im an anti-squire. im putting ur gorget on backwards. u ain’t know it could be like that but now u got negative trachea at crécy. who blunted your bardiche? i was outside, straight up using it to hack shrubbery. like in zelda. like in fucking zelda, milord

medieval cause of death 1: leptospirosis (mom got it while pregnant)
medieval cause of death 2: childhood illness (had strep throat 4 times before 7yo)
barring death from the first two, medieval cause of death 3: knight prankz

went to a music festival earlier this year and had a very funny dinner after with the other freshly 30 crew. we all talked about our favorite acts and how fun it was, then there was a long silence, then "i did almost die though" and a RUSH of mutual agreement

update on this situation: i am so glad im not fucking either of these people. also the cat is going back on friday. apparently for the best!!! brother i need a separate dwelling asap