alan b. “öyster boy”
@oyster-boy.bsky.social
author and amateur artist, aquariumkeeper, acataleptic, a bunch of other stuff that starts with A probably. 28
Pinned
to the humble ice eater, every drink is a meal. my wisdom with you
hot stone bowl dinner
February 6, 2026 at 5:09 PM
hot stone bowl dinner
Reposted by alan b. “öyster boy”
backshots that sound like WAR
January 29, 2026 at 7:36 PM
backshots that sound like WAR
dissolving all the YouTubers in the same acid to create a big sludge sponsored by raycon
January 27, 2026 at 9:44 AM
dissolving all the YouTubers in the same acid to create a big sludge sponsored by raycon
Reposted by alan b. “öyster boy”
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
January 23, 2026 at 3:46 PM
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
The insatiable desire for prawn chips
January 10, 2026 at 8:28 PM
The insatiable desire for prawn chips
Reposted by alan b. “öyster boy”
Timeline Cleanse: Please enjoy this photo of a praying mantis that was sitting on top of my car windshield, but the angling and lighting were so weird it looks like a giant praying mantis wandering a corn field in Iowa.
January 10, 2026 at 1:03 AM
Timeline Cleanse: Please enjoy this photo of a praying mantis that was sitting on top of my car windshield, but the angling and lighting were so weird it looks like a giant praying mantis wandering a corn field in Iowa.
Reposted by alan b. “öyster boy”
Fish At Pretty Good Place In Its Life Right Now https://theonion.com/fish-at-pretty-good-place-in-its-life-right-now-1819573188/
January 2, 2026 at 4:00 PM
Fish At Pretty Good Place In Its Life Right Now https://theonion.com/fish-at-pretty-good-place-in-its-life-right-now-1819573188/
Reposted by alan b. “öyster boy”
starkid WHERE is my Grateful Dead marching bears Lords In Black t shirt!!!!!!!!!! I’ll make it myself if I have to !!!!!
December 29, 2025 at 8:28 AM
starkid WHERE is my Grateful Dead marching bears Lords In Black t shirt!!!!!!!!!! I’ll make it myself if I have to !!!!!
Reposted by alan b. “öyster boy”
2026 the year of the slutttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
December 28, 2025 at 6:05 PM
2026 the year of the slutttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
to the humble ice eater, every drink is a meal. my wisdom with you
December 12, 2025 at 7:42 PM
to the humble ice eater, every drink is a meal. my wisdom with you
Reposted by alan b. “öyster boy”
bro you gotta open South Africa bird feeder cam. fatass pigeon right in front
December 7, 2025 at 10:27 AM
bro you gotta open South Africa bird feeder cam. fatass pigeon right in front
liffing a beautiful life
December 6, 2025 at 6:33 PM
liffing a beautiful life
the Walten Files really is like baby’s first analog horror for better & worse
December 2, 2025 at 3:29 PM
the Walten Files really is like baby’s first analog horror for better & worse
Lola update: delaying construction
December 1, 2025 at 12:53 PM
Lola update: delaying construction
oo wa ah ah ah
November 21, 2025 at 8:37 PM
oo wa ah ah ah
Reposted by alan b. “öyster boy”
November 18, 2025 at 8:41 PM
On my sternum
November 20, 2025 at 7:01 PM
On my sternum
Sam asked if I wanted to see the setlist from the latest concert EE had done this tour and I said yes and it was confusing to me at first because I thought? This is get to heaven? Just the whole album, in order? Then I scrolled up and saw the title was GET TO HEAVEN 10TH ANNIVERSARY so! go figya
November 10, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Sam asked if I wanted to see the setlist from the latest concert EE had done this tour and I said yes and it was confusing to me at first because I thought? This is get to heaven? Just the whole album, in order? Then I scrolled up and saw the title was GET TO HEAVEN 10TH ANNIVERSARY so! go figya
I love serana. Great character concept, fun to have in the party. But can she Please stop complaining about the weather Everywhere
November 9, 2025 at 6:01 PM
I love serana. Great character concept, fun to have in the party. But can she Please stop complaining about the weather Everywhere
going 2 see everything everything on Monday and Sam asked if I knew who their opener was and 1. I didn’t 2. Spotify said they have 82 monthly listeners . so roughly nobody has heard of them it seems
November 7, 2025 at 4:58 PM
going 2 see everything everything on Monday and Sam asked if I knew who their opener was and 1. I didn’t 2. Spotify said they have 82 monthly listeners . so roughly nobody has heard of them it seems
GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGAL IN SKYRIM?????????
It’s so sad I’m not playing Skyrim on pc because I keep assuming gay marriage has been modded in I’ll be like yeah I LIKE marcurio but idk if I’ll MARRY him not remembering I’m a 7 foot orc and gay marriage is illegal. so maybe I make faendal my steward and “”marry”” camilla
November 6, 2025 at 3:01 PM
GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGAL IN SKYRIM?????????
a little biscoff never hurt nobody
November 5, 2025 at 10:03 PM
a little biscoff never hurt nobody