Shadows of Control
@shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social
Writer, researcher, and survivor championing the fight against coercive control and domestic abuse. Freedom begins with awareness. https://shadowsofcontrol.substack.com/
My abusive ex just messaged to say I’m equally responsible for the harm he caused because I chose to marry him.
That’s kind of like saying you’re responsible for getting food poisoning because you chose the restaurant. 🤔
#DomesticAbuse #DomesticViolence
That’s kind of like saying you’re responsible for getting food poisoning because you chose the restaurant. 🤔
#DomesticAbuse #DomesticViolence
January 16, 2026 at 9:05 AM
My abusive ex just messaged to say I’m equally responsible for the harm he caused because I chose to marry him.
That’s kind of like saying you’re responsible for getting food poisoning because you chose the restaurant. 🤔
#DomesticAbuse #DomesticViolence
That’s kind of like saying you’re responsible for getting food poisoning because you chose the restaurant. 🤔
#DomesticAbuse #DomesticViolence
It was never about you not being “good enough.”
It was about control, blame, and keeping you small so they didn’t have to change.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
It was about control, blame, and keeping you small so they didn’t have to change.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
January 15, 2026 at 12:29 AM
It was never about you not being “good enough.”
It was about control, blame, and keeping you small so they didn’t have to change.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
It was about control, blame, and keeping you small so they didn’t have to change.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
Domestic abuse victims may be rich or poor, educated or uneducated, vulnerable or strong-willed, come from a happy home or a traumatic one. The one thing they all have in common is that they were abused because a skilled and highly manipulative abuser chose to target them. #DomesticAbuseAwareness
January 3, 2026 at 10:29 PM
Domestic abuse victims may be rich or poor, educated or uneducated, vulnerable or strong-willed, come from a happy home or a traumatic one. The one thing they all have in common is that they were abused because a skilled and highly manipulative abuser chose to target them. #DomesticAbuseAwareness
Financial abuse can trap victims in a relationship, leaving them powerless even after separation. From controlling access to money to sabotaging careers, these tactics destroy independence and confidence.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
Money as a Weapon: The Devastating Impact of Financial Abuse in Relationships
Financial abuse is a form of domestic violence where one partner exerts control over the other by manipulating financial resources.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.com
January 3, 2026 at 3:10 AM
Financial abuse can trap victims in a relationship, leaving them powerless even after separation. From controlling access to money to sabotaging careers, these tactics destroy independence and confidence.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
Many survivors stay because of the intermittent kindness. Hope can be a trap when used to mask cycles of abuse.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
January 3, 2026 at 12:30 AM
Many survivors stay because of the intermittent kindness. Hope can be a trap when used to mask cycles of abuse.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
You are not defined by how someone else treats you.
Your worth is inherent, and no amount of abuse or mistreatment can diminish it.
You are worthy of respect, kindness, and love. 💜
#SelfWorth #HealingJourney
Your worth is inherent, and no amount of abuse or mistreatment can diminish it.
You are worthy of respect, kindness, and love. 💜
#SelfWorth #HealingJourney
January 2, 2026 at 4:02 PM
You are not defined by how someone else treats you.
Your worth is inherent, and no amount of abuse or mistreatment can diminish it.
You are worthy of respect, kindness, and love. 💜
#SelfWorth #HealingJourney
Your worth is inherent, and no amount of abuse or mistreatment can diminish it.
You are worthy of respect, kindness, and love. 💜
#SelfWorth #HealingJourney
Survivors often carry guilt for not leaving sooner. But abuse is designed to confuse, isolate, and erode your instincts. You didn’t fail—you survived the best way you could. #DomesticAbuseAwareness
January 2, 2026 at 1:02 PM
Survivors often carry guilt for not leaving sooner. But abuse is designed to confuse, isolate, and erode your instincts. You didn’t fail—you survived the best way you could. #DomesticAbuseAwareness
Navigating a relationship filled with both declarations of love and abuse is a bewildering and heart-wrenching experience. Those ensnared in such dynamics often confront a deeply troubling question: Does my partner really love me? #ToxicLove
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Can an Abuser Ever Really Love You?
Explore the heartbreaking reality of love and abuse in relationships: the struggle to decipher true love amidst coercive control.
shadowsofcontrol.com
January 2, 2026 at 3:30 AM
Navigating a relationship filled with both declarations of love and abuse is a bewildering and heart-wrenching experience. Those ensnared in such dynamics often confront a deeply troubling question: Does my partner really love me? #ToxicLove
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Developing stronger self worth involves recognizing when you're being disrespected and walking away. 🚶♀️
January 1, 2026 at 10:29 PM
Developing stronger self worth involves recognizing when you're being disrespected and walking away. 🚶♀️
Trauma bonding is a complex and often misunderstood phenomenon, which occurs when a victim forms a strong emotional attachment to their abuser. It can keep a victim going back to an abusive relationship again and again. #TraumaBond
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Addicted to Love: Understanding Trauma Bonding in Emotionally Abusive Relationships
Understanding trauma bonding: Explore the complex dynamics of emotional attachment to an abuser and the cycles of abuse mixed with positive experiences.
shadowsofcontrol.com
January 1, 2026 at 8:02 PM
Trauma bonding is a complex and often misunderstood phenomenon, which occurs when a victim forms a strong emotional attachment to their abuser. It can keep a victim going back to an abusive relationship again and again. #TraumaBond
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Not everything is as it seems with a controlling abuser - even gestures, gifts, and generosity can come with a hidden agenda.
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse
January 1, 2026 at 12:29 AM
Not everything is as it seems with a controlling abuser - even gestures, gifts, and generosity can come with a hidden agenda.
