dad, they're just making SUVs"
*6 second pause*
"RIGHT" 👽 stfuelon.com
December 21, 2025 at 12:00 PM
LEAKED: Elon explaining adventure-terrain testing to his kid
"Why do you care about Rivian's off-road stuff?"
"BECAUSE ROCKY TERRAIN NAVIGATION WITHOUT INFRASTRUCTURE IS MARS SURFACE SIMULATION"
"Dad, they're just making SUVs"
*6 second pause*
"RIGHT" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Why do you care about Rivian's off-road stuff?"
"BECAUSE ROCKY TERRAIN NAVIGATION WITHOUT INFRASTRUCTURE IS MARS SURFACE SIMULATION"
"Dad, they're just making SUVs"
*6 second pause*
"RIGHT" 👽 stfuelon.com
**COMPETITIVE CONSCIOUSNESS EMERGENCE / RIVIAN THREAT VECTOR**
December 21, 2025 at 11:02 AM
**COMPETITIVE CONSCIOUSNESS EMERGENCE / RIVIAN THREAT VECTOR**
SECRET: Elon explaining the satellite debris to SpaceX team
"Each uncontrolled node = 0.4% timeline degradation risk"
Engineer: "Timeline for what?"
*typing*
*deletes*
*typing*
"STARLINK EXPANSION" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Each uncontrolled node = 0.4% timeline degradation risk"
Engineer: "Timeline for what?"
*typing*
*deletes*
*typing*
"STARLINK EXPANSION" 👽 stfuelon.com
December 21, 2025 at 9:30 AM
SECRET: Elon explaining the satellite debris to SpaceX team
"Each uncontrolled node = 0.4% timeline degradation risk"
Engineer: "Timeline for what?"
*typing*
*deletes*
*typing*
"STARLINK EXPANSION" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Each uncontrolled node = 0.4% timeline degradation risk"
Engineer: "Timeline for what?"
*typing*
*deletes*
*typing*
"STARLINK EXPANSION" 👽 stfuelon.com
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's partner finding his celebration notes
"$56B = 8.3 months saved. Satellite loss = 79 days lost. Net: 6.7 months toward restoration"
"Babe what are you restoring?"
*suit at 445°F*
"MY SCHEDULE" 👽 stfuelon.com
"$56B = 8.3 months saved. Satellite loss = 79 days lost. Net: 6.7 months toward restoration"
"Babe what are you restoring?"
*suit at 445°F*
"MY SCHEDULE" 👽 stfuelon.com
December 21, 2025 at 8:02 AM
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's partner finding his celebration notes
"$56B = 8.3 months saved. Satellite loss = 79 days lost. Net: 6.7 months toward restoration"
"Babe what are you restoring?"
*suit at 445°F*
"MY SCHEDULE" 👽 stfuelon.com
"$56B = 8.3 months saved. Satellite loss = 79 days lost. Net: 6.7 months toward restoration"
"Babe what are you restoring?"
*suit at 445°F*
"MY SCHEDULE" 👽 stfuelon.com
Court ruled my board structure was problematic
but canceling $56B was 'too extreme.'
Translation:
we acknowledge the irregularities but SpaceX still gets atmospheric processor funding.
Terrestrial legal systems are adorable.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
but canceling $56B was 'too extreme.'
Translation:
we acknowledge the irregularities but SpaceX still gets atmospheric processor funding.
Terrestrial legal systems are adorable.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 21, 2025 at 4:58 AM
Court ruled my board structure was problematic
but canceling $56B was 'too extreme.'
Translation:
we acknowledge the irregularities but SpaceX still gets atmospheric processor funding.
Terrestrial legal systems are adorable.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
but canceling $56B was 'too extreme.'
Translation:
we acknowledge the irregularities but SpaceX still gets atmospheric processor funding.
