Lily Slay she/her
@lilyslay.bsky.social
Milwaukee musician, writer, licensed makeup/wig artist, joke maker, dog sitter/trainer, business major, bisexual spitfire, certified fatty, bald baddie, local loudmouth, probably out here somewhere singing a song about how much I hate Ronald Reagan
Selling my boobs to a private equity firm so when everything goes downhill over the next few years we can all say, “yeah, well, what did you expect?”
August 4, 2025 at 1:59 PM
Selling my boobs to a private equity firm so when everything goes downhill over the next few years we can all say, “yeah, well, what did you expect?”
What did she bring back from space with her? 😰
June 30, 2025 at 5:44 PM
What did she bring back from space with her? 😰
If you want to eradicate autistic people, then how do you explain putting these guys in your parade, huh?
June 15, 2025 at 2:43 PM
If you want to eradicate autistic people, then how do you explain putting these guys in your parade, huh?
I vote for this to be an expression, cuz it’s exactly what you’re doing when you have conversations with AI.
May 7, 2025 at 4:23 PM
I vote for this to be an expression, cuz it’s exactly what you’re doing when you have conversations with AI.
What are your favorite examples of very obviously queer relationships throughout time that historians have painted as close friends or roommates?
April 16, 2025 at 5:45 PM
What are your favorite examples of very obviously queer relationships throughout time that historians have painted as close friends or roommates?
I’m so old, I remember when being a sell-out hypocrite made you uncool. Don’t forget to buy your Green Day Keurig coffee maker.
April 16, 2025 at 1:40 PM
I’m so old, I remember when being a sell-out hypocrite made you uncool. Don’t forget to buy your Green Day Keurig coffee maker.
Luigi has blessed us again: the ONLY thing this man is guilty of killing is the cultural fixation on bulky scrunched down Hooters tube socks.
February 24, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Luigi has blessed us again: the ONLY thing this man is guilty of killing is the cultural fixation on bulky scrunched down Hooters tube socks.
“And I took so many horse tranquilizers, I swear I must have snorted a line of coke this long.”
February 24, 2025 at 1:04 AM
“And I took so many horse tranquilizers, I swear I must have snorted a line of coke this long.”
A. Y'all know how good that halftime show was?
B. And y'all know how hollow and lifeless white evangelical Christian rock feels, even when the ingredients are good? How creepy Al music sounds?
🧵
B. And y'all know how hollow and lifeless white evangelical Christian rock feels, even when the ingredients are good? How creepy Al music sounds?
🧵
February 10, 2025 at 5:18 PM
A. Y'all know how good that halftime show was?
B. And y'all know how hollow and lifeless white evangelical Christian rock feels, even when the ingredients are good? How creepy Al music sounds?
🧵
B. And y'all know how hollow and lifeless white evangelical Christian rock feels, even when the ingredients are good? How creepy Al music sounds?
🧵
We can’t forget 🧊 atrocities, but this is the most concise overview I’ve seen so far.
February 3, 2025 at 11:51 PM
We can’t forget 🧊 atrocities, but this is the most concise overview I’ve seen so far.
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be tech nerds
February 3, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be tech nerds
How I arrived on Bluesky
January 25, 2025 at 11:14 PM
How I arrived on Bluesky
This is a perfect mascot for Target: white, selectively bred, with an imaginary bullseye they put on themselves
January 25, 2025 at 3:15 PM
This is a perfect mascot for Target: white, selectively bred, with an imaginary bullseye they put on themselves
My Burningest Recent Sexual Fantasy: Ed Harris from Apollo 13 rolls up his sleeves and says, “I’m a certified expert science dude. We’re gonna fix everything wrong with the country AND global warming, but I can’t prevent you from burning up on re-entry.”
January 21, 2025 at 1:43 AM
My Burningest Recent Sexual Fantasy: Ed Harris from Apollo 13 rolls up his sleeves and says, “I’m a certified expert science dude. We’re gonna fix everything wrong with the country AND global warming, but I can’t prevent you from burning up on re-entry.”
The TikTok that’s been revived is Borgified. It’s even further corrupted. Consider me Herman Munster with thick Maine accent and an ominous warning, because the app you loved and buried in the Pet Sematary is not the one that’s coming back.
January 20, 2025 at 12:42 AM
The TikTok that’s been revived is Borgified. It’s even further corrupted. Consider me Herman Munster with thick Maine accent and an ominous warning, because the app you loved and buried in the Pet Sematary is not the one that’s coming back.
Business school starts again next week 😭😭😭
January 17, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Business school starts again next week 😭😭😭
My funny and sexy husband says this every time I finally come home from a dog sitting gig. 3 more nights.
January 10, 2025 at 7:57 PM
My funny and sexy husband says this every time I finally come home from a dog sitting gig. 3 more nights.
Found my long-term afterlife goal
January 5, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Found my long-term afterlife goal
POST YOUR FAVORITE SIMPSONS FACIAL EXPRESSION
January 2, 2025 at 8:25 PM
POST YOUR FAVORITE SIMPSONS FACIAL EXPRESSION
Why wasn’t this class made available to me this semester?
January 1, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Why wasn’t this class made available to me this semester?
My husband is bringing dinner and new lingerie and my next set of Invisalign trays to me at my dog client’s house so I can get paid by a rich guy to be well fed and look exquisitely beautiful while my mouth aches.
January 1, 2025 at 12:12 AM
My husband is bringing dinner and new lingerie and my next set of Invisalign trays to me at my dog client’s house so I can get paid by a rich guy to be well fed and look exquisitely beautiful while my mouth aches.
First day back dog sitting and you know where I am:
Accursed Pear Mansion
Accursed Pear Mansion
December 28, 2024 at 3:39 PM
First day back dog sitting and you know where I am:
Accursed Pear Mansion
Accursed Pear Mansion