Michael Delaporta
@mdelaporta.bsky.social
Who that hath a throne, or a gilded privilege not attainable by his neighbor, let him procure his slippers & get ready to dance, for there is going to be music.
Pinned
Michael Delaporta
@mdelaporta.bsky.social
· Oct 25
The next Dem president should do to the IRS what Trump did to ICE. 10x their enforcement budget, arm them to the teeth, and have them repel from Blackhawk helicopters into boardrooms, country clubs and owner’s boxes to shake these goblins by their ankles until every last penny falls out.
2015: <pops out of time machine>: In 2026, Kid Rock is on C-SPAN!
2015 me: So, is this like an “evacuate to Europe” situation, or should I have an igloo in Greenland?
2026: Bro, you better sit down…
2015 me: So, is this like an “evacuate to Europe” situation, or should I have an igloo in Greenland?
2026: Bro, you better sit down…
guys. the kid rock performance is uh. well it’s exactly what you’d expect
February 5, 2026 at 10:44 PM
2015: <pops out of time machine>: In 2026, Kid Rock is on C-SPAN!
2015 me: So, is this like an “evacuate to Europe” situation, or should I have an igloo in Greenland?
2026: Bro, you better sit down…
2015 me: So, is this like an “evacuate to Europe” situation, or should I have an igloo in Greenland?
2026: Bro, you better sit down…
Mike Johnson is a beady-eyed rat-gollum who has three human women’s feet in his freezer. Can I prove it? No.
Mike Johnson on Trump calling for Rs to "nationalize" elections: "We had 3 Republicans who were ahead on election day in last cycle & every time a new tranche of ballots came in they just magically whittled away until their leads were lost. It looks on its face to be fraudulent. Can I prove it? No"
February 3, 2026 at 11:14 PM
Mike Johnson is a beady-eyed rat-gollum who has three human women’s feet in his freezer. Can I prove it? No.
Thoughts from a graduate of the Dunning-Kruger College of Public Health.
Dr Oz on rural healthcare: "There's no question about it, whether you want it or not -- the best way to help some of these communities is gonna be AI-based avatars"
February 3, 2026 at 12:28 AM
Thoughts from a graduate of the Dunning-Kruger College of Public Health.
It took 2,500 years, but humanity has determined that the most unstoppable democratic coalition is the dumbest 49% plus the richest 1%.
January 28, 2026 at 10:52 PM
It took 2,500 years, but humanity has determined that the most unstoppable democratic coalition is the dumbest 49% plus the richest 1%.
“Look, you murder one white guy, and suddenly they don’t give you credit for locking up murderous brown preschoolers.”
Trump: "We take out drug dealers, we take out a whole group of people by the thousands. And if we get one person a little bit wrong -- headlines. But they don't talk about all the tremen-- the reason we have Minnesota crime down is because we took out so many criminals."
January 27, 2026 at 10:42 PM
“Look, you murder one white guy, and suddenly they don’t give you credit for locking up murderous brown preschoolers.”
“Sure ICE is a gestapo, but that’s not gonna ge-stop-the high price of groceries!” – Chuck Schumer, probably
January 24, 2026 at 6:53 PM
“Sure ICE is a gestapo, but that’s not gonna ge-stop-the high price of groceries!” – Chuck Schumer, probably
Ladies: If you are going to twist and distort your bodies to appease the tastes of men (which you 100% SHOULD NOT DO!), at least make it the men who have good taste!
They've changed their faces to please the patriarchy. It's not about what types of women those patriarchal men personally prefer; it's about showing those men that they are willing to submit. And it's a specific kind of look. It shows their willingness to be controlled.
January 19, 2026 at 10:34 PM
Ladies: If you are going to twist and distort your bodies to appease the tastes of men (which you 100% SHOULD NOT DO!), at least make it the men who have good taste!
Answering the question: What if a Victorian child’s ghost got divorced?
Ken Howery (below) is Trump’s ambassador to Denmark. He:
Co-founded PayPal & The Founders Fund w/ Peter Thiel & attended the Jan 2025 inauguration party at Thiel’s mansion.
Thiel’s Oct 2024 Hereticon event included a talk titled: “Manifest Destiny: Greenland, Cuba, & the New American Colony” 1/
Co-founded PayPal & The Founders Fund w/ Peter Thiel & attended the Jan 2025 inauguration party at Thiel’s mansion.