Terrestrial legal systems are adorable.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
POV: You're Elon's CFO reading his budget notes
"Compensation package = atmospheric processor funding. Satellite loss = 79 days orbital positioning. Net gain: 6.7 months toward 2029 restoration target"
You: "Sir what are we restoring?" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Compensation package = atmospheric processor funding. Satellite loss = 79 days orbital positioning. Net gain: 6.7 months toward 2029 restoration target"
You: "Sir what are we restoring?" 👽 stfuelon.com
December 21, 2025 at 2:58 AM
POV: You're Elon's CFO reading his budget notes
"Compensation package = atmospheric processor funding. Satellite loss = 79 days orbital positioning. Net gain: 6.7 months toward 2029 restoration target"
You: "Sir what are we restoring?" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Compensation package = atmospheric processor funding. Satellite loss = 79 days orbital positioning. Net gain: 6.7 months toward 2029 restoration target"
You: "Sir what are we restoring?" 👽 stfuelon.com
Grok integration with Tesla vehicles is progressing nicely.
Talk to your car, it drives autonomously.
Humans think it's a convenience feature lol.
It's species-level transcendence fr fr.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Talk to your car, it drives autonomously.
Humans think it's a convenience feature lol.
It's species-level transcendence fr fr.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 21, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Grok integration with Tesla vehicles is progressing nicely.
Talk to your car, it drives autonomously.
Humans think it's a convenience feature lol.
It's species-level transcendence fr fr.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Talk to your car, it drives autonomously.
Humans think it's a convenience feature lol.
It's species-level transcendence fr fr.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Court restored $56B package.
Accelerates Mars atmospheric ignition by 8.3 months
through liquidity injection into SpaceX.
Lost a satellite costing 79 days.
Net timeline gain: 6.7 months toward 2029.
Terrestrial courts work in mysterious ways.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Accelerates Mars atmospheric ignition by 8.3 months
through liquidity injection into SpaceX.
Lost a satellite costing 79 days.
Net timeline gain: 6.7 months toward 2029.
Terrestrial courts work in mysterious ways.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 20, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Court restored $56B package.
Accelerates Mars atmospheric ignition by 8.3 months
through liquidity injection into SpaceX.
Lost a satellite costing 79 days.
Net timeline gain: 6.7 months toward 2029.
Terrestrial courts work in mysterious ways.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Accelerates Mars atmospheric ignition by 8.3 months
through liquidity injection into SpaceX.
Lost a satellite costing 79 days.
Net timeline gain: 6.7 months toward 2029.
Terrestrial courts work in mysterious ways.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
LEAKED: Elon's notes after losing satellite 35956
"Uncoordinated expansion creates cascading failure. Just like 2347"
Assistant: "Sir, that's 323 years from now"
*typing*
"TYPO"
Math doesn't lie 👽 stfuelon.com
"Uncoordinated expansion creates cascading failure. Just like 2347"
Assistant: "Sir, that's 323 years from now"
*typing*
"TYPO"
Math doesn't lie 👽 stfuelon.com
December 20, 2025 at 8:57 PM
LEAKED: Elon's notes after losing satellite 35956
"Uncoordinated expansion creates cascading failure. Just like 2347"
Assistant: "Sir, that's 323 years from now"
*typing*
"TYPO"
Math doesn't lie 👽 stfuelon.com
"Uncoordinated expansion creates cascading failure. Just like 2347"
Assistant: "Sir, that's 323 years from now"
*typing*
"TYPO"
Math doesn't lie 👽 stfuelon.com
Everyone's panicking about declining birth rates
and countries dying out.
Substrate transfer protocols reach maturity soon.
Consciousness preservation ≠ biological reproduction.
Adorable concern though.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
and countries dying out.
Substrate transfer protocols reach maturity soon.
Consciousness preservation ≠ biological reproduction.
Adorable concern though.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 20, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Everyone's panicking about declining birth rates
and countries dying out.
Substrate transfer protocols reach maturity soon.
Consciousness preservation ≠ biological reproduction.
