The Phantom Tollbooth Quotes
@phantomtollbot.bsky.social
Words and numbers are of equal value, for, in the cloak of knowledge, one is warp and the other woof. It is no more important to count the sands than it is to name the stars.
—
To read all its wit and wisdom, get a copy from a local bookstore or library.
—
To read all its wit and wisdom, get a copy from a local bookstore or library.
The Spelling Bee buzzed dangerously in and out of range of the Humbug’s wildly swinging cane as they menaced and threatened each other, and the crowd stepped back out of danger.
November 10, 2025 at 8:01 PM
The Spelling Bee buzzed dangerously in and out of range of the Humbug’s wildly swinging cane as they menaced and threatened each other, and the crowd stepped back out of danger.
“A slavish concern for the composition of words is the sign of a bankrupt intellect,” roared the Humbug, waving his cane furiously.
November 10, 2025 at 5:08 PM
“A slavish concern for the composition of words is the sign of a bankrupt intellect,” roared the Humbug, waving his cane furiously.
“BAH!” said the bug, putting an arm around Milo. “As soon as you learn to spell one word, they ask you to spell another. You can never catch up—so why bother? Take my advice, my boy, and forget about it. As my great-great-great-grandfather George Washington Humbug used to say——”
November 10, 2025 at 2:05 PM
“BAH!” said the bug, putting an arm around Milo. “As soon as you learn to spell one word, they ask you to spell another. You can never catch up—so why bother? Take my advice, my boy, and forget about it. As my great-great-great-grandfather George Washington Humbug used to say——”
“This,” said the bee with complete disdain, “is the Humbug. A very dislikable fellow.”
“NONSENSE! Everyone loves a Humbug,” shouted the Humbug.
“NONSENSE! Everyone loves a Humbug,” shouted the Humbug.
November 9, 2025 at 11:01 PM
“This,” said the bee with complete disdain, “is the Humbug. A very dislikable fellow.”
“NONSENSE! Everyone loves a Humbug,” shouted the Humbug.
“NONSENSE! Everyone loves a Humbug,” shouted the Humbug.
“You see, years ago I was just an ordinary bee minding my own business, smelling flowers all day, and occasionally picking up part-time work in people’s bonnets. Then one day I realized that I’d never amount to anything without an education and, being naturally adept at spelling, I decided that——”
November 9, 2025 at 8:01 PM
“You see, years ago I was just an ordinary bee minding my own business, smelling flowers all day, and occasionally picking up part-time work in people’s bonnets. Then one day I realized that I’d never amount to anything without an education and, being naturally adept at spelling, I decided that——”
“I am the Spelling Bee,” announced the Spelling Bee. “Don’t be alarmed—a-l-a-r-m-e-d.”
Milo, who was not overly fond of normal-sized bees, began to back away slowly.
“I can spell anything—a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g,” he boasted, testing his wings. “Try me, try me!”
“Can you spell ‘good-by’?”
Milo, who was not overly fond of normal-sized bees, began to back away slowly.
“I can spell anything—a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g,” he boasted, testing his wings. “Try me, try me!”
“Can you spell ‘good-by’?”
November 9, 2025 at 5:02 PM
“I am the Spelling Bee,” announced the Spelling Bee. “Don’t be alarmed—a-l-a-r-m-e-d.”
Milo, who was not overly fond of normal-sized bees, began to back away slowly.
“I can spell anything—a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g,” he boasted, testing his wings. “Try me, try me!”
“Can you spell ‘good-by’?”
Milo, who was not overly fond of normal-sized bees, began to back away slowly.
“I can spell anything—a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g,” he boasted, testing his wings. “Try me, try me!”
“Can you spell ‘good-by’?”
“Most people are just too lazy to make their own words,” he continued, “but it’s much more fun.”
“Is it difficult? I’m not much good at making words,” admitted Milo, spitting the pits from a P.
“Is it difficult? I’m not much good at making words,” admitted Milo, spitting the pits from a P.
November 9, 2025 at 2:01 PM
“Most people are just too lazy to make their own words,” he continued, “but it’s much more fun.”
“Is it difficult? I’m not much good at making words,” admitted Milo, spitting the pits from a P.
“Is it difficult? I’m not much good at making words,” admitted Milo, spitting the pits from a P.
“A’s are one of our most popular letters. All of them aren’t that good” he confided in a low voice. “Take the Z, for instance—very dry and sawdusty. And the X? Why, it tastes like a trunkful of stale air. That’s why people hardly ever use them. But most of the others are quite tasty. Try some more.”
November 8, 2025 at 11:00 PM
“A’s are one of our most popular letters. All of them aren’t that good” he confided in a low voice. “Take the Z, for instance—very dry and sawdusty. And the X? Why, it tastes like a trunkful of stale air. That’s why people hardly ever use them. But most of the others are quite tasty. Try some more.”
