JonZoidberg
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JonZoidberg
@jonzoidberg.xyz
55K followers 49K following 6.6K posts
#Bluedot in a red sea, husband, dad to kids and fur kids. Nurse Anesthetist. Amateur baker and canner.
Blue crab of the resistance!
Trans rights are human rights.🏳️‍⚧️
Slava Ukraini! 🇺🇦
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jonzoidberg.xyz
A wonderful side effect of the Supreme Court's decision not to hear Kim Davis' bullshit appeal.
CONGRATULATIONS TO KIM DAVIS... ON HAVING TO PAY BACK MORE THAN $36OK IN DAMAGES AND LEGAL FEES. Mugshot of Kim Davis
November 10, 2025 at 9:38 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
Nepo baby who's never worked an afternoon in his whole life has some big words for people he and his forced to work for over a month for free.

How he fooled regular people into thinking he gave one shit about them is beyond me.
Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump All Air Traffic Controllers must get back to work, NOW!!! Anyone who doesn't will be substantially "docked." For those Air Traffic Controllers who who were GREAT PATRIOTS, and didn't take ANY TIME OFF for the "Democrat Shutdown Hoax," I will be recommending a BONUS of $10,000 per person for distinguished service to our Country. For those that did nothing but complain, and took time off, even though everyone knew they would be paid, IN FULL, shortly into the future, I am NOT HAPPY WITH YOU. You didn't step up to help the U.S.A. against the FAKE DEMOCRAT ATTACK that was only meant to hurt our Country. You will have a negative mark, at least in my mind, against your record. If you want to leave service in the near future, please do not hesitate to do so, with NO payment or severance of any kind! You will be quickly replaced by true Patriots, who will do a better job on the Brand New State of the Art Equipment, the best in the World, that we are in the process of ordering. The last "Administration" wasted Billions of Dollars trying to fix antiquated "junk." They had no idea what they were doing! Again, to our great American Patriots, GOD BLESS YOU - I won't be able to send your money fast enough! To all others, REPORT TO WORK IMMEDIATELY. GOD BLESS AMERICA! PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP 296 ReTruths 1k Likes Nov 10, 2025, 10:28 AM
November 10, 2025 at 8:08 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
If you're in this photo and considering a Senate run, millions of us are willing to hear you out.
Trump gets flipped off during an appearance at a Washington Commanders game
November 10, 2025 at 3:13 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
The real $2000 check was the friends we made along the way.

Just like leadership from Democrats, you'll never see that money.
November 10, 2025 at 5:26 AM
jonzoidberg.xyz
If MAGA brains were as developed as a toddler's, they might understand object permanence. Someday, maybe.
Some dickhead on Twitter says Zohran didn't have an American flag behind him during his victory speech, but they'd cropped out the American flag behind him, and someone replied with an uncropped view.
November 8, 2025 at 11:02 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
The Onion has continues to be one of the most respected genuine news outlets of the last decade.
Mike Johnson: 'My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor'
November 8, 2025 at 10:36 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
Welcome to the resistance.
ThePatrioticBlonde @ImBreckWorsham Dear @POTUS, I voted for you three times. I worked two of your presidential campaigns. I lost family over my support of you. I lost friends over my support of you. I lost business opportunities and clients due to my affiliation with you. But the gaslighting stops now. For you to stand up there last night and say that we are in the "golden era" and that America has never been better when we have members of our military going to food banks due to the Epstein shutdown and we are in the midst of the worst job market since 2008 is a slap in the face to the American people who believed in you, fought for you, voted for you and wanted more than anything to believe you when you promised to Make America Great Again. Children are starving due to no fault of their own. Senior citizens are going without their medications just so they can afford to eat. Politely shut the fuck up. We see you.
November 8, 2025 at 2:38 AM
jonzoidberg.xyz
Too much Ketamine, or not enough Ketamine?

