Jane Torbeck
@janetorbeck.bsky.social
Just chunter on about whatever I fancy- books, horror, fitness, food, games, weird perfume.
If you liked a fart joke I made on the internet, maybe you’ll enjoy my daft comedy-horror novel Gymkharnage: A Pony Book https://mybook.to/jQesg
If you liked a fart joke I made on the internet, maybe you’ll enjoy my daft comedy-horror novel Gymkharnage: A Pony Book https://mybook.to/jQesg
Reposted by Jane Torbeck
this would be many of you when faced with a HELLRAISER-esque scenario
February 8, 2026 at 3:26 PM
this would be many of you when faced with a HELLRAISER-esque scenario
Angel Down. Against the thundering, bloody backdrop of WW1, five lost and traumatised men are sent careening through the trenches on a desperate mission to save a downed angel in hopes she can end the war. Beautifully written in one long, breathless sentence like a never-ending scream 🩸📚💙
February 8, 2026 at 10:30 AM
Angel Down. Against the thundering, bloody backdrop of WW1, five lost and traumatised men are sent careening through the trenches on a desperate mission to save a downed angel in hopes she can end the war. Beautifully written in one long, breathless sentence like a never-ending scream 🩸📚💙
Reasons to journal:
- Good for mental health ❎😡🤮
- Record precious memories ❎😡🤮
- Provide valuable enrichment for future historians ❎😡🤮
- Can buy more notebooks ✅ 🥳👍
- Good for mental health ❎😡🤮
- Record precious memories ❎😡🤮
- Provide valuable enrichment for future historians ❎😡🤮
- Can buy more notebooks ✅ 🥳👍
February 7, 2026 at 2:40 PM
Reasons to journal:
- Good for mental health ❎😡🤮
- Record precious memories ❎😡🤮
- Provide valuable enrichment for future historians ❎😡🤮
- Can buy more notebooks ✅ 🥳👍
- Good for mental health ❎😡🤮
- Record precious memories ❎😡🤮
- Provide valuable enrichment for future historians ❎😡🤮
- Can buy more notebooks ✅ 🥳👍
Reposted by Jane Torbeck
Neil Gaiman: it's me neil gaiman, imagineer and dreamweaver
Gaiman: have you ever considered
Gaiman: the incredible power of story?
Gaiman: but perhaps even more powerful are the stories that we don't tell
Gaiman: anyway here's my NDA
Gaiman: have you ever considered
Gaiman: the incredible power of story?
Gaiman: but perhaps even more powerful are the stories that we don't tell
Gaiman: anyway here's my NDA
February 3, 2026 at 11:11 PM
Neil Gaiman: it's me neil gaiman, imagineer and dreamweaver
Gaiman: have you ever considered
Gaiman: the incredible power of story?
Gaiman: but perhaps even more powerful are the stories that we don't tell
Gaiman: anyway here's my NDA
Gaiman: have you ever considered
Gaiman: the incredible power of story?
Gaiman: but perhaps even more powerful are the stories that we don't tell
Gaiman: anyway here's my NDA
In a Downton Abbey/Gossip Girls mash-up, Bunty Cutler would be an absolutely fantastic pen name for the mysterious source that’s all over the society pages revealing juicy secrets from inside the house.
February 2, 2026 at 10:01 AM
In a Downton Abbey/Gossip Girls mash-up, Bunty Cutler would be an absolutely fantastic pen name for the mysterious source that’s all over the society pages revealing juicy secrets from inside the house.
