Jeff Strand
@jeffstrand.bsky.social
Bram Stoker Award-winning author of gobs of books, mostly horror/comedy. WGA screenwriter. Bridgett Nelson’s scorching hot boyfriend. https://linktr.ee/jeffstrandauthor
It's been a while since my last newsletter--the dry spell ends soon! Learn about 6 upcoming books, plus my new Patreon serial. This time, the brand-new story is "The Bidet That Sprayed Acid Instead of Water, And How It Negatively Impacted One's Family's Happiness." Subscribe now! eepurl.com/dewPc9
Jeff Strand
Jeff Strand Email Forms
eepurl.com
November 24, 2025 at 10:59 PM
It's been a while since my last newsletter--the dry spell ends soon! Learn about 6 upcoming books, plus my new Patreon serial. This time, the brand-new story is "The Bidet That Sprayed Acid Instead of Water, And How It Negatively Impacted One's Family's Happiness." Subscribe now! eepurl.com/dewPc9
WHITE NOISE PRESS - THE CHAPBOOKS is available now! I did two chapbooks with them, the double-sided FUNNY STORIES OF SCARY SEX (with "Sex Potion #147" and "Werewolf Porno"), and BAD BRATWURST, and it's all here, with much, much more! www.amazon.com/dp/B0G36L5T2L
White Noise Press – The Chapbooks
Amazon.com: White Noise Press – The Chapbooks eBook : Minnion - Editor, Keith: Kindle Store
www.amazon.com
November 24, 2025 at 10:04 PM
WHITE NOISE PRESS - THE CHAPBOOKS is available now! I did two chapbooks with them, the double-sided FUNNY STORIES OF SCARY SEX (with "Sex Potion #147" and "Werewolf Porno"), and BAD BRATWURST, and it's all here, with much, much more! www.amazon.com/dp/B0G36L5T2L
No, Microsoft Word, “jumbuck” is most certainly not what I meant.
November 22, 2025 at 9:07 PM
No, Microsoft Word, “jumbuck” is most certainly not what I meant.
Times are tough. Chaos has resorted to OnlyFans.
November 20, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Times are tough. Chaos has resorted to OnlyFans.
Bridgett Nelson's newest--and best!--book comes out December 9th! But you can be an early adopter of this splatterpunk revenge thriller by pre-ordering the Kindle edition! www.amazon.com/dp/B0G2TMLQLV
November 19, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Bridgett Nelson's newest--and best!--book comes out December 9th! But you can be an early adopter of this splatterpunk revenge thriller by pre-ordering the Kindle edition! www.amazon.com/dp/B0G2TMLQLV
On December 9th, the grueling terror comes to your ears! But you can pre-order YOUR BODY WILL NEVER BE FOUND, narrated by the lovely and talented Scott Thomas, today! www.audible.com/pd/Your-Body...
Your Body Will Never Be Found
Check out this great listen on Audible.com. "If you're here, you're clearly lost. What you do next will determine if you stay that way." It's hard to truly get lost in 2025, but Arden trusted his GPS ...
www.audible.com
November 17, 2025 at 10:14 PM
On December 9th, the grueling terror comes to your ears! But you can pre-order YOUR BODY WILL NEVER BE FOUND, narrated by the lovely and talented Scott Thomas, today! www.audible.com/pd/Your-Body...
Credit where it’s due: Trump has done one hell of a job distracting us from his tax returns!
November 17, 2025 at 3:03 AM
Credit where it’s due: Trump has done one hell of a job distracting us from his tax returns!
I hear ya, Chaos.
November 14, 2025 at 7:29 PM
I hear ya, Chaos.
Fun Fact: An innocent man would investigate everybody.
November 14, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Fun Fact: An innocent man would investigate everybody.
In a world where AI-generated scams are sending me extremely detailed descriptions of my books, how is anybody still doing this shit?
November 13, 2025 at 8:00 PM
In a world where AI-generated scams are sending me extremely detailed descriptions of my books, how is anybody still doing this shit?
NARRATOR: It was not a reasonable price.
November 13, 2025 at 5:10 PM
NARRATOR: It was not a reasonable price.
GOP: "We will continue to fight against the release of the Epstein Files, because they show President Trump in such a brave and heroic light that he'd be embarrassed by the attention."
November 13, 2025 at 4:24 AM
GOP: "We will continue to fight against the release of the Epstein Files, because they show President Trump in such a brave and heroic light that he'd be embarrassed by the attention."
Woo-hoo! I can go back to not having to think about this vile hag!
November 10, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Woo-hoo! I can go back to not having to think about this vile hag!
FREDDY KRUEGER: Give me what I want now, and I'll be happy to discuss not killing you in your dreams at a later time.
CONGRESSIONAL DEMOCRATS: Sounds good to us!
CONGRESSIONAL DEMOCRATS: Sounds good to us!
November 10, 2025 at 3:14 PM
FREDDY KRUEGER: Give me what I want now, and I'll be happy to discuss not killing you in your dreams at a later time.
CONGRESSIONAL DEMOCRATS: Sounds good to us!
CONGRESSIONAL DEMOCRATS: Sounds good to us!
The lobster truck is in town!!!
November 9, 2025 at 7:08 PM
The lobster truck is in town!!!
Coming soon to my Patreon. Cover by @ruthannaevans.bsky.social.
November 8, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Coming soon to my Patreon. Cover by @ruthannaevans.bsky.social.
Dear God...now nobody will be safe from flung subs!
November 6, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Dear God...now nobody will be safe from flung subs!
My act of heroism for the day: I disabled CoPilot on my mom's computer.
November 6, 2025 at 7:18 PM
My act of heroism for the day: I disabled CoPilot on my mom's computer.
Ouch. Trump is going to have to release the Epstein Files to distract from these election results!
November 5, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Ouch. Trump is going to have to release the Epstein Files to distract from these election results!
Halloween doesn't have to end! IT WATCHES IN THE DARK is $1.99 all month, wherever you buy e-books!
November 4, 2025 at 11:49 PM
Halloween doesn't have to end! IT WATCHES IN THE DARK is $1.99 all month, wherever you buy e-books!
DICK CHENEY: Hey, this special place in Hell isn't as bad as I expected!
SATAN: Yeah, a lot has changed, and we need to reserve the space.
SATAN: Yeah, a lot has changed, and we need to reserve the space.
November 4, 2025 at 5:12 PM
DICK CHENEY: Hey, this special place in Hell isn't as bad as I expected!
SATAN: Yeah, a lot has changed, and we need to reserve the space.
SATAN: Yeah, a lot has changed, and we need to reserve the space.
Ignore the liberal hoax. Silver Shamrock masks are totally fine for your children to wear.
October 31, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Ignore the liberal hoax. Silver Shamrock masks are totally fine for your children to wear.