Scott Clevenger
@scottclevenger.bsky.social
Author. Co-host of The Slumgullion podcast. Hypocritical screenwriter. I write mean but funny movie reviews at Better Living Through Bad Movies: https://clevenger.substack.com
REDHEAD: Is this to be our end? The last two members of the Prince Valiant Hair Club for Men, fighting against hopeless odds! But I WILL! NOT! YIELD! You'll get my blunt cut Pageboy when you scalp it from my cold dead head!
GRAYHAIR: This is why everyone else quit, Rick. You're too intense.
GRAYHAIR: This is why everyone else quit, Rick. You're too intense.
November 17, 2025 at 1:53 PM
REDHEAD: Is this to be our end? The last two members of the Prince Valiant Hair Club for Men, fighting against hopeless odds! But I WILL! NOT! YIELD! You'll get my blunt cut Pageboy when you scalp it from my cold dead head!
GRAYHAIR: This is why everyone else quit, Rick. You're too intense.
GRAYHAIR: This is why everyone else quit, Rick. You're too intense.
It was just another day at the office for...
TRIXIE DIXON, METAPHYSICAL PROCESS SERVER!
TRIXIE DIXON, METAPHYSICAL PROCESS SERVER!
November 17, 2025 at 1:54 AM
It was just another day at the office for...
TRIXIE DIXON, METAPHYSICAL PROCESS SERVER!
TRIXIE DIXON, METAPHYSICAL PROCESS SERVER!
New Slumgullion! This week, while waiting for their guest Godot to show up, Jeff and Scott fall into a discussion about James Gunn's recent film Superman, and why it's basically a comic book bought off a squeaky wire rack in a drug store in 1954.📽
slumgullionpodcast.blogspot.com/2025/11/epis...
slumgullionpodcast.blogspot.com/2025/11/epis...
Episode 116: Silver Age Superman in 2025
While waiting for their guest Godot to show up, Jeff and Scott trip and fall into a discussion about James Gunn's recent film Superman , and...
slumgullionpodcast.blogspot.com
November 16, 2025 at 9:07 PM
New Slumgullion! This week, while waiting for their guest Godot to show up, Jeff and Scott fall into a discussion about James Gunn's recent film Superman, and why it's basically a comic book bought off a squeaky wire rack in a drug store in 1954.📽
slumgullionpodcast.blogspot.com/2025/11/epis...
slumgullionpodcast.blogspot.com/2025/11/epis...
Same as I did with veal, I stopped eating lobster bisque once I found out how they harvest it.
November 16, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Same as I did with veal, I stopped eating lobster bisque once I found out how they harvest it.
KAREN: What the--? YOU'RE not the Angel of Death?
MARK: No, I'm Mark, of Death, Inc. Heaven privatized its soul harvesting operations.
KAREN: Well you're not supposed to KILL me! You wait until I die naturally, then collect my soul.
MARK: Yeah but see, I work on commission…
MARK: No, I'm Mark, of Death, Inc. Heaven privatized its soul harvesting operations.
KAREN: Well you're not supposed to KILL me! You wait until I die naturally, then collect my soul.
MARK: Yeah but see, I work on commission…
November 15, 2025 at 6:00 PM
KAREN: What the--? YOU'RE not the Angel of Death?
MARK: No, I'm Mark, of Death, Inc. Heaven privatized its soul harvesting operations.
KAREN: Well you're not supposed to KILL me! You wait until I die naturally, then collect my soul.
MARK: Yeah but see, I work on commission…
MARK: No, I'm Mark, of Death, Inc. Heaven privatized its soul harvesting operations.
KAREN: Well you're not supposed to KILL me! You wait until I die naturally, then collect my soul.
MARK: Yeah but see, I work on commission…
Just found an old note to myself complaining about the prevalence of Roy Rogers restaurants on the New Jersey Turnpike: "They shouldn’t encourage drunk driving by placing food you’d only eat while drunk in a place you can only reach by driving."
November 15, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Just found an old note to myself complaining about the prevalence of Roy Rogers restaurants on the New Jersey Turnpike: "They shouldn’t encourage drunk driving by placing food you’d only eat while drunk in a place you can only reach by driving."
I overdid it one Halloween and got a bad case of the Cocoanut Quivers, so I avoid those nowadays. Also the Trumps, on general principle. But my Fruit Tinglers bring all the clowns to the yard.
November 14, 2025 at 6:23 PM
I overdid it one Halloween and got a bad case of the Cocoanut Quivers, so I avoid those nowadays. Also the Trumps, on general principle. But my Fruit Tinglers bring all the clowns to the yard.
As New Rome burned, Emperor Neo-Nero merely laughed and strummed his acoustic girltar.
November 13, 2025 at 4:54 PM
As New Rome burned, Emperor Neo-Nero merely laughed and strummed his acoustic girltar.
I’m trying to get a grip on all these dietary laws before the holidays are upon us, but I’m finding so many potential loopholes! to begin with, I get that you can't serve a kid boiled in its mother's milk, although you CAN serve squid in its own ink. But can you serve squid in it's MOTHER'S ink?