I make fun of generative AI, but my piece of ChatGPT shit brain is incapable of generating a normal cinema in my dreams. Always ends up the size of Wales & designed by Escher with literally not one seat facing the screen. Did save me from having to watch Silent Hill Returns in my dreams though 👍
February 1, 2026 at 12:37 PM
I make fun of generative AI, but my piece of ChatGPT shit brain is incapable of generating a normal cinema in my dreams. Always ends up the size of Wales & designed by Escher with literally not one seat facing the screen. Did save me from having to watch Silent Hill Returns in my dreams though 👍
A slightly perturbing start to the day, as I wonder for exactly how long I have been walking around with a (just discovered) hole in the seat of my jeans. It probably just happened in the last wash, very probably 👍
January 17, 2026 at 10:58 AM
A slightly perturbing start to the day, as I wonder for exactly how long I have been walking around with a (just discovered) hole in the seat of my jeans. It probably just happened in the last wash, very probably 👍
The fuck is wrong with you, Baby?
(Baby’s Diary, 1920 Girl’s Own Annual. Appears to be confessions of a very literate and bloodthirsty two year old as she ruins her aunts’ pleasant spinster lives. Warning for a near-miss for Tiddles the cat, after Baby comes at him with a pair of scissors) 💙📚
(Baby’s Diary, 1920 Girl’s Own Annual. Appears to be confessions of a very literate and bloodthirsty two year old as she ruins her aunts’ pleasant spinster lives. Warning for a near-miss for Tiddles the cat, after Baby comes at him with a pair of scissors) 💙📚
January 3, 2026 at 6:46 PM
The fuck is wrong with you, Baby?
(Baby’s Diary, 1920 Girl’s Own Annual. Appears to be confessions of a very literate and bloodthirsty two year old as she ruins her aunts’ pleasant spinster lives. Warning for a near-miss for Tiddles the cat, after Baby comes at him with a pair of scissors) 💙📚
(Baby’s Diary, 1920 Girl’s Own Annual. Appears to be confessions of a very literate and bloodthirsty two year old as she ruins her aunts’ pleasant spinster lives. Warning for a near-miss for Tiddles the cat, after Baby comes at him with a pair of scissors) 💙📚
A successful antique market visit to pick up some highly eclectic reading material (see, I don’t always read horror! Sometimes I read enormous illustrated histories of the rocking horse with over 700 colour photos and/or 1920s editions of The Girl’s Own Annual) 💙📚
December 30, 2025 at 1:52 PM
A successful antique market visit to pick up some highly eclectic reading material (see, I don’t always read horror! Sometimes I read enormous illustrated histories of the rocking horse with over 700 colour photos and/or 1920s editions of The Girl’s Own Annual) 💙📚
After my success with the grey cat yesterday, I also managed to lure the little white and black cat (second from right) into sleeping on my lap this morning, followed by the beefy lad with the shredded ear (far left) when he realised he was missing out. 3/9 farm cats befriended, not bad at all!
December 27, 2025 at 4:09 PM
After my success with the grey cat yesterday, I also managed to lure the little white and black cat (second from right) into sleeping on my lap this morning, followed by the beefy lad with the shredded ear (far left) when he realised he was missing out. 3/9 farm cats befriended, not bad at all!
A photo featuring but a fraction of the many farm cats I spent my Christmas trying to befriend.
(I actually only counted nine cats, but 5/9 is still a fraction).
(I actually only counted nine cats, but 5/9 is still a fraction).
December 26, 2025 at 3:59 PM
A photo featuring but a fraction of the many farm cats I spent my Christmas trying to befriend.
(I actually only counted nine cats, but 5/9 is still a fraction).
(I actually only counted nine cats, but 5/9 is still a fraction).
I mostly play horror, but at some point, a game had a tag for a bit of inconsequential nudity and Steam absolutely WILL NOT LET THIS GO. Every time I log in, a list of nude game recommendations for me, the nudey game enthusiast. I’m pretty sure it was like.. Slay The Princess or something too.
December 23, 2025 at 1:27 PM
I mostly play horror, but at some point, a game had a tag for a bit of inconsequential nudity and Steam absolutely WILL NOT LET THIS GO. Every time I log in, a list of nude game recommendations for me, the nudey game enthusiast. I’m pretty sure it was like.. Slay The Princess or something too.
