What makes a good question, rhetorically speaking? (Asking for a friend who is a baby??).

Baby’s a triple threat: He can sing, draw, and break his father’s iPad accessories (often all three at once). Next stop: Broadway! (Gonna try to sell my talented baby to buy a new Apple Pencil).

He nailed it in one take and refused to try again.

He’s gonna grow up to be a vet, but specifically the kind they have at dog fights.

Made Baby this nifty little sound toy in the hopes he passes clean through his DJ phase before he learns the word “career.”

A big part of parenting is teaching your kid to set achievable life goals, that’s why Baby and I are improvising a musical version of Blade Runner, aka Blade Stummer aka Do Jamdroids Dream of Electric Sheep.

Baby is the bell(e) of my ball(s).

As a responsible father, I try to prepare for every contingency. That’s why I made Baby a sound toy that plays me singing his name across a range of keys, so he’ll respect my authority under all levels of helium exposure. #HighPitchParenting #BalloonDaddy

For some reason, Baby has an innate fear of group singing — which, as he grows, will not only save us money on terrifying birthday parties but also protect him from America’s two scariest exports: cults and Broadway (but I repeat myself—ahem, theater kids).

Been building musical toys for Baby as my gift to the whole family, just so that there’s absolutely *no* question of who to blame when he gets an art degree.