Festooned with Butter
@osomatic.bsky.social
Bog-standard cis straight white guy. He/him. Support trans kids, ACAB, fascists suck, abolish ICE, you get the general idea. #gkg
Every now and then... okay, exactly every four years, I am amused to be reminded that there is a figure skating move called a "death spiral".
February 17, 2026 at 4:04 AM
Every now and then... okay, exactly every four years, I am amused to be reminded that there is a figure skating move called a "death spiral".
For anyone watching Olympic hockey, you should know they hired Dieter Ruhle, the organist for the L.A. Kings (also the Dodgers). Also, apparently, his sound board. So you are hearing the:
- Kings goal horn
- Kings power play music
- Stuff Dieter plays at Kings game
- etcetera, with Kings stuff
#GKG
- Kings goal horn
- Kings power play music
- Stuff Dieter plays at Kings game
- etcetera, with Kings stuff
#GKG
February 13, 2026 at 3:58 AM
For anyone watching Olympic hockey, you should know they hired Dieter Ruhle, the organist for the L.A. Kings (also the Dodgers). Also, apparently, his sound board. So you are hearing the:
- Kings goal horn
- Kings power play music
- Stuff Dieter plays at Kings game
- etcetera, with Kings stuff
#GKG
- Kings goal horn
- Kings power play music
- Stuff Dieter plays at Kings game
- etcetera, with Kings stuff
#GKG
Is it weird that I can't quite tell? I have spent more time (far more than I would prefer) looking in a full-length mirror, and frankly, I think it might be torso but I dunno.
Although there's one seat on Metro buses I can't sit in because it crushes my knees, so maybe legs...?
I just can't say!
Although there's one seat on Metro buses I can't sit in because it crushes my knees, so maybe legs...?
I just can't say!
Are you primarily legs? Or primarily torso?
February 12, 2026 at 8:47 AM
Is it weird that I can't quite tell? I have spent more time (far more than I would prefer) looking in a full-length mirror, and frankly, I think it might be torso but I dunno.
Although there's one seat on Metro buses I can't sit in because it crushes my knees, so maybe legs...?
I just can't say!
Although there's one seat on Metro buses I can't sit in because it crushes my knees, so maybe legs...?
I just can't say!
I'm gonna say John Cho, who graduated the same year as me and who I am pretty sure remembers me, since he did like 15 years after we graduated. Totally random encounter in a bar in Hollywood.
But there might be someone else?
But there might be someone else?
Who's the most famous alum of your high school?
I'll go first: David Draiman of Disturbed
I'll go first: David Draiman of Disturbed
guys i just found out i went to the same high school as howard lutnick. please respect my privacy at this time.
February 12, 2026 at 8:19 AM
I'm gonna say John Cho, who graduated the same year as me and who I am pretty sure remembers me, since he did like 15 years after we graduated. Totally random encounter in a bar in Hollywood.
But there might be someone else?
But there might be someone else?
Kinda wish the Olympics commentators could think of a better adjective for the Japanese athletes other than "precise".
February 12, 2026 at 4:20 AM
Kinda wish the Olympics commentators could think of a better adjective for the Japanese athletes other than "precise".
I decree that all Spanish-language panel shows must be called "talkos". This is mandatory.
February 9, 2026 at 11:23 PM
I decree that all Spanish-language panel shows must be called "talkos". This is mandatory.
My main takeaway from the Super Bowl is that I should use AI to tell me what sports team to bet on.
February 9, 2026 at 5:43 PM
My main takeaway from the Super Bowl is that I should use AI to tell me what sports team to bet on.
NBC really ought to hire me as a color commentator for figure skating. Where else are you going to get insights like:
- Oh damn, big jump!
- Man, he barely hung on to that one!
- I dunno, these judges are nuts, that shit looked rad to me!
- The FUCK is up with that outfit?!?!
- Oh damn, big jump!
- Man, he barely hung on to that one!
- I dunno, these judges are nuts, that shit looked rad to me!
- The FUCK is up with that outfit?!?!
February 8, 2026 at 7:43 AM
NBC really ought to hire me as a color commentator for figure skating. Where else are you going to get insights like:
- Oh damn, big jump!
- Man, he barely hung on to that one!
- I dunno, these judges are nuts, that shit looked rad to me!
- The FUCK is up with that outfit?!?!
- Oh damn, big jump!
- Man, he barely hung on to that one!
- I dunno, these judges are nuts, that shit looked rad to me!
- The FUCK is up with that outfit?!?!
I mean, it's been said and we all know, but just to be clear, the President is a huge fucking racist.
I know, I know, sorry, we've all heard it. But still.
I know, I know, sorry, we've all heard it. But still.
February 7, 2026 at 8:59 AM
I mean, it's been said and we all know, but just to be clear, the President is a huge fucking racist.
I know, I know, sorry, we've all heard it. But still.
I know, I know, sorry, we've all heard it. But still.
Strongly recommend not being a dumbass and doubling up on blood sugar meds. Anyway I'm out of the hospital and home now.
February 6, 2026 at 6:20 AM
Strongly recommend not being a dumbass and doubling up on blood sugar meds. Anyway I'm out of the hospital and home now.
Apart from just plain being bad, I feel like Kid Rock cannot in any reasonable sense claim to still be a "Kid". The dude is older than dirt, for crying out loud.
(By which I mean he's a year older than me, and I feel fuckin' OLD.)
(By which I mean he's a year older than me, and I feel fuckin' OLD.)
February 2, 2026 at 10:14 PM
Apart from just plain being bad, I feel like Kid Rock cannot in any reasonable sense claim to still be a "Kid". The dude is older than dirt, for crying out loud.