Please watch Elon collapse in real time as he calls Mamdani a lifetime swindler and Joe Rogan asks for a single example. Just one.
November 8, 2025 at 2:29 AM
jonzoidberg.xyz
Next time, kick higher.
A political cartoon by Nick Anderson. A donkey laughs and wears a sign that says 2025 election. Trump walks away mad with donkey hoofprints on his ass.
November 8, 2025 at 2:11 AM
jonzoidberg.xyz
Why hasn't this been run by the Democrats constantly for the last 37 days and his previous record-setting shutdown?

There's always a tweet. Or a video.
November 7, 2025 at 8:22 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
In a row?
Tweet by :philthegr81 "37... My government's been shut down for 37 days!" A screenshot from the movie Clerks where Dante tells a customer that his girlfriend has sucked 37 dicks.
November 7, 2025 at 6:29 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
Yeah, but Sleepy Joe....
A dementia patient falls asleep during a meeting.
November 7, 2025 at 6:26 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
Look at this piece of shit. A man is being resuscitated on the floor and he's just mad he's not the center of attention.
Trump stands there like a jackass as a man is on the floor with his legs raised by bystanders to send blood to his brain.
November 7, 2025 at 2:11 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
Compare this video with the one from yesterday when a man passed out during a press conference and Trump did nothing but look pissed and RFK ran like he was about to be arrested.

Remember when our president was presidential? I do.
November 7, 2025 at 2:09 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
This is Project 2029:

Prison for all these assholes, and coordinate with state AsG so another corrupt Republican president can't spring them from jail.
November 7, 2025 at 1:55 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
A guy at Trump's press conference has a medical episode and RFK flees the scene and Trump is upset the spotlight isn't on him.

These are the fuckers they voted for. You think they give a shit about anyone?
November 7, 2025 at 12:51 AM
jonzoidberg.xyz
Wow. Just wow.
A person has a towel over their head and is pouring water on themselves. Captioned pouring one out for Dick Cheney
November 6, 2025 at 3:15 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
The cope... It's beautiful. 🤩
Whatever lets you keep feeding shit to morons I guess.
Laura Ingraham and Vivek Ramaswamy on Fox News. The chyron says by winning, the Democrats are actually losing
November 6, 2025 at 2:37 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
Trump wasn't on the ballot, huh? Even Faux News reported that 71% of Sherrill voters turned out to oppose him.

It was 100% a referendum. I don't give a shit what Jesse Watters copes about it.
November 6, 2025 at 12:49 AM
jonzoidberg.xyz
To everyone in this video:

HAHHAHHHAHAHHAA SUCK IT!
November 5, 2025 at 8:38 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!

It's because your husband is a cunt.
Katie Miller @KatieMiller X.com Why do you think Steve Schmidt had these plastered all over DC and Northern Virginia? Kenneth P. Vogel @kenvogel 3h The @SteveSchmidtSES-co-founded dark money group @SaveAmericaMvm has plastered these posters on a downtown DC construction site. Posters of Stephen Miller with the words Fascism isn't pretty over half and Creep over the other half.
November 5, 2025 at 5:53 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
California needs to charge this shithead before Trump pardons him.
"Today, United States Capitol Police announced that they arrested a suspect who had made death threats to Congressman Garcia. The suspect attempted to enter the Congressional complex and had sent a message to the Congressman's office stating that he was going to travel to Washington, D.C., to kill him," a spokesperson for Congressman Garcia's office said in a statement.
November 5, 2025 at 5:49 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
Democrats won big in blue AND red states. There was plenty for assholes to be demoralized about last night.

Cope harder, bitches.
Eric Daugherty @EricLDaugh Democrats winning in blue states is not a referendum on Trump. You will hear this lie from the left NONSTOP for the foreseeable future. Don't get demoralized.
November 5, 2025 at 5:43 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
Credit to Adam Ellis! @adamtots.bsky.social
November 5, 2025 at 3:20 PM
jonzoidberg.xyz
An artist's rendition of Twitter right now:
A comic of a fake tweet: NUTGUZZLER42 @hitlerball_lover1488 FUUUCK LOOK WHO THE RADICAL LEFT JUST ELECTED FUUUUCK FUUUUUCK WE'RE FUUUUUCKED Below is a politician holding a flower and saying: Together we can build a safer, cleaner city for our children!
November 5, 2025 at 3:12 PM