Thiel’s Oct 2024 Hereticon event included a talk titled: “Manifest Destiny: Greenland, Cuba, & the New American Colony” 1/
January 11, 2026 at 8:51 PM
Answering the question: What if a Victorian child’s ghost got divorced?
Read my eight volume adult graphic novel: “Lindsey Graham, Constitutional Bottom”
Putting aside Lindsey Graham’s eagerness to undermine his own institution, after Nixon vetoed the War Powers Act in 1973, Congress overrode him.
House vote: 284-135
Senate vote: 75-18
In both instances, the majorities were bipartisan. (Many liberal Dems balked and said it didn’t go far enough.)
House vote: 284-135
Senate vote: 75-18
In both instances, the majorities were bipartisan. (Many liberal Dems balked and said it didn’t go far enough.)
January 11, 2026 at 8:47 PM
Read my eight volume adult graphic novel: “Lindsey Graham, Constitutional Bottom”
Elon Musk says <9600-baud modem sound that’s somehow also the n-word>…
Elon Musk says AI surgeons will be better than humans in just three years
Musk is ‘too optimistic’, with years of comparative testing required before robots can work on humans, an expert says
www.independent.co.uk
January 8, 2026 at 10:25 PM
Elon Musk says <9600-baud modem sound that’s somehow also the n-word>…
App idea: Drwnr. For $100,000, you can hold the President’s head under water for 60 seconds. Each second after that costs another $100,000.
January 6, 2026 at 10:55 PM
App idea: Drwnr. For $100,000, you can hold the President’s head under water for 60 seconds. Each second after that costs another $100,000.
Reposted by Michael Delaporta
These parents killed their child and we need to say it
“The vaccination has stuff we don’t trust,” said the father of the 6-year-old girl who died of measles. In March, Tom Bartlett wrote about his visit with a family confronting an unthinkable tragedy.
Revisit one of The Atlantic’s most-read stories of 2025: theatln.tc/yADSKik3?lin...
Revisit one of The Atlantic’s most-read stories of 2025: theatln.tc/yADSKik3?lin...
December 29, 2025 at 12:43 AM
These parents killed their child and we need to say it
“Having your robot NOT kick you in the balls is only available on our Robot Premium Everything plan and our Robot Premium All-In plan.”
another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls
December 27, 2025 at 6:43 PM
“Having your robot NOT kick you in the balls is only available on our Robot Premium Everything plan and our Robot Premium All-In plan.”
“While Jeffery Dahmer’s vegan diet appears to be holding, albeit with regular bouts of cannibalistic murder, the crisis endures.”
December 27, 2025 at 2:50 AM
“While Jeffery Dahmer’s vegan diet appears to be holding, albeit with regular bouts of cannibalistic murder, the crisis endures.”
Imagine the DMV, but you can only register your car if you’re a fertile woman under 30…
December 26, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Imagine the DMV, but you can only register your car if you’re a fertile woman under 30…
If we confiscated every dollar from every billionaire, it would still be a net-positive to the social fabric of the United States even if we didn’t use the money for anything!
How much are you going to pay doctors?
Which current hospitals get shut down ?
What happens if doctors opt out of the system ? Who is going to invest in new curative therapies. You ?
How much in taxes pr year do you think it's possible to collect if you took every penny from billionaires?
Which current hospitals get shut down ?
What happens if doctors opt out of the system ? Who is going to invest in new curative therapies. You ?
How much in taxes pr year do you think it's possible to collect if you took every penny from billionaires?
Half the amount that everyone currently pays could provide universal healthcare. Private health companies don’t need to exist. Eliminate them. And use your collective buying power and economies of scale to get it done. Every cent of their profit is healthcare denied.
December 25, 2025 at 3:48 AM
If we confiscated every dollar from every billionaire, it would still be a net-positive to the social fabric of the United States even if we didn’t use the money for anything!
“If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”
December 23, 2025 at 2:48 AM
“If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”
Sure, white couches are risky; dangerous even. Everyone says “the littlest spill, just a teaspoon of fluid, could ruin them.”
But here, in America, we embrace our white couches; we LOVE them. And they should NEVER apologize for being their sexy selves.
But here, in America, we embrace our white couches; we LOVE them. And they should NEVER apologize for being their sexy selves.
