This is the best day ever to be in a group chat with people who aren’t online. They react to every piece of breaking news about the beef like you’re Paul Revere.

View from Randalls in N PDX. Gusts be gusting, snow be snowing #pdxbst #orwx #pdxtst

Me: What’re you watching, hon?

Husband: A documentary on Irish rock.

Me: Isn’t that just called the Blarney Stone?

Me, doing five minutes of karate moves because I’m the funniest person ever

me: [carefully placing a baby on my boss’s desk]
my boss: and the other one
me: [pauses, then unstraps an ankle holster that cradles a smaller, but just as deadly baby]

I’m a traditional woman. I believe I should stay inside the home and wild rodents stay outside. It may not be your cup of tea, but it suits me fine.

(Crying over $299 exterminator bill)

According to my Apple Music 2024 replay, I’m one of the top 1000 listeners of Twenty Trucks. So, good for me? 🚌🚑🚒🚜

PBOT: no, we refuse to pave your street. Let’s throw some gravel on it every few years. Does that please you peasants? God forbid we take any money away from important projects, like the slow as f Streetcar vanity project #PDX

When you ask a job candidate “oh, can you tell me more about MiniVAN” when you lived and breathed that shit for almost a decade. Hey, I wanna hear their thoughts without saying “why can’t they just GPS the route? I’m lugging around 20lbs of lit and it’s 90 degrees. I’m busy.”

I fucked up my bathroom drain so my weekend activity is bothering George Morlan employees because I’m an idiot.

My dream - start a PDX collective where we get to write/create cool art, but it’s ok if you can only make a little bit this time because we have jobs/kids/crippling anxiety, no one is a pretentious jerk, and we also harass local electeds to make 3rd spaces and sidewalks.

Me, re: my husband - I love him so much! He’s great to me, he’s a great dad! I’m so lucky to have him!

Me to my husband, just now - You’re joking if you think I’m cleaning the blender, bitch. I wasn’t the one making a smoothie.

TURN THIS UP! 📢📢📢

Neighbor of ten years is being evicted so a family member can move in. Counting down to the sub-par flip and sales price of $350,000 (it’s a 1br east of 205). Also how long until all the working class folks on the street are forced out.

My general attitude these next four years. I lived through 9/11, 2016, 2020. If you think I’m going to lay down and accept “my new role” as an American woman, you are sadly mistaken.

#PDX - thrilled that none of the city council D1 “get rid of the Division median” candidates won

Really bummed the only canvassers I had in Portland D1 were for my HD! Come on, city council candidates, I’m really fun to talk to!