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse
Angel Lynn, a once bubbly 18-year-old college student with dreams of being a forensic scientist, was brain damaged after being pushed from a moving van when she was kidnapped by her controlling boyfriend. This is her story. #CoerciveControl
shadowsofcontrol.com/storie...
shadowsofcontrol.com/storie...
Angel Lynn’s Harrowing Story Reveals Dangers of Coercive Control
Discover Angel Lynn's haunting story, as her bubbly spirit was overshadowed by a toxic relationship.
shadowsofcontrol.com
December 31, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Angel Lynn, a once bubbly 18-year-old college student with dreams of being a forensic scientist, was brain damaged after being pushed from a moving van when she was kidnapped by her controlling boyfriend. This is her story. #CoerciveControl
shadowsofcontrol.com/storie...
shadowsofcontrol.com/storie...
December 31, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Learn how to recognize the signs of verbal abuse and differentiate it from ordinary arguments in relationships. #VerbalAbuse
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Words That Wound: Distinguishing Verbal Abuse from Normal Arguments
Understanding verbal abuse: Learn how to recognize the signs and differentiate it from ordinary arguments in relationships.
shadowsofcontrol.com
December 31, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Learn how to recognize the signs of verbal abuse and differentiate it from ordinary arguments in relationships. #VerbalAbuse
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Not every argument or criticism means you’re in an abusive relationship—but repeated, demeaning, and controlling behavior can signal emotional abuse. Recognizing the patterns is the first step toward reclaiming your sense of self and setting boundaries.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
How To Tell If You Are Being Emotionally Abused
No relationship is perfect, and during stressful times, arguing, shouting, name-calling, and criticism can occur.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.com
December 30, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Not every argument or criticism means you’re in an abusive relationship—but repeated, demeaning, and controlling behavior can signal emotional abuse. Recognizing the patterns is the first step toward reclaiming your sense of self and setting boundaries.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
I don't believe any domestic abuse survivor should be asked the question, 'Why didn't you just leave?'. The question should always be to the abuser, 'Why don't you stop abusing them?' or 'How are you preventing them from leaving?'
December 30, 2025 at 4:02 PM
I don't believe any domestic abuse survivor should be asked the question, 'Why didn't you just leave?'. The question should always be to the abuser, 'Why don't you stop abusing them?' or 'How are you preventing them from leaving?'
After separation, abusers often try to sabotage the relationship between their partner and their children by badmouthing their partner or spreading lies. They might manipulate the children to take their side, causing emotional conflict and loyalty issues. 😪 #PostSeparationAbuse
December 29, 2025 at 10:30 PM
After separation, abusers often try to sabotage the relationship between their partner and their children by badmouthing their partner or spreading lies. They might manipulate the children to take their side, causing emotional conflict and loyalty issues. 😪 #PostSeparationAbuse
An abuser's parenting is all about meeting their own needs, rather than the child's needs.
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse
December 29, 2025 at 1:02 PM
An abuser's parenting is all about meeting their own needs, rather than the child's needs.
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse
Abusers try to tell you what you believe, what you think, and what your intentions are, as though they could possibly know what is inside your head.
#gaslighting #manipulation #emotionalabuse #coercivecontrol
#gaslighting #manipulation #emotionalabuse #coercivecontrol
December 29, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Abusers try to tell you what you believe, what you think, and what your intentions are, as though they could possibly know what is inside your head.
#gaslighting #manipulation #emotionalabuse #coercivecontrol
#gaslighting #manipulation #emotionalabuse #coercivecontrol
This Christmas, my thoughts are with all those navigating the holidays with an abusive partner. Your strength, courage, and resilience inspire me. Keep holding on to your joy, your truth, and your hope. 🧡 #YouAreNotAlone
December 28, 2025 at 10:31 PM
This Christmas, my thoughts are with all those navigating the holidays with an abusive partner. Your strength, courage, and resilience inspire me. Keep holding on to your joy, your truth, and your hope. 🧡 #YouAreNotAlone
Abusers isolate their partners as a tactic to exert control and dominance. #CoerciveControl
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Cut Off and Controlled: How Abusers Isolate Their Victims
Discover how abusers isolate victims as a tactic to exert control and dominance. Learn about the signs and effects of isolation in abusive relationships.
shadowsofcontrol.com
December 28, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Abusers isolate their partners as a tactic to exert control and dominance. #CoerciveControl
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
December 28, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Abusers often operate under a veil of excuses that they use to rationalize their behavior. Learn to recognize their manipulative tactics #DomesticAbuseAwareness
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
10 Common Excuses Abusers Give for Their Behavior
Unmasking the excuses in abusive relationships: Learn to recognize the manipulative tactics used by perpetrators to justify their actions.
shadowsofcontrol.com
December 28, 2025 at 3:31 AM
Abusers often operate under a veil of excuses that they use to rationalize their behavior. Learn to recognize their manipulative tactics #DomesticAbuseAwareness
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Abusers weaponize the holidays, but you can reclaim your joy. Focus on your children, connect with loved ones, enjoy quiet moments, and remind yourself: their chaos is not your fault. 💜
December 27, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Abusers weaponize the holidays, but you can reclaim your joy. Focus on your children, connect with loved ones, enjoy quiet moments, and remind yourself: their chaos is not your fault. 💜
Coercive control can be invisible, leaving victims unsure if they’re truly being abused. Even without physical violence, patterns of manipulation and domination cause profound harm.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
Is Coercive Control Illegal? Understanding Laws Against Controlling Behavior
Coercive control consists of behavior that abusers use to dominate and manipulate their partners.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.com
December 27, 2025 at 3:10 AM
Coercive control can be invisible, leaving victims unsure if they’re truly being abused. Even without physical violence, patterns of manipulation and domination cause profound harm.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...