“You can pick any assortment you like or buy a special box complete with all letters, punctuation marks, and a book of instructions. Here, taste an A; they’re very good.” Milo nibbled carefully at the letter and discovered that it was quite sweet and delicious—just the way you’d expect an A to taste
November 8, 2025 at 8:02 PM
“You can pick any assortment you like or buy a special box complete with all letters, punctuation marks, and a book of instructions. Here, taste an A; they’re very good.” Milo nibbled carefully at the letter and discovered that it was quite sweet and delicious—just the way you’d expect an A to taste
“Maybe if I buy some I can learn how to use them,” said Milo eagerly as he began to pick through the words in the stall. Finally he chose three which looked particularly good to him—“quagmire,” “flabbergast,” and “upholstery.” He had no idea what they meant, but they looked very grand and elegant.
November 8, 2025 at 5:02 PM
“Maybe if I buy some I can learn how to use them,” said Milo eagerly as he began to pick through the words in the stall. Finally he chose three which looked particularly good to him—“quagmire,” “flabbergast,” and “upholstery.” He had no idea what they meant, but they looked very grand and elegant.
“Step right up, step right up—fancy, best-quality words right here,” announced one man in a booming voice. “Step right up—ah, what can I do for you, little boy? How about a nice bagful of pronouns—or maybe you’d like our special assortment of names?”
November 8, 2025 at 2:02 PM
“Step right up, step right up—fancy, best-quality words right here,” announced one man in a booming voice. “Step right up—ah, what can I do for you, little boy? How about a nice bagful of pronouns—or maybe you’d like our special assortment of names?”
But above all the noise and tumult of the crowd could be heard the merchants’ voices loudly advertising their products.
“Get your fresh-picked ifs, ands, and buts.”
“Hey-yaa, hey-yaa, hey-yaa, nice ripe wheres and whens.”
“Juicy, tempting words for sale.”
“Get your fresh-picked ifs, ands, and buts.”
“Hey-yaa, hey-yaa, hey-yaa, nice ripe wheres and whens.”
“Juicy, tempting words for sale.”
November 7, 2025 at 11:01 PM
But above all the noise and tumult of the crowd could be heard the merchants’ voices loudly advertising their products.
“Get your fresh-picked ifs, ands, and buts.”
“Hey-yaa, hey-yaa, hey-yaa, nice ripe wheres and whens.”
“Juicy, tempting words for sale.”
“Get your fresh-picked ifs, ands, and buts.”
“Hey-yaa, hey-yaa, hey-yaa, nice ripe wheres and whens.”
“Juicy, tempting words for sale.”
“I never knew words could be so confusing,” Milo said to Tock as he bent down to scratch the dog’s ear.
“Only when you use a lot to say a little,” answered Tock.
Milo thought this was quite the wisest thing he’d heard all day.
“Only when you use a lot to say a little,” answered Tock.
Milo thought this was quite the wisest thing he’d heard all day.
November 7, 2025 at 8:02 PM
“I never knew words could be so confusing,” Milo said to Tock as he bent down to scratch the dog’s ear.
“Only when you use a lot to say a little,” answered Tock.
Milo thought this was quite the wisest thing he’d heard all day.
“Only when you use a lot to say a little,” answered Tock.
Milo thought this was quite the wisest thing he’d heard all day.
“You see,” cautioned the count, “you must pick your words very carefully and be sure to say just what you intend to say.”
November 7, 2025 at 5:07 PM
“You see,” cautioned the count, “you must pick your words very carefully and be sure to say just what you intend to say.”
“But we never choose which ones to use,” explained the earl as they walked toward the market stalls, “for as long as they mean what they mean to mean we don’t care if they make sense or nonsense.”
“Innocence or magnificence,” added the count.
“Reticence or common sense,” said the undersecretary.
“Innocence or magnificence,” added the count.
“Reticence or common sense,” said the undersecretary.
November 7, 2025 at 2:03 PM
“But we never choose which ones to use,” explained the earl as they walked toward the market stalls, “for as long as they mean what they mean to mean we don’t care if they make sense or nonsense.”
“Innocence or magnificence,” added the count.
“Reticence or common sense,” said the undersecretary.
“Innocence or magnificence,” added the count.
“Reticence or common sense,” said the undersecretary.
Reposted by The Phantom Tollbooth Quotes
I re-read the Phantom Tollbooth and while it is still just as charming as I remember, I think the most poignant thing I got out of it was an afterword from a woman raised in the Soviet Union who had Much to Say about the power of those allegories in that place and time and in a children's novel.
November 7, 2025 at 3:27 AM
I re-read the Phantom Tollbooth and while it is still just as charming as I remember, I think the most poignant thing I got out of it was an afterword from a woman raised in the Soviet Union who had Much to Say about the power of those allegories in that place and time and in a children's novel.
“Our job,” said the count, “is to see that all the words sold are proper ones, for it wouldn’t do to sell someone a word that had no meaning or didn’t exist at all. For instance, if you bought a word like ghlbtsk, where would you use it?”
November 6, 2025 at 11:01 PM
“Our job,” said the count, “is to see that all the words sold are proper ones, for it wouldn’t do to sell someone a word that had no meaning or didn’t exist at all. For instance, if you bought a word like ghlbtsk, where would you use it?”
“You see,” continued the minister, bowing thankfully to the duke, “Dictionopolis is the place where all the words in the world come from. They’re grown right here in our orchards.”