November 13, 2025 at 12:51 AM
I’m trying to get a grip on all these dietary laws before the holidays are upon us, but I’m finding so many potential loopholes! to begin with, I get that you can't serve a kid boiled in its mother's milk, although you CAN serve squid in its own ink. But can you serve squid in it's MOTHER'S ink?
She was the most completely mediocre person who ever lived!
November 12, 2025 at 1:00 PM
She was the most completely mediocre person who ever lived!
CRIME CRUSHER: Oh no, it's the Scarlet Unitard! Don't bother aiming for the head, Bob, his longjohns are bulletproof! Our only hope is to sneakily unbutton the flap in back and shoot him in the ass--like Achilles, it's his one weakness!
November 11, 2025 at 9:40 PM
CRIME CRUSHER: Oh no, it's the Scarlet Unitard! Don't bother aiming for the head, Bob, his longjohns are bulletproof! Our only hope is to sneakily unbutton the flap in back and shoot him in the ass--like Achilles, it's his one weakness!
Using Dorothy as a human shield had worked perfectly.
"Thanks for the brain," the Scarecrow smirked, as the Wizard's bullet-riddled body hit the floor. "Too bad it's a psychopathic brain...a brain filled with thoughts of such pure and transcendent evil your tiny mind could never comprehend them!"
"Thanks for the brain," the Scarecrow smirked, as the Wizard's bullet-riddled body hit the floor. "Too bad it's a psychopathic brain...a brain filled with thoughts of such pure and transcendent evil your tiny mind could never comprehend them!"
November 11, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Using Dorothy as a human shield had worked perfectly.
"Thanks for the brain," the Scarecrow smirked, as the Wizard's bullet-riddled body hit the floor. "Too bad it's a psychopathic brain...a brain filled with thoughts of such pure and transcendent evil your tiny mind could never comprehend them!"
"Thanks for the brain," the Scarecrow smirked, as the Wizard's bullet-riddled body hit the floor. "Too bad it's a psychopathic brain...a brain filled with thoughts of such pure and transcendent evil your tiny mind could never comprehend them!"
HIM: Uh, honey?
HER: Frank? What the--I told you never to call me at work!
HIM: Sorry, I just--
HER: This better me an EMERGENCY!
HIM: Uh...
HER: WELL??
HIM: ...how long do you leave in a baked potato?
HER: Frank? What the--I told you never to call me at work!
HIM: Sorry, I just--
HER: This better me an EMERGENCY!
HIM: Uh...
HER: WELL??
HIM: ...how long do you leave in a baked potato?
November 10, 2025 at 5:17 PM
HIM: Uh, honey?
HER: Frank? What the--I told you never to call me at work!
HIM: Sorry, I just--
HER: This better me an EMERGENCY!
HIM: Uh...
HER: WELL??
HIM: ...how long do you leave in a baked potato?
HER: Frank? What the--I told you never to call me at work!
HIM: Sorry, I just--
HER: This better me an EMERGENCY!
HIM: Uh...
HER: WELL??
HIM: ...how long do you leave in a baked potato?
A grown up Nancy Drew, feeling nostalgic for the days of Old Clocks and Hidden Staircases, decides to solve the Secret of The Second Door! (Spoiler alert: turns out it was just a euphemism for anal sex.)
November 9, 2025 at 6:29 PM
A grown up Nancy Drew, feeling nostalgic for the days of Old Clocks and Hidden Staircases, decides to solve the Secret of The Second Door! (Spoiler alert: turns out it was just a euphemism for anal sex.)
Reposted by Scott Clevenger
Kinda hilarious that the party with all the holy-roller evangelicals is spitting in the face of God.
“Federal authorities told demonstrators Friday that there would be ‘no more prayer’ in front of or inside the Broadview ICE facility, in a move that mystified local leaders and raised legal questions.” blockclubchicago.org/2025/11/07/f...
Feds Tell Faith Leaders 'No More Prayer' Outside Broadview Facility
In a possible violation of the First Amendment, federal officials instructed demonstrators to stop holding religious gatherings outside the immigration processing facility in suburban Broadview after ...
blockclubchicago.org
November 8, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Kinda hilarious that the party with all the holy-roller evangelicals is spitting in the face of God.
I...
I just...
I have no comment.
I just...
I have no comment.
November 8, 2025 at 5:55 PM
I...
I just...
I have no comment.
I just...
I have no comment.
"Alright fellas, let's all remain calm, now. Nobody shoot. I think what's happened is, we got ourselves stuck in a Spider-Man meme..."
November 7, 2025 at 4:42 PM
"Alright fellas, let's all remain calm, now. Nobody shoot. I think what's happened is, we got ourselves stuck in a Spider-Man meme..."
HIM: ZZZzzzzSNORT! Huh? What the...? Oh for cripes sake! First I sleep-eat all the Space Food Sticks in the galley, now I'm sleep-spacewalking? I swear I'm never taking Ambien again!
