Jill Twiss
@jilltwiss.bsky.social
Comedy writer. "Have I Got News For You", "Last Week Tonight", "The Amber Ruffin Show." Author of "A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo" and "The Someone New." Friend to several penguins.
I think it’s that the pig was accused of both bribery and drug trafficking and it is unfair to put that on a new mayor. Just spitballing
December 10, 2025 at 4:19 PM
I think it’s that the pig was accused of both bribery and drug trafficking and it is unfair to put that on a new mayor. Just spitballing
Reposted by Jill Twiss
People can be so right but so deeply annoying that you almost — almost — decide to change your own beliefs just to hasten their demise.
December 10, 2025 at 2:29 PM
People can be so right but so deeply annoying that you almost — almost — decide to change your own beliefs just to hasten their demise.
TWO BABIES LOOK SAME NEED BOTH OR NO
December 9, 2025 at 11:25 PM
TWO BABIES LOOK SAME NEED BOTH OR NO
Well the flight was real but they decided to keep my bag in Denver for a day or two. Good thing I packed what can only be called an absurd amount of cheese to make my bag smell perfect
December 9, 2025 at 6:19 AM
Well the flight was real but they decided to keep my bag in Denver for a day or two. Good thing I packed what can only be called an absurd amount of cheese to make my bag smell perfect
Look the plane will take off and wherever it goes it gods will
December 8, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Look the plane will take off and wherever it goes it gods will
Flight CREDIT. Oh man the airport Prosecco really kicking in
December 8, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Flight CREDIT. Oh man the airport Prosecco really kicking in
My experience with it was weirdly great!
December 8, 2025 at 12:15 AM
My experience with it was weirdly great!
I think maybe you can do it later too as long as you're willing to play both parts
December 7, 2025 at 11:42 PM
I think maybe you can do it later too as long as you're willing to play both parts
no wait, one more: WHY DOES THE TANGO MANGO FLAVOR COST $79?!?!?!?!
December 6, 2025 at 9:30 PM
no wait, one more: WHY DOES THE TANGO MANGO FLAVOR COST $79?!?!?!?!
AND IN CASE YOU ARE WONDERING IT DOES NOT SMELL LIKE ANYTHING. ok now i'm getting defensive. I'll stop. It's fine to think an air freshener is a cool workout gadget. I'm still a good person.
December 6, 2025 at 9:29 PM
AND IN CASE YOU ARE WONDERING IT DOES NOT SMELL LIKE ANYTHING. ok now i'm getting defensive. I'll stop. It's fine to think an air freshener is a cool workout gadget. I'm still a good person.
IT WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO THE SMALL WEIGHTS AND FOAM ROLLERS
December 6, 2025 at 9:27 PM
IT WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO THE SMALL WEIGHTS AND FOAM ROLLERS
To answer the question, yes I was being completely serious. And it turns out it is the funniest possible answer. I was going to try to get snatched with a room deodorizer. bsky.app/profile/c5ch...
I used a free product from a company I hate that starts with G(oogle) to find this catalog.classicsolutionsinc.com/g/NILOUARDXX...
Nilodor® Ultra Air Room Deodorizer - Apple Spice | Classic Solutions
Nilodor® Ultra Air Room Deodorizer - Apple Spice | Can't spill or break. Easy to use. Fits TC® TimeMist®, Hospeco®, Kimberly Clark and Vectair® dispensers. No batteries required for dispenser. Gre...
catalog.classicsolutionsinc.com
December 6, 2025 at 9:21 PM
To answer the question, yes I was being completely serious. And it turns out it is the funniest possible answer. I was going to try to get snatched with a room deodorizer. bsky.app/profile/c5ch...
ok this is literally the funniest possible answer
December 6, 2025 at 9:20 PM
ok this is literally the funniest possible answer