Me: (just standing on the playground, minding my own business, wearing a new plaid wool coat)
5-year-old: You look like a Florida person.
(And, no. I have no idea what that implies in this context.)
Me: (just standing on the playground, minding my own business, wearing a new plaid wool coat)
5-year-old: You look like a Florida person.
(And, no. I have no idea what that implies in this context.)
Me (to 3-year-old): Did you get any fun candy for Halloween?
3-year-old: I got some Milk Duds.
Me: Did you like them?
3-year-old: Well… (thoughtful pause) They aren’t as crunchy as carrots.
Me (to 3-year-old): Did you get any fun candy for Halloween?
3-year-old: I got some Milk Duds.
Me: Did you like them?
3-year-old: Well… (thoughtful pause) They aren’t as crunchy as carrots.
Three-year-old (upon seeing a butternut squash in our collection of seasonal gourds): Open, Mr. Squash. Open, Mr. Squash. Open, Mr. Squash.
(After follow-up questions, the child was demanding the squash open the back door to the classroom. Why? No idea.)
Three-year-old (upon seeing a butternut squash in our collection of seasonal gourds): Open, Mr. Squash. Open, Mr. Squash. Open, Mr. Squash.
(After follow-up questions, the child was demanding the squash open the back door to the classroom. Why? No idea.)
Me (to 4-year-old): What were you working on?
4-year-old: (pauses for a bit; lets out a big hiccup) I have hiccups so I forgot.
Me (to 4-year-old): What were you working on?
4-year-old: (pauses for a bit; lets out a big hiccup) I have hiccups so I forgot.
Yup, I may have peaked as a human being last night.
Yup, I may have peaked as a human being last night.
3-year-old: I’m going swimming tonight.
Me: Are you swimming with your mom or dad?
3-year-old: No. Old people can’t swim.
3-year-old: I’m going swimming tonight.
Me: Are you swimming with your mom or dad?
3-year-old: No. Old people can’t swim.
3-year-old: I have a baby named XXXX at home.
Me: That’s wonderful. Is there anything else you want to tell me about XXXX?
3-year-old: She only eats boobie milk.
3-year-old: I have a baby named XXXX at home.
Me: That’s wonderful. Is there anything else you want to tell me about XXXX?
3-year-old: She only eats boobie milk.
Student: I think you’re sensational.
Me: Thank you very much.
Student: What does sensational mean?
Student: I think you’re sensational.
Me: Thank you very much.
Student: What does sensational mean?
3-year-old: Do you have itchy teeth?
Me: No.
3-year-old: Yes, you do. And you have a baby in your tummy.
3-year-old: Do you have itchy teeth?
Me: No.
3-year-old: Yes, you do. And you have a baby in your tummy.
by most liberal pundits
by most liberal pundits
Well, I’m watching the 2019 version of Cats because… it and I both exist, why shouldn’t we become one tonight.
Well, I’m watching the 2019 version of Cats because… it and I both exist, why shouldn’t we become one tonight.
Me: Some examples of liquids are water or milk or coffee…
4-year-old: Or bourbon!
Me: Some examples of liquids are water or milk or coffee…
4-year-old: Or bourbon!
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— Frank Herbert
— Frank Herbert