JD Vance: "In the United States of America you don't have to apologize for being white anymore"
December 22, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Sure, white couches are risky; dangerous even. Everyone says “the littlest spill, just a teaspoon of fluid, could ruin them.”
But here, in America, we embrace our white couches; we LOVE them. And they should NEVER apologize for being their sexy selves.
But here, in America, we embrace our white couches; we LOVE them. And they should NEVER apologize for being their sexy selves.
I used to think that the Inheritance Tax should be be 110%. I now see that was wrong and naive.
The Inheritance Tax should be 125%.
The Inheritance Tax should be 125%.
This is obscene. Why can't other politicians say that?
The 25 richest families are collectively $358.7 billion richer than a year ago, with a combined fortune totaling $2.9 trillion.
The 25 richest families are collectively $358.7 billion richer than a year ago, with a combined fortune totaling $2.9 trillion.
December 18, 2025 at 10:23 PM
I used to think that the Inheritance Tax should be be 110%. I now see that was wrong and naive.
The Inheritance Tax should be 125%.
The Inheritance Tax should be 125%.
What if I want an above-average penis? How much more is that?
Dr Oz: "The creation of a penis costs on average in America $150,000 per child ... if you add testicles, that's extra"
December 18, 2025 at 6:28 PM
What if I want an above-average penis? How much more is that?
Claiming that “prices are coming down so low, like never before” and also saying “you don’t want deflation” is evidence of a brain so smooth it could be used to calibrate telescope lenses.
December 14, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Claiming that “prices are coming down so low, like never before” and also saying “you don’t want deflation” is evidence of a brain so smooth it could be used to calibrate telescope lenses.
Absolutely starting 2026 by opening all of my work emails with “Hi Ben, this is Michael from computer”.
Intend to do this even if the recipient isn’t named Ben.
Intend to do this even if the recipient isn’t named Ben.
December 11, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Absolutely starting 2026 by opening all of my work emails with “Hi Ben, this is Michael from computer”.
Intend to do this even if the recipient isn’t named Ben.
Intend to do this even if the recipient isn’t named Ben.
Good genes.
Amanda Seyfried tells WhoWhatWear she won’t apologize for calling Charlie Kirk “hateful”:
“I mean, for f**k’s sake, I commented on one thing. I said something that was based on actual reality and actual footage and actual quotes.“
“I mean, for f**k’s sake, I commented on one thing. I said something that was based on actual reality and actual footage and actual quotes.“
December 11, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Good genes.
Their wedding song was “My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama” by Frank Zappa, but instead of “guitar” is was “easily accessible AR-15” and instead of “mama” it was “brown people”.
December 10, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Their wedding song was “My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama” by Frank Zappa, but instead of “guitar” is was “easily accessible AR-15” and instead of “mama” it was “brown people”.
ChatGPT: Cut the baby in half.
Me: wtf?
ChatGPT: You’re right! I didn’t consider that you’d want a live baby. Would you like me to offer other suggestions that don’t involve infanticide?
Me: wtf?
ChatGPT: You’re right! I didn’t consider that you’d want a live baby. Would you like me to offer other suggestions that don’t involve infanticide?
Woman: The baby is mine
Woman #2: No it's mine
King Solomon: Both of you say this baby is yours. Hang on a sec
*types*
ChatGPT: Cutting the baby in half is your best move
Solomon: Someone get me a sword
ChatGPT: Also pre-heat the oven so it's nice and hot when you cook the juicier half of the baby
Woman #2: No it's mine
King Solomon: Both of you say this baby is yours. Hang on a sec
*types*
ChatGPT: Cutting the baby in half is your best move
Solomon: Someone get me a sword
ChatGPT: Also pre-heat the oven so it's nice and hot when you cook the juicier half of the baby
Jimmy Fallon: "And do you use ChatGPT when raising your baby?"
Sam Altman: "I cannot imagine figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT."
Sam Altman: "I cannot imagine figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT."
December 10, 2025 at 1:59 AM
ChatGPT: Cut the baby in half.
Me: wtf?
ChatGPT: You’re right! I didn’t consider that you’d want a live baby. Would you like me to offer other suggestions that don’t involve infanticide?
Me: wtf?
ChatGPT: You’re right! I didn’t consider that you’d want a live baby. Would you like me to offer other suggestions that don’t involve infanticide?