Jane Torbeck
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janetorbeck.bsky.social
Jane Torbeck
@janetorbeck.bsky.social
75 followers 63 following 180 posts
Just chunter on about whatever I fancy- books, horror, fitness, food, games, weird perfume. If you liked a fart joke I made on the internet, maybe you’ll enjoy my daft comedy-horror novel Gymkharnage: A Pony Book https://mybook.to/jQesg
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Working overseas for a few months, and every time I grab my bucket of iced coffee and climb into my massive American hire car, I sing. “Twelve yards long, two lanes wide, 65 tons of American pride! Canyonero! Canyonerooooo”

m.youtube.com/watch?v=PI_J...
The Simpsons - Canyonero
YouTube video by Waluigi
m.youtube.com
Old Soul by Susan Barker. Unsettling & sinister testimonies of lives torn apart over the years & across the world by an ageless woman. She takes their photo, they die with their organs & features mirrored. Plot is focused more on the destructive reverberations of the woman’s unnatural existence 🩸📚💙
Must try these! I love dark, interesting and weird takes on rose fragrances.
Genuinely tickled that @mikebrooks668.bsky.social is getting excellent feedback on his new novel Voidscarred, and my contribution was not to the ‘extremely intelligent conversation’ about subterranean engineering, but to the sexy wild space elves not smelling like Sauvage or whatever. I’M HELPING! 🤗
Thank you! I must credit fellow author @janetorbeck.bsky.social who also does a lot of perfume stuff, who was very helpful when I asked “what would a sexy wild space elf smell like?”
Tipped 50% at the car wash out of shame and guilt as I watched them spray off moss chunks and dislodge evil ooze from the wheel arches.

Realised it’s the first time I’ve taken my car for a proper wash.

I’ve owned it for over TEN YEARS.

(my car is a very forgiving grey and it rains a lot here? 😅)
Took part in a Crystal Maze experience for my birthday. My band of creaky millennials didn’t exactly clean the place out of crystals, but Richard O’Brien didn’t lock me in an Aztec temple and leave me for dead, so at least I can finally put that childhood fear to rest 💎
Staying near a restaurant I love & agonising over whether to go for known favourites (Xinjiang big plate chicken or Geleshan chicken) or try something new. Had my eye on the beancurd with salted duck egg yolk for ages, but that winter special sounds phenomenal on a miserable, wet & windy day.
I also have a bag of exciting things to dip into during my pseudo-hangover, since my colleagues kindly collated me an amazing international haul.

(I am British, but the YouTube algorithms reckoned I’d enjoy jealously watching people rate Trader Joe’s hauls and they were right. Now I have my own!)
Had a leaving do last night, at which I had a whopping 3x half-pints and am consequently not even remotely hungover, but I’ve already committed to wallowing on the couch all day feeling like a tragic martyr, so I see no reason to change my plans.
I think I’d be sort of glad they only got a few bits.. and sort of offended on behalf of my car that apparently it wasn’t good enough to steal and they were more excited about the charging cable!
Me too! The park apparently has a niche in “unsettling rides in which you cling onto an unsteady plastic horse” because it’s also got a rollercoaster with that theme (Steeplechase). Which does have buckle harnesses.. but my poor stepmum once went all the way round the track without wearing hers 😂
My favourite remains the Derby Racer, which is surprisingly thrilling for a carousel. Massive horses that go very fast, lots of sudden lurching and centrifugal force with no harnesses, so some hanging on is required.
Had a pleasingly nostalgic day at Blackpool Pleasure Beach with my siblings. It’s a bit rough round the edges & there is some risk of getting violently mugged by the most incredibly beefy seagulls I have ever seen (making some impressive gains on a diet of pure chips), but the rides are still good!
Same, I am perfectly willing to believe that there are actually some really good Fantastic Four stories, but I have just never managed to find the enthusiasm to even let a film stream for 20 minutes in the background and see if it gets my attention.
In conclusion, Bloober Team need to get a wiggle on with the Silent Hill 1 remake so I can gain more data on my true apparent age as assessed by how closely I resemble a responsible purchaser of fucked-up monster games.

(and also so I can play the Silent Hill 1 remake)
Last year I bought Silent Hill 2 and got asked if it was a Christmas present for my son, today I bought Silent Hill f and got IDed under a Challenge 25 policy.
You Weren’t Meant To Be Human. Raw, uncompromising & brutal horror about a pregnant trans man trapped by a cult serving an alien hive mind. A deeply troubled but tenacious protagonist clinging on by his fingernails with complex trauma that isn’t polished up to be all clean & unproblematic 🩸📚💙
#sotd is an indie favourite- Gargoyle by Nui Cobalt. A soft, wistful blend of lavender, rain, cool stone and a very gentle cathedral incense. Very calm and tranquil, good choice for a quiet rainy evening #fragrancesky
Me too! It’s a nice homage to the genre, and an interesting contrast with the protagonist being kind of tired and depressed and not feeling particularly sparkly and magical at all at the start of the novel.
Read A Magical Girl Retires by Park Seolyeon. Quick read about a weary millennial woman struggling with credit card debt, unrealised dreams and climate change anxiety who gets called to action as a magical girl even though she’s nearly 30. Whimsical, a little melancholic, but hopeful 🪐📚💙
Some interesting new smells from UK brands Rosefox Candles and Diem. Particularly excited for Quiet Riot perfume (matcha, basil, mandarin) and Southern Gothic candle (saffron, sweet tea, peach). Not sure which Diem sample will be my #sotd just yet #fragrancesky
Enjoy, I reckon you’re in for a very good time!
One of the first books I bought online on the recommendation of goth Livejournal! I give all my Billy Martin/PZB novels a re-read every few years; wish he’d been able to continue writing, but what we got was truly excellent ❤️
I would like to find out more, but what if the algorithms know me better than I know myself and watching Lord Farquaad do my makeup IS the key to deep and restful sleep every night? Some parts of the psyche may be best left a mystery.
The secret fear that I may actually be the person that YouTube recommendation algorithms think I am.