(By which I mean he's a year older than me, and I feel fuckin' OLD.)
(By which I mean he's a year older than me, and I feel fuckin' OLD.)
The people of El Centro have done nothing to deserve Greg Bovino.
January 27, 2026 at 6:35 AM
The people of El Centro have done nothing to deserve Greg Bovino.
In my previous post I referred to ICE as "weenies" and my proposal is that we all call them that from now on. They know they are fascists and are proud of it, they don't care about that we hate them. Let's mock them for the weenies they are - I think that might actually bug them.
January 25, 2026 at 6:25 AM
In my previous post I referred to ICE as "weenies" and my proposal is that we all call them that from now on. They know they are fascists and are proud of it, they don't care about that we hate them. Let's mock them for the weenies they are - I think that might actually bug them.
OMG these fucking weenies
i know 12-year-olds who can apply a tourniquet more appropriately and competently than ICE
January 25, 2026 at 5:41 AM
OMG these fucking weenies
I never know if I have any Angelenos who follow me, and I'm pretty sure about 3 people actually read this, but this is so cool.
What the hell does the City of LA do? 🤔
GREAT QUESTION 💡
We've built the City of LA Department Metrics Dashboard so you can know more about what each department does! It shows the department's financial spending metrics + PERFORMANCE METRICS!
🌐 Visit LAcitymetrics.lacontroller.app
GREAT QUESTION 💡
We've built the City of LA Department Metrics Dashboard so you can know more about what each department does! It shows the department's financial spending metrics + PERFORMANCE METRICS!
🌐 Visit LAcitymetrics.lacontroller.app
January 22, 2026 at 7:11 AM
I never know if I have any Angelenos who follow me, and I'm pretty sure about 3 people actually read this, but this is so cool.
Thanks for a *moment*, Bsky. It'll happen this year, I feel certain. And we will have just as much fun. More, really.
January 21, 2026 at 7:16 AM
Thanks for a *moment*, Bsky. It'll happen this year, I feel certain. And we will have just as much fun. More, really.
The fuck?
If anyone works at major HR firms and platforms (Salesforce, Workday, etc.) and has info about what drove adding these questions to job applications in the last few months my DMs are open and my Signal is SydneyBauer.30
You will have anonymity.
You will have anonymity.
Why tf do you need to know what marker was on my birth certificate for employment?
January 20, 2026 at 7:28 AM
The fuck?
Reposted by Festooned with Butter
[person in Minneapolis beaten half to death and dragged off to a concentration camp]
You’re right Senator, sorry I got distracted sir! Egg prices are really -
[kicked unconscious by ICE thugs]
You’re right Senator, sorry I got distracted sir! Egg prices are really -
[kicked unconscious by ICE thugs]
Don’t let them distract you. Trump promised lower costs – we just saw the highest grocery inflation in years.
He doesn’t care about your costs.
He doesn’t care about your costs.
January 20, 2026 at 3:02 AM
[person in Minneapolis beaten half to death and dragged off to a concentration camp]
You’re right Senator, sorry I got distracted sir! Egg prices are really -
[kicked unconscious by ICE thugs]
You’re right Senator, sorry I got distracted sir! Egg prices are really -
[kicked unconscious by ICE thugs]
I'm gonna write a new The Stand but this time, the evil gathers in, like, Philadelphia, and the good is in St Louis or something and anyway, after the supernatural BS is over, humanity rebuilds in a friendly-to-humanity place like Southern California.
Take that, @stephenking.bsky.social!
Take that, @stephenking.bsky.social!
January 9, 2026 at 7:01 AM
I'm gonna write a new The Stand but this time, the evil gathers in, like, Philadelphia, and the good is in St Louis or something and anyway, after the supernatural BS is over, humanity rebuilds in a friendly-to-humanity place like Southern California.
Take that, @stephenking.bsky.social!
Take that, @stephenking.bsky.social!
Remember the pasty dweeb in your 10th grade US History class who always wanted to argue with the teacher that the Civil War was about economics, or that the Nazis were pretty good if you ignore the whole genocide thing? Turns out, he also had the most bonkers take possible on the Monroe Doctrine.
January 5, 2026 at 11:13 PM
Remember the pasty dweeb in your 10th grade US History class who always wanted to argue with the teacher that the Civil War was about economics, or that the Nazis were pretty good if you ignore the whole genocide thing? Turns out, he also had the most bonkers take possible on the Monroe Doctrine.
I feel like if you're just waiting around for God to pay out that OT, he's gonna be pissed
January 3, 2026 at 12:33 AM
I feel like if you're just waiting around for God to pay out that OT, he's gonna be pissed
I'm sorry, you're telling me Santa just passed something called HHOHHO?
December 24, 2025 at 8:44 PM
I'm sorry, you're telling me Santa just passed something called HHOHHO?
Reposted by Festooned with Butter
if they had just shown it on 60 Minutes nobody would have seen it
December 23, 2025 at 12:54 AM
if they had just shown it on 60 Minutes nobody would have seen it
'Magic balls' installed by drones could conquer US market thanks to game-changing performance: 'It's never been like this'
'Magic balls' installed by drones could conquer US market thanks to game-changing performance: 'It's never been like this'
'Magic balls' installed by drones could conquer US market thanks to game-changing performance: 'It's never been like this'
December 20, 2025 at 5:49 AM
'Magic balls' installed by drones could conquer US market thanks to game-changing performance: 'It's never been like this'
I've done this one before, and the answer is Porky's, and I really don't know what to make of that.
December 19, 2025 at 5:43 PM
I've done this one before, and the answer is Porky's, and I really don't know what to make of that.