WIFE: Sweetheart? Come back to bed…
HIM: One sec, Hun. I seem to be explosively decompressing...
WIFE: Sweetheart? Come back to bed…
HIM: One sec, Hun. I seem to be explosively decompressing...
November 7, 2025 at 12:17 AM
HIM: ZZZzzzzSNORT! Huh? What the...? Oh for cripes sake! First I sleep-eat all the Space Food Sticks in the galley, now I'm sleep-spacewalking? I swear I'm never taking Ambien again!
WIFE: Sweetheart? Come back to bed…
HIM: One sec, Hun. I seem to be explosively decompressing...
WIFE: Sweetheart? Come back to bed…
HIM: One sec, Hun. I seem to be explosively decompressing...
DOCTOR: I’m afraid I have some bad news for you, Jimmy. I’ve consulted with Dr. Jennings here, and he agrees with my diagnosis…It appears you have water on the brain.
JIMMY: Shucks!
DOCTOR: Also, the Make A Wish Foundation turned down your request for a blow dryer.
JIMMY: Shucks!
DOCTOR: Also, the Make A Wish Foundation turned down your request for a blow dryer.
November 6, 2025 at 5:05 PM
DOCTOR: I’m afraid I have some bad news for you, Jimmy. I’ve consulted with Dr. Jennings here, and he agrees with my diagnosis…It appears you have water on the brain.
JIMMY: Shucks!
DOCTOR: Also, the Make A Wish Foundation turned down your request for a blow dryer.
JIMMY: Shucks!
DOCTOR: Also, the Make A Wish Foundation turned down your request for a blow dryer.
HER: Hang on, Rajah! My Singing Whip is home with laryngitis, but my Yodeling Dagger will deal with this villain!
VILLAIN: Foiled! Curses! And I wanted to give him a taste of my A Cappella Mortadella!
HER: What?
VILLAIN: What?
VILLAIN: Foiled! Curses! And I wanted to give him a taste of my A Cappella Mortadella!
HER: What?
VILLAIN: What?
November 6, 2025 at 2:55 AM
HER: Hang on, Rajah! My Singing Whip is home with laryngitis, but my Yodeling Dagger will deal with this villain!
VILLAIN: Foiled! Curses! And I wanted to give him a taste of my A Cappella Mortadella!
HER: What?
VILLAIN: What?
VILLAIN: Foiled! Curses! And I wanted to give him a taste of my A Cappella Mortadella!
HER: What?
VILLAIN: What?
I once thought I'd left that life behind, but there's no getting around it: you can leave McDonaldland, but it never really leaves you. Even now, whenever someone wonders aloud, "Whatever happened to Ronald McDonald?" I can't help remembering the last time I saw him...
November 5, 2025 at 2:34 PM
I once thought I'd left that life behind, but there's no getting around it: you can leave McDonaldland, but it never really leaves you. Even now, whenever someone wonders aloud, "Whatever happened to Ronald McDonald?" I can't help remembering the last time I saw him...
HER: Don't bother trying to cover up the evidence, Frank. I know you've been cheating on me with Lionel Richie.
November 4, 2025 at 4:33 PM
HER: Don't bother trying to cover up the evidence, Frank. I know you've been cheating on me with Lionel Richie.
HER: Take...THIS!
HIM: NOOO! Here I am, on the verge of my greatest triumph, yet FOILED by a...um...Hey lady? It's called "underpants". Look into it.
HER: I forgot to do laundry. Still, I beat YOU!
HIM: Yeah? Well...Maybe I'm not gonna rule the world, but YOU'RE not a natural blonde!
HIM: NOOO! Here I am, on the verge of my greatest triumph, yet FOILED by a...um...Hey lady? It's called "underpants". Look into it.
HER: I forgot to do laundry. Still, I beat YOU!
HIM: Yeah? Well...Maybe I'm not gonna rule the world, but YOU'RE not a natural blonde!
November 3, 2025 at 4:30 PM
HER: Take...THIS!
HIM: NOOO! Here I am, on the verge of my greatest triumph, yet FOILED by a...um...Hey lady? It's called "underpants". Look into it.
HER: I forgot to do laundry. Still, I beat YOU!
HIM: Yeah? Well...Maybe I'm not gonna rule the world, but YOU'RE not a natural blonde!
HIM: NOOO! Here I am, on the verge of my greatest triumph, yet FOILED by a...um...Hey lady? It's called "underpants". Look into it.
HER: I forgot to do laundry. Still, I beat YOU!
HIM: Yeah? Well...Maybe I'm not gonna rule the world, but YOU'RE not a natural blonde!
Coming this Fall! Its Nipples and Pustules--they're cops! Watch them in CSI: Monster Island! Wednesdays at 10, 9 Central, on most of these CBS stations.
November 2, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Coming this Fall! Its Nipples and Pustules--they're cops! Watch them in CSI: Monster Island! Wednesdays at 10, 9 Central, on most of these CBS stations.