Matthew Perren
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matthewperren.bsky.social
Matthew Perren
@matthewperren.bsky.social
300 followers 220 following 2.9K posts
Dog and cat owning ex-bookseller. Lives in Scotland.
Non-work profile of @matnav.co.uk
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matthewperren.bsky.social
LOOK AT IT!!!!
Cross section of a wool duvet in all its insane coziness
November 11, 2025 at 10:10 AM
matthewperren.bsky.social
I’m keeping this as a memento of happier times. Only six minutes to go but Scotland still lost.

#ThePE
Scotland 17 - 17 New Zealand score card
November 8, 2025 at 5:06 PM
matthewperren.bsky.social
Challenge accepted. (C/o Noodles)
Noodles the black and white cat doing a huge stretch and simultaneously yawning so hard he’s almost turning his head inside out. His fingers are fully spread out with claws extended. He looks a little terrifying to be honest all claws and teeth.
November 7, 2025 at 8:44 AM
matthewperren.bsky.social
Lotta would just like to thank the firework-loving denizens of North Edinburgh for scaring the shit out of her last night.
Lotta is not allowed upstairs but on bonfire night she goes halfway up the stairs to pant and shake.
November 6, 2025 at 1:43 PM
matthewperren.bsky.social
And he seemed so happy when last we met
A baby doll in its box. It’s hand firmly and deliberately between its legs.
November 6, 2025 at 1:03 PM
matthewperren.bsky.social
The painting “Ennui” by Walter Sickert in which an older man is sat puffing on a cigar. Behind him, in an attitude of despair a younger woman is slumped against the sideboard, her head in her hands. She’s had it with his shit. He’s saying “AKCHUALLY... I think you'll find that's a Sugar Glider”
November 6, 2025 at 8:50 AM
matthewperren.bsky.social
Noodles and I want to read it please
Black and white cat showing off his lovely paws
November 1, 2025 at 1:10 PM
matthewperren.bsky.social
Is that all you got?
HUGE pumpkin with a teeny tiny sad face carved on it (two dots for eyes and a single line sad mouth)
November 1, 2025 at 8:05 AM
matthewperren.bsky.social
Reform UK logo but with the party’s name replaced by the words “I’m with stupid “
October 28, 2025 at 10:40 PM
matthewperren.bsky.social
Neep lantern with a huge grin. Quite a happy looking chap all things considered
October 28, 2025 at 9:56 PM
matthewperren.bsky.social
Horrifying
Extract from a list of foodstuffs available at a feed station on a bike race. It reads: • Pork pies form a local butcher
October 25, 2025 at 8:48 AM
matthewperren.bsky.social
How it started. How it’s going
Noodles as a skinny battle-scarred somewhat nervous kitten in a cat shelter who has just forcibly demanded that we take him home. Five years later the same boy is the plushest, most affectionate cat I’ve ever owned. He’s also very louche.
October 24, 2025 at 7:51 PM
matthewperren.bsky.social
Remember George Osbourne.
George Osbourne ex UK chancellor of the Exchequer stands on a stage at some godforsaken conference centre at the Conservative Party conference. He is legs akimbo in a manner intended to convey POWER but it’s George Osborne so he looks like a damp wanker.
October 22, 2025 at 7:19 PM
matthewperren.bsky.social
You’re shitting me!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c5...
A beautiful scene of waves breaking on pebbles with mountains in the background is overlaid with cursive text that reads, “Was it DNS again?” and at the bottom, “Yes. Yes it was.”
October 20, 2025 at 10:05 PM
matthewperren.bsky.social
My nephew sent me this picture of me and his mum, my sister, today.

I was 15 or 16. She would have been 22 or 23.

We’re 61 and 68 now
Me and my sister in 1979 or 1980
October 19, 2025 at 9:19 PM
matthewperren.bsky.social
The sky yesterday morning was gorgeous
The sky above Victoria Park in Edinburgh. Blue with long low grey clouds tinged with pink by the rising sun. Higher up white clouds hang in sheets of white pom-poms and rippling flags. Occasionally the ice crystals at the edges are caught by the sun and the white light split into all the colours in the spectrum. The sky above Victoria Park in Edinburgh. Blue with long low grey clouds tinged with pink by the rising sun. Higher up white clouds hang in sheets of white pom-poms and rippling flags. Occasionally the ice crystals at the edges are caught by the sun and the white light split into all the colours in the spectrum The sky above Victoria Park in Edinburgh. Blue with long low grey clouds tinged with pink by the rising sun. Higher up white clouds hang in sheets of white pom-poms and rippling flags. Occasionally the ice crystals at the edges are caught by the sun and the white light split into all the colours in the spectrum The sky above Victoria Park in Edinburgh. Blue with long low grey clouds tinged with pink by the rising sun. Higher up white clouds hang in sheets of white pom-poms and rippling flags. Occasionally the ice crystals at the edges are caught by the sun and the white light split into all the colours in the spectrum
October 7, 2025 at 6:14 AM
matthewperren.bsky.social
Sherelle Jacobs
October 3, 2025 at 6:04 AM
matthewperren.bsky.social
Noodles says this is all solid advice. But where is “demamdin tretts”?
Noodles the black and white tuxedo cat standing up against the cupboard wherein his treats are kept
October 3, 2025 at 5:59 AM
matthewperren.bsky.social
The couch in action
Noodles the tuxedo cat taking his leisure on a brown velvet couch
October 1, 2025 at 12:04 PM
matthewperren.bsky.social
He’s absolutely a tuxie!
Noodles the solidly tuxedo cat. No doubt about the tuxiness. No sir.
October 1, 2025 at 10:10 AM
matthewperren.bsky.social
We have a velvet couch that Noodles leaves alone. But then he sharpens his claws outside or on me.
Tuxedo cat cheekily lying on the dog’s bed
October 1, 2025 at 6:33 AM
matthewperren.bsky.social
He wore a white shirt and white trousers. He’s an older gentleman now and has white hair. It was like trying to photograph a ghost
A glowing silhouette of Peter Hammill sits on stage in front of a grand piano and reaches for a guitar.
September 29, 2025 at 10:03 PM
matthewperren.bsky.social
My dog, a big stupid shaggy yellow labradoodle standing inside a closed gate. On the gate is a sign that reads “no dogs allowed”
September 27, 2025 at 7:20 AM
matthewperren.bsky.social
My personal favourite. This will be on my Equity card.
Canadian shop front. The shop is called “Kenneth Variety”. It will be my stage name.
September 27, 2025 at 7:07 AM
matthewperren.bsky.social
Every morning I get up at 6:30 so that I can sit about drinking coffee for an hour with a cat on my lap
Noodles, a black and white cat curled up in a tight ball on my lap
September 25, 2025 at 6:21 AM