NewsThump
@newsthump.com
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
This is a Christmas jumper because Die Hard is a Christmas movie. Yes, it is. Delight festive partygoers with your niche Christmas movie references, and get this jumper with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/CSjZYrJ
November 27, 2025 at 10:19 PM
This is a Christmas jumper because Die Hard is a Christmas movie. Yes, it is. Delight festive partygoers with your niche Christmas movie references, and get this jumper with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/CSjZYrJ
Nakatomi Corporation Christmas Party 1988 - it'll be a blast! Get your Christmas jumper with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/GZESjNy
November 27, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Nakatomi Corporation Christmas Party 1988 - it'll be a blast! Get your Christmas jumper with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/GZESjNy
The NewsThump Black Friday sale is now open, and we didn't have to surreptitiously raise any prices to do it! Get a minimum of 20% off everything in our store with the code BFNT25, and upto 40% off when you buy more than one of anything! See the full range here >>> buff.ly/QGnD9oe
November 26, 2025 at 11:48 AM
The NewsThump Black Friday sale is now open, and we didn't have to surreptitiously raise any prices to do it! Get a minimum of 20% off everything in our store with the code BFNT25, and upto 40% off when you buy more than one of anything! See the full range here >>> buff.ly/QGnD9oe
There is no way this man has any real friends? If you happen to have a group of friends that regularly enjoy taking the p*ss out of each other, can you imagine - just for one moment - the reaction if you were to get your phone out and use Grok to mock one of them?
November 25, 2025 at 12:36 PM
There is no way this man has any real friends? If you happen to have a group of friends that regularly enjoy taking the p*ss out of each other, can you imagine - just for one moment - the reaction if you were to get your phone out and use Grok to mock one of them?
The joy of maths and festive spirit on a single T-shirt? What's not to like? Get yours in a range of colours and with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/BIcEWG9
November 24, 2025 at 4:16 PM
The joy of maths and festive spirit on a single T-shirt? What's not to like? Get yours in a range of colours and with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/BIcEWG9
Let's deport the racists. A sentiment many of us believe would improve society beyond recognition. Get yours in a range of colours and with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/HTQIldM
November 22, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Let's deport the racists. A sentiment many of us believe would improve society beyond recognition. Get yours in a range of colours and with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/HTQIldM
The Englanf team has gone from such a very promising position, to such an entirely dreadful performance, that you could be forgiven this team was led by Keir Starmer...
November 22, 2025 at 10:06 AM
The Englanf team has gone from such a very promising position, to such an entirely dreadful performance, that you could be forgiven this team was led by Keir Starmer...
A quick Movember update! (including the best nicknames I've been given this month so far!).
Thanks to a Movember moustache designed by a 7-year-old girl, I am going out in public on a regular basis looking like... well, this.
Thanks to a Movember moustache designed by a 7-year-old girl, I am going out in public on a regular basis looking like... well, this.
November 21, 2025 at 3:23 PM
A quick Movember update! (including the best nicknames I've been given this month so far!).
Thanks to a Movember moustache designed by a 7-year-old girl, I am going out in public on a regular basis looking like... well, this.
Thanks to a Movember moustache designed by a 7-year-old girl, I am going out in public on a regular basis looking like... well, this.
One with a conviction for beating women, another with a convicted for being bribed by Russia. I'm beginning to wonder if this Reform lot really are the patriots who care about women that they claim to be...
November 21, 2025 at 1:07 PM
One with a conviction for beating women, another with a convicted for being bribed by Russia. I'm beginning to wonder if this Reform lot really are the patriots who care about women that they claim to be...
There is nothing like a little protest when you're forced into Christmas frivolities. Let everyone know you follow your own rules with our "This is my Christmas Jumper" T-shirt! With free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/nLVC5J6
November 20, 2025 at 4:08 PM
There is nothing like a little protest when you're forced into Christmas frivolities. Let everyone know you follow your own rules with our "This is my Christmas Jumper" T-shirt! With free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/nLVC5J6
We will remember them. The T-shirt for those whose early years were influenced by these soon-to-be-forgotten technologies. Get your nostalgia fix in a range of colours and with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/PAP0R36
November 19, 2025 at 10:55 AM
We will remember them. The T-shirt for those whose early years were influenced by these soon-to-be-forgotten technologies. Get your nostalgia fix in a range of colours and with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/PAP0R36
Naughty List Founding Member. Get your Christmas jumper in a range of colours with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/3oJ1uoa
November 18, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Naughty List Founding Member. Get your Christmas jumper in a range of colours with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/3oJ1uoa
While the Internet continues to thoroughly soil itself today, we can't help but think The Onion got it right (again) with their innovative commitment to print journalism...