#sotd is Chivitavecchia by Possets. A fresh green lemon with sage and unusual mineral-like notes from whatever provides the ‘limestoney base’. Cool, salty, stony and bright; it’s a bit of a summery choice for me on a misty December morning in the UK, but I’m not regretting it #fragrancesky
December 21, 2025 at 9:35 AM
#sotd is Chivitavecchia by Possets. A fresh green lemon with sage and unusual mineral-like notes from whatever provides the ‘limestoney base’. Cool, salty, stony and bright; it’s a bit of a summery choice for me on a misty December morning in the UK, but I’m not regretting it #fragrancesky
Reposted by Jane Torbeck
Searching for a new litterbox and dying laughing at this cat who looks like a toilet astronaut.
December 7, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Searching for a new litterbox and dying laughing at this cat who looks like a toilet astronaut.
Not sure how my order for two eggs sunny side up got misheard as FIVE eggs, but looks like I’m breakfasting like Gaston today.
November 30, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Not sure how my order for two eggs sunny side up got misheard as FIVE eggs, but looks like I’m breakfasting like Gaston today.
Top 2025 read! Repercussions elegantly spiral on & on through a decades-long story of 6 friends who make a deal with something terrible & are trapped in a world-changing cycle of pain & sacrifice. Heartbreaking, almost infuriatingly clever & witty, like the awful, charismatic King Sorrow himself 🩸📚💙
November 22, 2025 at 12:56 PM
Top 2025 read! Repercussions elegantly spiral on & on through a decades-long story of 6 friends who make a deal with something terrible & are trapped in a world-changing cycle of pain & sacrifice. Heartbreaking, almost infuriatingly clever & witty, like the awful, charismatic King Sorrow himself 🩸📚💙
#sotd is By Rosie Jane’s Lake. Fresh, pretty, very like a softer version of Byredo’s G-Water, minus the juniper. Mostly lemon, an airy vanilla, and very light woodsy & green notes on me. A pleasant, bright office fragrance that offends no one & still keeps my nose reasonably interested #fragrancesky
November 18, 2025 at 4:06 PM
#sotd is By Rosie Jane’s Lake. Fresh, pretty, very like a softer version of Byredo’s G-Water, minus the juniper. Mostly lemon, an airy vanilla, and very light woodsy & green notes on me. A pleasant, bright office fragrance that offends no one & still keeps my nose reasonably interested #fragrancesky
This may not be the most sophisticated post I’ve ever made, but this absolutely perfect description of a fart has me wheezing. I can hear this exact sound, as if the echoes of this poor soul’s monstrous fart will reverberate forever.
November 8, 2025 at 10:23 AM
This may not be the most sophisticated post I’ve ever made, but this absolutely perfect description of a fart has me wheezing. I can hear this exact sound, as if the echoes of this poor soul’s monstrous fart will reverberate forever.
We Love You, Bunny. A Bunny prequel in which the Mean Girls hivemind transforms their first unfortunate bunny into a beautiful, tragic himbo axeman, who embarks on a weird, touching and sometimes murderous journey to find autonomy & also delicious flowers. Surreal, hilarious, dark & slyly clever 🩸📚💙
November 4, 2025 at 3:54 AM
We Love You, Bunny. A Bunny prequel in which the Mean Girls hivemind transforms their first unfortunate bunny into a beautiful, tragic himbo axeman, who embarks on a weird, touching and sometimes murderous journey to find autonomy & also delicious flowers. Surreal, hilarious, dark & slyly clever 🩸📚💙
Probably should have run yesterday’s 5k slower considering I haven’t run 5k in months, but my new colleagues all run like majestic gazelles and there was pressure to also win a certified fast person T-shirt for the group photo (I am a certified fast person! With sore legs, but also a free T-shirt 👍)
November 1, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Probably should have run yesterday’s 5k slower considering I haven’t run 5k in months, but my new colleagues all run like majestic gazelles and there was pressure to also win a certified fast person T-shirt for the group photo (I am a certified fast person! With sore legs, but also a free T-shirt 👍)
#sotd is What I Did On My Holidays by 4160 Tuesdays, a delightfully weird & happy seaside fragrance. I mostly get a vanilla-mint, like peppermint rock, plus lavender, a waft of candyfloss, a bit of saltwater & seaweed and a dollop of coconutty sun cream. Sweet, nostalgic & lighthearted #fragrancesky
October 22, 2025 at 4:20 PM
#sotd is What I Did On My Holidays by 4160 Tuesdays, a delightfully weird & happy seaside fragrance. I mostly get a vanilla-mint, like peppermint rock, plus lavender, a waft of candyfloss, a bit of saltwater & seaweed and a dollop of coconutty sun cream. Sweet, nostalgic & lighthearted #fragrancesky
Working overseas for a few months, and every time I grab my bucket of iced coffee and climb into my massive American hire car, I sing. “Twelve yards long, two lanes wide, 65 tons of American pride! Canyonero! Canyonerooooo”
m.youtube.com/watch?v=PI_J...
