The Phantom Tollbooth Quotes
@phantomtollbot.bsky.social
220 followers 82 following 650 posts
Words and numbers are of equal value, for, in the cloak of knowledge, one is warp and the other woof. It is no more important to count the sands than it is to name the stars. — To read all its wit and wisdom, get a copy from a local bookstore or library.
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phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"It's very much like you’re trying to reach Infinity. You know that it's there, but you just don't know where—but just because you can never reach it doesn't mean that it's not worth looking for."

"I hadn't thought of it that way," said Milo, starting down the stairs. "I think I'll go back now."
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"But that can never be," said Milo, jumping to his feet.

"Don't be too sure," said the child patiently, "for one of the nicest things about mathematics, or anything else you might care to learn, is that many of the things which can never be, often are.”
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"But averages aren't real," objected Milo.

"That may be so," he agreed, "but they're also very useful at times. For instance, if you didn't have any money at all, but you happened to be with four other people who had ten dollars apiece, then you'd each have an average of eight dollars.“
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"Oh, we're just the average family," he said thoughtfully; "mother, father, and 2.58 children—and, as I explained, I'm the .58."

"It must be rather odd being only part of a person," Milo remarked.

"Not at all. Every average family has 2.58 children, so I always have someone to play with.”
Milo sitting on a step, looking at and talking to .58 of a boy, split vertically down the (almost) center
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
Milo struggled on for a while longer, until at last, completely exhausted, he collapsed onto one of the steps.

"I should have known it," he mumbled, resting his tired legs and filling his lungs with air. "This is just like the line that goes on forever, and I'll never get there."
Milo climbing an interminable staircase
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"Just follow that line forever," said the Mathemagician, "and when you reach the end, turn left. There you'll find the land of Infinity, where the tallest, the shortest, the biggest, the smallest, and the most and the least of everything are kept."

"I really don't have that much time," said Milo
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
“Now add one again. Now add one again. Now add—"
"But when can I stop?" pleaded Milo.
"Never," said the Mathemagician with a smile, "for the number you want is always at least one more than the number you've got, and it's so large that if you started saying it yesterday you wouldn't finish tomorrow"
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"What's the greatest number you can think of?"

"Nine trillion, nine hundred ninety-nine billion, nine hundred ninety-nine million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine," recited Milo breathlessly.

"Very good," said the Mathemagician. "Now add one to it.”
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"No, that's not what I mean," objected Milo. "Can you show me the longest number there is?"

"Surely," said the Mathemagician, opening another door. "Here it is. It took three carts to carry it here."

Inside this closet was the longest 8 imaginable. It was just about as wide as the three was high.
A very long, wide eight
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"Can you show me the biggest number there is?"

"I'd be delighted," he replied, opening one of the closet doors. "We keep it right here. It took four miners just to dig it out."

Inside was the biggest 3 Milo had ever seen. It was fully twice as high as the Mathemagician.
A very tall three
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"There's nothing to it," he said, "if you have a magic staff."

"But it's only a big pencil," the Humbug objected, tapping at it with his cane.

"True enough," agreed the Mathemagician; "but once you learn to use it, there's no end to what you can do."
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"Most of the time I take the shortest distance between any two points. And, of course, when I should be in several places at once," he remarked, writing 7 x 1 = 7 carefully on the note pad, "I simply multiply."

Suddenly there were seven Mathemagicians standing side by side.
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"I often find," the Mathemagician casually explained to his dazed visitors, "that the best way to get from one place to another is to erase everything and begin again. Please make yourself at home."
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"I think I'm starving."

"Me, too," complained Milo, whose stomach felt as empty as he could ever remember; "and I ate so much."

"Yes, it was delicious, wasn't it?" agreed the pleased Dodecahedron, wiping the gravy from several of his mouths. "It's the specialty of the kingdom-subtraction stew."
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"Don't stop now," he insisted, serving them again,
and again,
and again,
and again,
and again,

"How very strange," thought Milo as he finished his seventh helping. "Each one I eat makes me a little hungrier than the one before."
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
He returned them as carefully as possible but, as he did, one dropped to the floor with a smash and broke in two. The Humbug winced and Milo looked terribly concerned.

"Oh, don't worry about that," said the Mathemagician as he scooped up the pieces. "We use the broken ones for fractions."
The Mathemagician. He’s wearing a robe and tall pointed hat, both completely covered in mathematical formulas and expressions. He’s holding a long, thin staff shaped like a pencil, with a pointy end and an eraser end
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
He pulled out a small object, which he polished vigorously on his robe. When he held it up to the light, it sparkled brightly.

"But that's a five," objected Milo, for that was certainly what it was.

"Exactly," agreed the Mathemagician; "as valuable a jewel as you'll find anywhere.“
The mathematician—a bearded man in a robe and pointy had, both all covered in mathematical expressions, holding a long staff shaped like a pencil—speaks excitedly to Milo and Tock. They’re all standing inside a mine.
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
“And how could you do anything at long last," he concluded, waving his arms over his head, "without knowing how long the last was? Why, numbers are the most beautiful and valuable things in the world. Just follow me and I'll show you."
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"If you had high hopes, how would you know how high they were? And did you know that narrow escapes come in all different widths? Would you travel the whole wide world without ever knowing how wide it was?”
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"NOT IMPORTANT!" roared the Dodecahedron, turning red with fury. "Could you have tea for two without the two—or three blind mice without the three? Would there be four corners of the earth if there weren't a four? And how would you sail the seven seas without a seven?"
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"But if all the roads arrive at the same place at the same time, then aren't they all the right way?" asked Milo.

"Certainly not!" he shouted, glaring from his most upset face. "They're all the wrong way. Just because you have a choice, it doesn't mean that any of them has to be right."
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"That's absurd," objected Milo, whose head was spinning from all the numbers and questions.

"That may be true," he acknowledged, "but it's completely accurate, and as long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong? If you want sense, you'll have to make it yourself."
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
“Why, did you know that if a beaver two feet long with a tail a foot and a half long can build a dam twelve feet high and six feet wide in two days, all you would need to build Boulder Dam is a beaver sixty-eight feet long with a fifty-one-foot tail?"
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"My angles are many.
My sides are not few.
I'm the Dodecahedron.
Who are you?"

"What's a Dodecahedron?" inquired Milo, who was barely able to pronounce the strange word.

"See for yourself," he said, turning around slowly. "A Dodecahedron is a mathematical shape with twelve faces."
The dodecahedron: a man in court attire, wearing a beret, but whose head is shaped like a dodecahedron, with one face (eyes, nose, mouth) on each side.
phantomtollbot.bsky.social
"Let's travel by miles," advised the Humbug; "it's shorter."
"Let's travel by half inches," suggested Milo; "it's quicker."

DIGITOPOLIS
5 Miles
1,600 Rods
8,800 Yards
26,400 Feet
316,800 Inches
633,600 Half inches
AND THEN SOME