Alan White (Lawthreeper)
@lawjr3.bsky.social
I'm a trivia guy who misses his friends!
I haven’t seen tall boys this handsome since I fell off the wagon!
November 21, 2025 at 1:36 PM
I haven’t seen tall boys this handsome since I fell off the wagon!
Blanket triggered these memories. My daughter loved the blanket though.
November 21, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Blanket triggered these memories. My daughter loved the blanket though.
I asked my wife for one a few xmases ago. She got me a blanket that’s either 20 or 30 lbs. turns out that I, a head and neck cancer survivor, have MAJOR ptsd from radiation, having my entire head placed in a cage and bolted to a table and my mouth filled with clay for 45min at a time. Triggers.
November 21, 2025 at 1:24 PM
I asked my wife for one a few xmases ago. She got me a blanket that’s either 20 or 30 lbs. turns out that I, a head and neck cancer survivor, have MAJOR ptsd from radiation, having my entire head placed in a cage and bolted to a table and my mouth filled with clay for 45min at a time. Triggers.
I heard this message in the voice of Dan McCoy as written by Elliot Kalan.
November 21, 2025 at 3:02 AM
I heard this message in the voice of Dan McCoy as written by Elliot Kalan.
I also didn’t appreciate their cooking methods.
a woman is smiling while looking at a fish on a cutting board in a kitchen .
ALT: a woman is smiling while looking at a fish on a cutting board in a kitchen .
media.tenor.com
November 20, 2025 at 2:24 PM
I also didn’t appreciate their cooking methods.
That waiter was a dick. Every time it was my turn to talk, he spoke. Jerry. Jimmy. Something like that.
November 20, 2025 at 3:12 AM
That waiter was a dick. Every time it was my turn to talk, he spoke. Jerry. Jimmy. Something like that.
I went there once. The server gnashed their teeth and bit the recess lady’s breast. Unforgettable.
November 20, 2025 at 1:21 AM
I went there once. The server gnashed their teeth and bit the recess lady’s breast. Unforgettable.
Backpack! I lost all my Bakugan!!
November 20, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Backpack! I lost all my Bakugan!!
How on earth did Finn survive this long before you?!?!
November 20, 2025 at 12:46 AM
How on earth did Finn survive this long before you?!?!
I’m excited that you see any wildlife! Growing up in Yucaipa, I only ever saw ravens and tarantulas.
November 19, 2025 at 5:57 PM
I’m excited that you see any wildlife! Growing up in Yucaipa, I only ever saw ravens and tarantulas.
It’s August somewhere. Amirite?! Waits for high fives.
November 19, 2025 at 4:53 PM
It’s August somewhere. Amirite?! Waits for high fives.
You know your partner is cheating on if they watch Sliding Doors with a Notebook and a Franklin Planner.
Hang on. That joke feels 30 years old.
I’ll update: you know they’re cheating if they’re watching Sliding Doors with a Palm Pilot and a Zune.
Hang on. That joke feels 30 years old.
I’ll update: you know they’re cheating if they’re watching Sliding Doors with a Palm Pilot and a Zune.
November 19, 2025 at 3:35 PM
You know your partner is cheating on if they watch Sliding Doors with a Notebook and a Franklin Planner.
Hang on. That joke feels 30 years old.
I’ll update: you know they’re cheating if they’re watching Sliding Doors with a Palm Pilot and a Zune.
Hang on. That joke feels 30 years old.
I’ll update: you know they’re cheating if they’re watching Sliding Doors with a Palm Pilot and a Zune.
I gave a synopsis of Sliding Doors to my daughter and she was blown away that they made it. So I explained Run Lola Run and whatever that shitty Dennis Quaid version where he saves the president or some shit.
November 19, 2025 at 3:31 PM
I gave a synopsis of Sliding Doors to my daughter and she was blown away that they made it. So I explained Run Lola Run and whatever that shitty Dennis Quaid version where he saves the president or some shit.
I sure want it to be. The last great Thanksgiving with my family was 2012. Izzy’s first year and we had all my family come in. But not for why you think. I got all the sisters in my family to come down so we could watch the final Twilight in theaters. We laughed and yelled at the screen. Amazing.
November 19, 2025 at 3:26 PM
I sure want it to be. The last great Thanksgiving with my family was 2012. Izzy’s first year and we had all my family come in. But not for why you think. I got all the sisters in my family to come down so we could watch the final Twilight in theaters. We laughed and yelled at the screen. Amazing.
Don’t forget I sneeze with my eyes open too!
November 18, 2025 at 11:52 PM
Don’t forget I sneeze with my eyes open too!
I also have stretch marks on my head! I’ve lost weight everywhere!
November 18, 2025 at 9:29 PM
I also have stretch marks on my head! I’ve lost weight everywhere!
My buddy got arrested for a DUI while his wife was out of town. He called me and begged me to see him. When I got there, he said, “I’ve got an explicit movie in the dvd player. I need you to hire a locksmith to get in my condo and get rid of the dvd and the case on the coffee table.” I said no.
November 18, 2025 at 9:27 PM
My buddy got arrested for a DUI while his wife was out of town. He called me and begged me to see him. When I got there, he said, “I’ve got an explicit movie in the dvd player. I need you to hire a locksmith to get in my condo and get rid of the dvd and the case on the coffee table.” I said no.
Fun fact: I’m about to host a very good and healthy family reunion with no losers or lgbtq phobes. But I am having nightmares every night about driving nine hours through the rain with air fryers, sous vides and instant pots in the back, along with several coolers of delicious food.
November 18, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Fun fact: I’m about to host a very good and healthy family reunion with no losers or lgbtq phobes. But I am having nightmares every night about driving nine hours through the rain with air fryers, sous vides and instant pots in the back, along with several coolers of delicious food.
If you disparage the peanuts with your classlessness again, I will get on my knees behind you and scream, “Do it now!” Then my 13 year old will push you backwards.
November 18, 2025 at 2:21 PM
If you disparage the peanuts with your classlessness again, I will get on my knees behind you and scream, “Do it now!” Then my 13 year old will push you backwards.
November in Savannah has some magic too. I totally know what you mean.
November 18, 2025 at 12:35 AM
November in Savannah has some magic too. I totally know what you mean.