I’m staying in a pet friendly hotel even though I don’t have a dog which is cool because I can just go to the bathroom on the floor and nobody suspects it’s me
November 19, 2025 at 3:50 AM
I’m staying in a pet friendly hotel even though I don’t have a dog which is cool because I can just go to the bathroom on the floor and nobody suspects it’s me
About to get on my 40th flight of the year and let me tell you I have developed the weirdest superpower. Sometimes I’ll just see a guy and go “that guy is for sure going to Phoenix and I’m usually right.”
November 3, 2025 at 10:37 PM
About to get on my 40th flight of the year and let me tell you I have developed the weirdest superpower. Sometimes I’ll just see a guy and go “that guy is for sure going to Phoenix and I’m usually right.”
These things will completely spoil the movie Stepbrothers if you haven’t seen it according to the IMDB parents guide
November 2, 2025 at 7:42 PM
These things will completely spoil the movie Stepbrothers if you haven’t seen it according to the IMDB parents guide
Reposted by Octopus/Caveman
these are great! they remind me of an @octopuscaveman.bsky.social painting
“Are you wearing the-“
“The poorly but enthusiastically sculpted Samhain turnip earrings I made a few years ago? Yeah, I am.”
“The poorly but enthusiastically sculpted Samhain turnip earrings I made a few years ago? Yeah, I am.”
October 30, 2025 at 12:41 PM
these are great! they remind me of an @octopuscaveman.bsky.social painting
A commercial for a used car lot but the guy in the commercial can’t stop crying
October 19, 2025 at 8:09 PM
A commercial for a used car lot but the guy in the commercial can’t stop crying
New Hampshire is the Live Free or Die state but you still have to pay taxes if you live there so why do people move there?
October 18, 2025 at 9:12 PM
New Hampshire is the Live Free or Die state but you still have to pay taxes if you live there so why do people move there?
I don’t get diarrhea, I get even
October 18, 2025 at 2:56 PM
I don’t get diarrhea, I get even
Reposted by Octopus/Caveman
Me: Every sandwich is an open-face sandwich unless you consume it rectally
Date: Welp, I gotta work in the morning
Date: Welp, I gotta work in the morning
October 18, 2025 at 12:31 AM
Me: Every sandwich is an open-face sandwich unless you consume it rectally
Date: Welp, I gotta work in the morning
Date: Welp, I gotta work in the morning
I don’t understand stepmom porn. I don’t even like going to the bathroom after my dad has been in there
October 18, 2025 at 2:16 PM
I don’t understand stepmom porn. I don’t even like going to the bathroom after my dad has been in there
If I was Captain Picard I would’ve called Riker number 2 because he’s the shit.
October 18, 2025 at 12:41 PM
If I was Captain Picard I would’ve called Riker number 2 because he’s the shit.
Cream Guitarist
October 14, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Cream Guitarist
I don’t want to be funny. I want to be happy.
October 14, 2025 at 8:14 PM
I don’t want to be funny. I want to be happy.
The chainsaw solo in Speedway by Morrissey is easily the best chainsaw solo in music history
October 14, 2025 at 8:07 PM
The chainsaw solo in Speedway by Morrissey is easily the best chainsaw solo in music history
Reposted by Octopus/Caveman
If you’re a politician who needs an alias for checking into hotels with your mistress, you could do a lot worse than
October 14, 2025 at 2:19 AM
If you’re a politician who needs an alias for checking into hotels with your mistress, you could do a lot worse than
Damn girl are you Mr. Bucket? Because I wanna put my balls in you
October 13, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Damn girl are you Mr. Bucket? Because I wanna put my balls in you
Reposted by Octopus/Caveman
If you shit your pants during a pat down right as the officer has their hands around your ass/inner thigh, would it be considered assault?
I need the legal side of bluesky to chime in on this.
I need the legal side of bluesky to chime in on this.
When a cop pats you down, they aren’t necessarily looking for diarrhea, but if you have any on you, they’re gonna find it, and they’ll never believe you were holding it for a friend.
October 12, 2025 at 2:25 PM
If you shit your pants during a pat down right as the officer has their hands around your ass/inner thigh, would it be considered assault?
I need the legal side of bluesky to chime in on this.
I need the legal side of bluesky to chime in on this.
The funniest part about the 90’s was the scariest most gangster dudes would walk around wearing a Tweety bird shirt
October 12, 2025 at 12:02 AM
The funniest part about the 90’s was the scariest most gangster dudes would walk around wearing a Tweety bird shirt
When a cop pats you down, they aren’t necessarily looking for diarrhea, but if you have any on you, they’re gonna find it, and they’ll never believe you were holding it for a friend.
October 11, 2025 at 7:11 PM
When a cop pats you down, they aren’t necessarily looking for diarrhea, but if you have any on you, they’re gonna find it, and they’ll never believe you were holding it for a friend.
I was trying to use Grok to make a silly dancing video from this picture of me but it cuts to this weird guy and I can’t stop laughing
October 10, 2025 at 6:27 PM
I was trying to use Grok to make a silly dancing video from this picture of me but it cuts to this weird guy and I can’t stop laughing
American Cartoon: It’s about a cat that tries to catch a mouse
Japanese Cartoon: it’s about a high school boy who turns into a giant robot when he gets horny and he protects his school from the devil
Japanese Cartoon: it’s about a high school boy who turns into a giant robot when he gets horny and he protects his school from the devil
October 10, 2025 at 3:32 PM
American Cartoon: It’s about a cat that tries to catch a mouse
Japanese Cartoon: it’s about a high school boy who turns into a giant robot when he gets horny and he protects his school from the devil
Japanese Cartoon: it’s about a high school boy who turns into a giant robot when he gets horny and he protects his school from the devil
Someone should make a purse that says “diarrhea” on it so nobody will steal your stuff because they’ll think there’s just diarrhea in there
October 7, 2025 at 11:36 PM
Someone should make a purse that says “diarrhea” on it so nobody will steal your stuff because they’ll think there’s just diarrhea in there
I should paint more clowns
October 7, 2025 at 6:18 PM
I should paint more clowns
At the airport and a girl with Down syndrome came up to me, pointed to a pigeon and said “that bird likes you” and I didn’t know what to say so I just said “that’s awesome” and then she walked away.
October 6, 2025 at 12:53 AM
At the airport and a girl with Down syndrome came up to me, pointed to a pigeon and said “that bird likes you” and I didn’t know what to say so I just said “that’s awesome” and then she walked away.
Best thrift store find ever
October 3, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Best thrift store find ever