Maybe 2026 is the year of the NewsThump print edition... who knows!
Maybe 2026 is the year of the NewsThump print edition... who knows!
November 18, 2025 at 2:06 PM
While the Internet continues to thoroughly soil itself today, we can't help but think The Onion got it right (again) with their innovative commitment to print journalism...
Maybe 2026 is the year of the NewsThump print edition... who knows!
Maybe 2026 is the year of the NewsThump print edition... who knows!
The safest, most all-encompassing protest T-shirt you will ever own. Get yours in a range of colours and with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/yYI3psM
November 18, 2025 at 10:52 AM
The safest, most all-encompassing protest T-shirt you will ever own. Get yours in a range of colours and with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/yYI3psM
It's getting colder, but the good news is that some of our most popular designs are available on hoodies! Upgraded in 2025, they're 100% organic cotton, with a heavier fabric and still delivered for FREE in the UK. Get yours here >>> buff.ly/bMuaiOy
November 17, 2025 at 11:43 AM
It's getting colder, but the good news is that some of our most popular designs are available on hoodies! Upgraded in 2025, they're 100% organic cotton, with a heavier fabric and still delivered for FREE in the UK. Get yours here >>> buff.ly/bMuaiOy
Not everyone channels the Christmas spirit as fully as an Elf. For those of us a little more Grinch-like, this Christmas jumper has you covered! Get yours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/bV9XoxR
November 16, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Not everyone channels the Christmas spirit as fully as an Elf. For those of us a little more Grinch-like, this Christmas jumper has you covered! Get yours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/bV9XoxR
Sometimes simplicity is best. And when it comes to Christmas jumpers, we've got you covered. Get this 100% organic cotton sweatshirt with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/4Hfi2L2
November 15, 2025 at 10:28 AM
Sometimes simplicity is best. And when it comes to Christmas jumpers, we've got you covered. Get this 100% organic cotton sweatshirt with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/4Hfi2L2
Freak in the sheets. The perfect T-shirt for the spreadsheet aficionado in your life! Get yours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/wF04bit
November 14, 2025 at 11:28 AM
Freak in the sheets. The perfect T-shirt for the spreadsheet aficionado in your life! Get yours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/wF04bit
I'm participating, leave me alone. The essential Christmas jumper for those who would rather be elsewhere and introverts alike. Get yours in a range of colours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/3AHprib
November 13, 2025 at 12:31 PM
I'm participating, leave me alone. The essential Christmas jumper for those who would rather be elsewhere and introverts alike. Get yours in a range of colours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/3AHprib
Merry Christmas (even to you arseholes) - because festive gatherings are sometimes better with a dash of honesty! Get yours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/g7fMi43
November 12, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Merry Christmas (even to you arseholes) - because festive gatherings are sometimes better with a dash of honesty! Get yours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/g7fMi43
Updated for 2025! Nakatomi Corporation Christmas Party - It'll be a blast! Because Die Hard is most definitely a Christmas movie. Get yours with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/0SsNWXb
November 11, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Updated for 2025! Nakatomi Corporation Christmas Party - It'll be a blast! Because Die Hard is most definitely a Christmas movie. Get yours with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/0SsNWXb
Lest we forget.
The Royal British Legion do lots of great work all year round, not just at this time of remembrance. You can support them either with a one-off payment, with a poppy, or with a monthly amount. Find the details here >>> buff.ly/KSIKZME
The Royal British Legion do lots of great work all year round, not just at this time of remembrance. You can support them either with a one-off payment, with a poppy, or with a monthly amount. Find the details here >>> buff.ly/KSIKZME
November 11, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Lest we forget.
The Royal British Legion do lots of great work all year round, not just at this time of remembrance. You can support them either with a one-off payment, with a poppy, or with a monthly amount. Find the details here >>> buff.ly/KSIKZME
The Royal British Legion do lots of great work all year round, not just at this time of remembrance. You can support them either with a one-off payment, with a poppy, or with a monthly amount. Find the details here >>> buff.ly/KSIKZME
Suing someone for publishing something misleading feels like a thread Trump in particular shouldn't be keen on pulling at...?
November 10, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Suing someone for publishing something misleading feels like a thread Trump in particular shouldn't be keen on pulling at...?
The absolute BEST way to arrive at your office Christmas party. Bar none. Get yours with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/cvFK6wD
November 10, 2025 at 1:03 PM
The absolute BEST way to arrive at your office Christmas party. Bar none. Get yours with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/cvFK6wD