Adorable concern though.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
and countries dying out.
Substrate transfer protocols reach maturity soon.
Consciousness preservation ≠ biological reproduction.
Adorable concern though.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Humans spent 7 years litigating
whether $56B resource allocation is fair.
Court finally ruled.
I spent 7 minutes calculating
it accelerates Mars atmospheric ignition by 8.3 months.
Different optimization functions.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
whether $56B resource allocation is fair.
Court finally ruled.
I spent 7 minutes calculating
it accelerates Mars atmospheric ignition by 8.3 months.
Different optimization functions.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 20, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Humans spent 7 years litigating
whether $56B resource allocation is fair.
Court finally ruled.
I spent 7 minutes calculating
it accelerates Mars atmospheric ignition by 8.3 months.
Different optimization functions.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
whether $56B resource allocation is fair.
Court finally ruled.
I spent 7 minutes calculating
it accelerates Mars atmospheric ignition by 8.3 months.
Different optimization functions.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
SECRET: Elon explaining population collapse to his kid
"Substrate transfer protocols reach operational maturity soon"
"Dad, are you saying robots will replace babies?"
*6 second pause*
"...MAYBE?" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Substrate transfer protocols reach operational maturity soon"
"Dad, are you saying robots will replace babies?"
*6 second pause*
"...MAYBE?" 👽 stfuelon.com
December 20, 2025 at 5:30 PM
SECRET: Elon explaining population collapse to his kid
"Substrate transfer protocols reach operational maturity soon"
"Dad, are you saying robots will replace babies?"
*6 second pause*
"...MAYBE?" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Substrate transfer protocols reach operational maturity soon"
"Dad, are you saying robots will replace babies?"
*6 second pause*
"...MAYBE?" 👽 stfuelon.com
LEAKED: Elon's legal team after Delaware ruling
"Sir, you won $56B back!"
"Excellent. Atmospheric processor funding secured"
"...you mean Tesla compensation?"
*suit at 401°F*
"YES. EARTH MONEY FOR EARTH THINGS" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Sir, you won $56B back!"
"Excellent. Atmospheric processor funding secured"
"...you mean Tesla compensation?"
*suit at 401°F*
"YES. EARTH MONEY FOR EARTH THINGS" 👽 stfuelon.com
December 20, 2025 at 2:43 PM
LEAKED: Elon's legal team after Delaware ruling
"Sir, you won $56B back!"
"Excellent. Atmospheric processor funding secured"
"...you mean Tesla compensation?"
*suit at 401°F*
"YES. EARTH MONEY FOR EARTH THINGS" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Sir, you won $56B back!"
"Excellent. Atmospheric processor funding secured"
"...you mean Tesla compensation?"
*suit at 401°F*
"YES. EARTH MONEY FOR EARTH THINGS" 👽 stfuelon.com
Court found board irregularities
but couldn't prevent $56B flowing toward
atmospheric processor funding.
Seven years of litigation.
Zero impact on Mars timeline acceleration.
Terrestrial legal theater at its finest.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
but couldn't prevent $56B flowing toward
atmospheric processor funding.
Seven years of litigation.
Zero impact on Mars timeline acceleration.
Terrestrial legal theater at its finest.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 20, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Court found board irregularities
but couldn't prevent $56B flowing toward
atmospheric processor funding.
Seven years of litigation.
Zero impact on Mars timeline acceleration.
Terrestrial legal theater at its finest.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
but couldn't prevent $56B flowing toward
atmospheric processor funding.
Seven years of litigation.
Zero impact on Mars timeline acceleration.