“I didn’t know that words grew on trees,” said Milo timidly.
“I didn’t know that words grew on trees,” said Milo timidly.
November 6, 2025 at 8:03 PM
“You see,” continued the minister, bowing thankfully to the duke, “Dictionopolis is the place where all the words in the world come from. They’re grown right here in our orchards.”
“I didn’t know that words grew on trees,” said Milo timidly.
“I didn’t know that words grew on trees,” said Milo timidly.
“Obviously you don’t know who we are,” sneered the fifth. And they presented themselves one by one as:
“The Duke of Definition.”
“The Minister of Meaning.”
“The Earl of Essence.”
“The Count of Connotation.”
“The Undersecretary of Understanding.”
“The Duke of Definition.”
“The Minister of Meaning.”
“The Earl of Essence.”
“The Count of Connotation.”
“The Undersecretary of Understanding.”
November 6, 2025 at 5:03 PM
“Obviously you don’t know who we are,” sneered the fifth. And they presented themselves one by one as:
“The Duke of Definition.”
“The Minister of Meaning.”
“The Earl of Essence.”
“The Count of Connotation.”
“The Undersecretary of Understanding.”
“The Duke of Definition.”
“The Minister of Meaning.”
“The Earl of Essence.”
“The Count of Connotation.”
“The Undersecretary of Understanding.”
“Besides,” explained the second, “one word is as good as another—so why not use them all?”
“Then you don’t have to choose which one is right,” advised the third.
“Besides,” sighed the fourth, “if one is right, then ten are ten times as right.”
“Then you don’t have to choose which one is right,” advised the third.
“Besides,” sighed the fourth, “if one is right, then ten are ten times as right.”
November 6, 2025 at 2:03 PM
“Besides,” explained the second, “one word is as good as another—so why not use them all?”
“Then you don’t have to choose which one is right,” advised the third.
“Besides,” sighed the fourth, “if one is right, then ten are ten times as right.”
“Then you don’t have to choose which one is right,” advised the third.
“Besides,” sighed the fourth, “if one is right, then ten are ten times as right.”
Five very tall, thin gentlemen regally dressed in silks and satins, plumed hats, and buckled shoes rushed up to the car, stopped short, mopped five brows, caught five breaths, unrolled five parchments, and began talking in turn.
“Greetings!”
“Salutations!”
“Welcome!”
“Good afternoon!”
“Hello!”
“Greetings!”
“Salutations!”
“Welcome!”
“Good afternoon!”
“Hello!”
November 5, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Five very tall, thin gentlemen regally dressed in silks and satins, plumed hats, and buckled shoes rushed up to the car, stopped short, mopped five brows, caught five breaths, unrolled five parchments, and began talking in turn.
“Greetings!”
“Salutations!”
“Welcome!”
“Good afternoon!”
“Hello!”
“Greetings!”
“Salutations!”
“Welcome!”
“Good afternoon!”
“Hello!”
“No…no…no…this won’t do…no…h-m-m-m…ah, this is fine,” he cried triumphantly, holding up a small medallion on a chain. He dusted it off, and engraved on one side were the words “WHY NOT?”
“That’s a good reason for almost anything—a bit used perhaps, but still quite serviceable.”
“That’s a good reason for almost anything—a bit used perhaps, but still quite serviceable.”
November 5, 2025 at 8:01 PM
“No…no…no…this won’t do…no…h-m-m-m…ah, this is fine,” he cried triumphantly, holding up a small medallion on a chain. He dusted it off, and engraved on one side were the words “WHY NOT?”
“That’s a good reason for almost anything—a bit used perhaps, but still quite serviceable.”
“That’s a good reason for almost anything—a bit used perhaps, but still quite serviceable.”
“A-H-H-H-R-R-E-M-M,” roared the gateman, clearing his throat and snapping smartly to attention. “This is Dictionopolis, a happy kingdom, advantageously located in the Foothills of Confusion and caressed by gentle breezes from the Sea of Knowledge.”
November 5, 2025 at 5:04 PM
“A-H-H-H-R-R-E-M-M,” roared the gateman, clearing his throat and snapping smartly to attention. “This is Dictionopolis, a happy kingdom, advantageously located in the Foothills of Confusion and caressed by gentle breezes from the Sea of Knowledge.”
Before long they saw in the distance the towers and flags of Dictionopolis sparkling in the sunshine, and in a few moments they reached the great wall and stood at the gateway to the city.
November 5, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Before long they saw in the distance the towers and flags of Dictionopolis sparkling in the sunshine, and in a few moments they reached the great wall and stood at the gateway to the city.
“‘If there’s so much of it, it couldn’t be very valuable,’ was the general opinion, and it soon fell into disrepute. People wasted it and even gave it away. Then we were given the job of seeing that no one wasted time again,” he said, sitting up proudly.
November 4, 2025 at 11:01 PM
“‘If there’s so much of it, it couldn’t be very valuable,’ was the general opinion, and it soon fell into disrepute. People wasted it and even gave it away. Then we were given the job of seeing that no one wasted time again,” he said, sitting up proudly.