Shadows of Control
@shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social
Writer, researcher, and survivor championing the fight against coercive control and domestic abuse. Freedom begins with awareness. https://shadowsofcontrol.substack.com/
Some survivors stay not because they’re weak—but because they’re protecting their children from what would happen if they’re not around.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
November 30, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Some survivors stay not because they’re weak—but because they’re protecting their children from what would happen if they’re not around.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
Abusers don’t harm you 24/7. It’s the in-between kindness that keeps you hopeful, confused, and stuck.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
November 29, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Abusers don’t harm you 24/7. It’s the in-between kindness that keeps you hopeful, confused, and stuck.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
The hardest part isn’t what they said—it’s what you started believing. Undoing that damage takes time.
#AbuseRecovery
#AbuseRecovery
November 28, 2025 at 1:02 PM
The hardest part isn’t what they said—it’s what you started believing. Undoing that damage takes time.
#AbuseRecovery
#AbuseRecovery
It’s easier to judge the survivor than face how invisible and insidious abuse really is.
#VictimBlaming #DomesticAbuseAwareness
#VictimBlaming #DomesticAbuseAwareness
November 27, 2025 at 12:29 AM
It’s easier to judge the survivor than face how invisible and insidious abuse really is.
#VictimBlaming #DomesticAbuseAwareness
#VictimBlaming #DomesticAbuseAwareness
If you’re the only one bending, shrinking, and giving—it's not love. It’s control.
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl
November 26, 2025 at 1:02 PM
If you’re the only one bending, shrinking, and giving—it's not love. It’s control.
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl
Abusers mix cruelty with kindness, keeping you off-balance and hopeful. That’s not love—it’s manipulation.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
November 24, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Abusers mix cruelty with kindness, keeping you off-balance and hopeful. That’s not love—it’s manipulation.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
November 24, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Abuse often escalates in patterns. These are not random outbursts. They’re warning signs.
#RedFlags #DomesticViolence
#RedFlags #DomesticViolence
November 23, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Abuse often escalates in patterns. These are not random outbursts. They’re warning signs.
#RedFlags #DomesticViolence
#RedFlags #DomesticViolence
Leaving doesn’t always mean the abuse ends. It often just changes form.
#PostSeparationAbuse
#PostSeparationAbuse
November 22, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Leaving doesn’t always mean the abuse ends. It often just changes form.
#PostSeparationAbuse
#PostSeparationAbuse
Blame keeps survivors silent. Support opens the door to safety.
#SupportSurvivors
#SupportSurvivors
November 21, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Blame keeps survivors silent. Support opens the door to safety.
#SupportSurvivors
#SupportSurvivors
If it brings you joy, they’ll target it. Because joy is freedom.
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl
November 20, 2025 at 12:29 AM
If it brings you joy, they’ll target it. Because joy is freedom.
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl
After a while they don’t need to blame you—because they condition you to do it yourself.
#EmotionalAbuse
#EmotionalAbuse
November 19, 2025 at 1:02 PM
After a while they don’t need to blame you—because they condition you to do it yourself.
#EmotionalAbuse
#EmotionalAbuse
Shift the lens. Survivors didn’t choose to stay—they were trapped.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
November 17, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Shift the lens. Survivors didn’t choose to stay—they were trapped.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
One of the hardest parts of healing from abuse is learning to believe yourself again. Abusers train you to doubt your intuition—and reclaiming it is a radical act of self-trust.
#HealingJourney
#HealingJourney
November 17, 2025 at 12:29 AM
One of the hardest parts of healing from abuse is learning to believe yourself again. Abusers train you to doubt your intuition—and reclaiming it is a radical act of self-trust.
#HealingJourney
#HealingJourney
Self-blame fades when we understand survival strategies. You did what you needed to stay safe. That was never a failure.
#SelfCompassion #HealingJourney
#SelfCompassion #HealingJourney
November 16, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Self-blame fades when we understand survival strategies. You did what you needed to stay safe. That was never a failure.
#SelfCompassion #HealingJourney
#SelfCompassion #HealingJourney
You’re allowed to be loud. You’re allowed to be angry. Survival doesn’t mean shrinking yourself to make others comfortable.
#HealingJourney
#HealingJourney
November 15, 2025 at 12:30 AM
You’re allowed to be loud. You’re allowed to be angry. Survival doesn’t mean shrinking yourself to make others comfortable.
#HealingJourney
#HealingJourney
Survivors are often pressured to forgive before they've even processed the harm. Anger is not a failure—it's a vital part of healing.
#HealingJourney #TraumaRecovery
#HealingJourney #TraumaRecovery
November 14, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Survivors are often pressured to forgive before they've even processed the harm. Anger is not a failure—it's a vital part of healing.
#HealingJourney #TraumaRecovery
#HealingJourney #TraumaRecovery
November 13, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Anger is not the enemy. It’s a boundary signal. In abusive relationships, reclaiming your anger is reclaiming your power.
#TraumaHealing #SurvivorStrength
#TraumaHealing #SurvivorStrength
November 12, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Anger is not the enemy. It’s a boundary signal. In abusive relationships, reclaiming your anger is reclaiming your power.
#TraumaHealing #SurvivorStrength
#TraumaHealing #SurvivorStrength
Abuse teaches you to shrink. Healing teaches you to take up space again.
#HealingJourney
#HealingJourney
November 10, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Abuse teaches you to shrink. Healing teaches you to take up space again.
#HealingJourney
#HealingJourney
Coercive control robs survivors of autonomy. Leaving doesn’t instantly restore it—it takes time, courage, and rebuilding.
#CoerciveControl #HealingJourney
#CoerciveControl #HealingJourney
November 10, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Coercive control robs survivors of autonomy. Leaving doesn’t instantly restore it—it takes time, courage, and rebuilding.
#CoerciveControl #HealingJourney
#CoerciveControl #HealingJourney
You may have been controlled, but the power to reclaim your life still belongs to you.
#HealingJourney
#HealingJourney
November 9, 2025 at 1:02 PM
You may have been controlled, but the power to reclaim your life still belongs to you.
#HealingJourney
#HealingJourney
Abuse reshapes identity. Survivors often adapt just to stay safe—silencing themselves, shrinking down, losing who they once were.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
November 8, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Abuse reshapes identity. Survivors often adapt just to stay safe—silencing themselves, shrinking down, losing who they once were.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
Emotional and psychological abuse can strip away your sense of self long before physical violence is ever present.
#EmotionalAbuse #DomesticAbuseAwareness
#EmotionalAbuse #DomesticAbuseAwareness
November 7, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Emotional and psychological abuse can strip away your sense of self long before physical violence is ever present.
#EmotionalAbuse #DomesticAbuseAwareness
#EmotionalAbuse #DomesticAbuseAwareness
The good times are not proof it wasn’t abuse. They’re part of what keeps survivors stuck.
#traumabond #coercivecontrol
#traumabond #coercivecontrol
November 6, 2025 at 12:29 AM
The good times are not proof it wasn’t abuse. They’re part of what keeps survivors stuck.
#traumabond #coercivecontrol
#traumabond #coercivecontrol