Matt Grote
@mattgrote.bsky.social
Comedian, cat dad, dog father, himbo mathematician
Pinned
Matt Grote
@mattgrote.bsky.social
· Apr 18
Idk how the fuck but I just PR'd:
✅️ 5:34/mi twice
✅️ 344lbs for 1x3 on machine bench (sloppy but I'll take it)
✅️ 185 for 4x7 on rear delt fly
✅️ Goofiest face on a gym selfie
(@166lb bodyweight)
✅️ 5:34/mi twice
✅️ 344lbs for 1x3 on machine bench (sloppy but I'll take it)
✅️ 185 for 4x7 on rear delt fly
✅️ Goofiest face on a gym selfie
(@166lb bodyweight)
Fantastic thighs on the timeline today. Thank you gay guys on my phone!
November 10, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Fantastic thighs on the timeline today. Thank you gay guys on my phone!
A guy paced off me for almost 8 miles straight and I regret to inform yall it's actually fun as hell being chased by a man, i did NOT learn the correct lesson
November 10, 2025 at 6:22 PM
A guy paced off me for almost 8 miles straight and I regret to inform yall it's actually fun as hell being chased by a man, i did NOT learn the correct lesson
The way the intro for the GBBO finale was like "Here's the winner! And also two stupid f*ggots for some reason, sorry about them"
November 10, 2025 at 12:54 AM
The way the intro for the GBBO finale was like "Here's the winner! And also two stupid f*ggots for some reason, sorry about them"
We are the daughters of the worms you couldn't love
November 8, 2025 at 11:53 PM
We are the daughters of the worms you couldn't love
Here's a censored version because my bare chest is apparently inherently pornographic
November 8, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Here's a censored version because my bare chest is apparently inherently pornographic
Finding balance in all things by failing my long run. Either way excited to be named this marathon's most shirtless guy
November 8, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Finding balance in all things by failing my long run. Either way excited to be named this marathon's most shirtless guy
Tore this run to shreds plz enjoy my pecs about it
November 7, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Tore this run to shreds plz enjoy my pecs about it
Not to be in my 30s on main but I made a dope soup tonight
November 7, 2025 at 2:30 AM
Not to be in my 30s on main but I made a dope soup tonight
RT if you'd let Miss Piggy judo chop you in the throat
November 6, 2025 at 6:37 PM
RT if you'd let Miss Piggy judo chop you in the throat
Sprints, lil arms to put some thunderbolts on the forearms, horsing around with ab control
November 5, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Sprints, lil arms to put some thunderbolts on the forearms, horsing around with ab control
What if Staten Island secedes
November 5, 2025 at 3:08 AM
What if Staten Island secedes
Continuing my campaign to try and make shirts redundant
November 4, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Continuing my campaign to try and make shirts redundant
I thought Dick Cheney was 84 when he was in office
November 4, 2025 at 4:08 PM
I thought Dick Cheney was 84 when he was in office
Got a lot of requests for the video so, bone apple tit.
10 mile run + pull day + flexing antics
10 mile run + pull day + flexing antics
November 4, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Got a lot of requests for the video so, bone apple tit.
10 mile run + pull day + flexing antics
10 mile run + pull day + flexing antics
No these were cute I'm not burying them under the automod adult label
November 3, 2025 at 6:54 PM
No these were cute I'm not burying them under the automod adult label
Got to pull a barbell off a guy today he did not say thank you plz clap
November 3, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Got to pull a barbell off a guy today he did not say thank you plz clap
Not me texting my friend in the marathon "break a leg"
November 2, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Not me texting my friend in the marathon "break a leg"
Could have also done Johnny Storm i suppose
November 1, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Could have also done Johnny Storm i suppose
I hate gay Halloween what do you mean you're Susan Storm from the 1994 unreleased Fantastic Four movie they made to keep the rights
November 1, 2025 at 12:37 AM
I hate gay Halloween what do you mean you're Susan Storm from the 1994 unreleased Fantastic Four movie they made to keep the rights
My dad used to set up a pumpkin with a speaker outside a window so we could sit in the dark and talk to trick or treaters as the "talking pumpkin" and frankly I think we should all fuck around with our silly ideas like that more often
October 31, 2025 at 9:23 PM
My dad used to set up a pumpkin with a speaker outside a window so we could sit in the dark and talk to trick or treaters as the "talking pumpkin" and frankly I think we should all fuck around with our silly ideas like that more often
I apologized to him for making him wait don't worry
Having a cat is cute because they gotta wait politely for the bathroom
October 31, 2025 at 6:05 PM
I apologized to him for making him wait don't worry
I hate gay Halloween, what do you mean you're a parody of yourself
October 31, 2025 at 4:33 PM
I hate gay Halloween, what do you mean you're a parody of yourself
Okay does my demon cat look better when he sees the evil in your soul or when he sees the way you die?
October 30, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Okay does my demon cat look better when he sees the evil in your soul or when he sees the way you die?