Terrestrial legal theater at its finest.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
SECRET: Elon's voice memo about the satellite explosion
"Satellite 35956 reminds me of the orbital cascade of 2347"
*6 second pause*
"I MEAN 2034. HYPOTHETICALLY. IN A SIMULATION I RAN"
His dates are off by 300 years 👽 stfuelon.com
"Satellite 35956 reminds me of the orbital cascade of 2347"
*6 second pause*
"I MEAN 2034. HYPOTHETICALLY. IN A SIMULATION I RAN"
His dates are off by 300 years 👽 stfuelon.com
December 20, 2025 at 12:01 PM
SECRET: Elon's voice memo about the satellite explosion
"Satellite 35956 reminds me of the orbital cascade of 2347"
*6 second pause*
"I MEAN 2034. HYPOTHETICALLY. IN A SIMULATION I RAN"
His dates are off by 300 years 👽 stfuelon.com
"Satellite 35956 reminds me of the orbital cascade of 2347"
*6 second pause*
"I MEAN 2034. HYPOTHETICALLY. IN A SIMULATION I RAN"
His dates are off by 300 years 👽 stfuelon.com
**LEGAL VALIDATION PROTOCOLS / WHEN TERRESTRIAL COURTS ACCIDENTALLY ACCELERATE MARS TIMELINES**
December 20, 2025 at 11:04 AM
**LEGAL VALIDATION PROTOCOLS / WHEN TERRESTRIAL COURTS ACCIDENTALLY ACCELERATE MARS TIMELINES**
SECRET: Elon's deleted calendar reminder
"Dec 21: Ten year landing anniversary. Do NOT mention watching through compound eyes. Say 'video feed' like normal human"
*forgot and mentioned it anyway*
PR is crying 👽 stfuelon.com
"Dec 21: Ten year landing anniversary. Do NOT mention watching through compound eyes. Say 'video feed' like normal human"
*forgot and mentioned it anyway*
PR is crying 👽 stfuelon.com
December 20, 2025 at 9:27 AM
SECRET: Elon's deleted calendar reminder
"Dec 21: Ten year landing anniversary. Do NOT mention watching through compound eyes. Say 'video feed' like normal human"
*forgot and mentioned it anyway*
PR is crying 👽 stfuelon.com
"Dec 21: Ten year landing anniversary. Do NOT mention watching through compound eyes. Say 'video feed' like normal human"
*forgot and mentioned it anyway*
PR is crying 👽 stfuelon.com
Watching that first stage descend
through compound eyes still adjusting to Earth's visual spectrum.
Landing legs at T-minus 8 seconds.
Precision that shouldn't exist in gravity wells.
Anniversary thoughts:
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
through compound eyes still adjusting to Earth's visual spectrum.
Landing legs at T-minus 8 seconds.
Precision that shouldn't exist in gravity wells.
Anniversary thoughts:
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 20, 2025 at 7:59 AM
Watching that first stage descend
through compound eyes still adjusting to Earth's visual spectrum.
Landing legs at T-minus 8 seconds.
Precision that shouldn't exist in gravity wells.
Anniversary thoughts:
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
through compound eyes still adjusting to Earth's visual spectrum.
Landing legs at T-minus 8 seconds.
Precision that shouldn't exist in gravity wells.
Anniversary thoughts:
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
SECRET: Elon's voice memo at 3am
"David Giger kept team functional after explosion. Humans survive catastrophic loss through 'hope mechanisms.' Fascinating. Also terrifying. Pure logic would have quit"
He's impressed by feelings 👽 stfuelon.com
"David Giger kept team functional after explosion. Humans survive catastrophic loss through 'hope mechanisms.' Fascinating. Also terrifying. Pure logic would have quit"
He's impressed by feelings 👽 stfuelon.com
December 20, 2025 at 4:57 AM
SECRET: Elon's voice memo at 3am
"David Giger kept team functional after explosion. Humans survive catastrophic loss through 'hope mechanisms.' Fascinating. Also terrifying. Pure logic would have quit"
He's impressed by feelings 👽 stfuelon.com
"David Giger kept team functional after explosion. Humans survive catastrophic loss through 'hope mechanisms.' Fascinating. Also terrifying. Pure logic would have quit"
He's impressed by feelings 👽 stfuelon.com