m.youtube.com/watch?v=PI_J...
The Simpsons - Canyonero
YouTube video by Waluigi
m.youtube.com
October 19, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Working overseas for a few months, and every time I grab my bucket of iced coffee and climb into my massive American hire car, I sing. “Twelve yards long, two lanes wide, 65 tons of American pride! Canyonero! Canyonerooooo”
m.youtube.com/watch?v=PI_J...
m.youtube.com/watch?v=PI_J...
Old Soul by Susan Barker. Unsettling & sinister testimonies of lives torn apart over the years & across the world by an ageless woman. She takes their photo, they die with their organs & features mirrored. Plot is focused more on the destructive reverberations of the woman’s unnatural existence 🩸📚💙
October 19, 2025 at 3:59 AM
Old Soul by Susan Barker. Unsettling & sinister testimonies of lives torn apart over the years & across the world by an ageless woman. She takes their photo, they die with their organs & features mirrored. Plot is focused more on the destructive reverberations of the woman’s unnatural existence 🩸📚💙
Genuinely tickled that @mikebrooks668.bsky.social is getting excellent feedback on his new novel Voidscarred, and my contribution was not to the ‘extremely intelligent conversation’ about subterranean engineering, but to the sexy wild space elves not smelling like Sauvage or whatever. I’M HELPING! 🤗
Thank you! I must credit fellow author @janetorbeck.bsky.social who also does a lot of perfume stuff, who was very helpful when I asked “what would a sexy wild space elf smell like?”
October 14, 2025 at 8:02 AM
Genuinely tickled that @mikebrooks668.bsky.social is getting excellent feedback on his new novel Voidscarred, and my contribution was not to the ‘extremely intelligent conversation’ about subterranean engineering, but to the sexy wild space elves not smelling like Sauvage or whatever. I’M HELPING! 🤗
Tipped 50% at the car wash out of shame and guilt as I watched them spray off moss chunks and dislodge evil ooze from the wheel arches.
Realised it’s the first time I’ve taken my car for a proper wash.
I’ve owned it for over TEN YEARS.
(my car is a very forgiving grey and it rains a lot here? 😅)
Realised it’s the first time I’ve taken my car for a proper wash.
I’ve owned it for over TEN YEARS.
(my car is a very forgiving grey and it rains a lot here? 😅)
October 11, 2025 at 12:20 PM
Tipped 50% at the car wash out of shame and guilt as I watched them spray off moss chunks and dislodge evil ooze from the wheel arches.
Realised it’s the first time I’ve taken my car for a proper wash.
I’ve owned it for over TEN YEARS.
(my car is a very forgiving grey and it rains a lot here? 😅)
Realised it’s the first time I’ve taken my car for a proper wash.
I’ve owned it for over TEN YEARS.
(my car is a very forgiving grey and it rains a lot here? 😅)