Thats next level! You might have to post the recipe.

Thats the best compliment. Did she go for it straight from the container?

I knew it! Gotta go call my mom and tell her I told you so.

Its the number one reason not to play tackle football at a dog park.

Better than getting shitfaced with a face covered in shit.

I know. New best practices.

Remove all social media apps from your phone during travel.

And more, much more than this, I did it my way.

You can tell that any further explanation would be so much worse. Its definitely not a "lied about her age on tinder and we hooked up once" excuse. Its a "she went to that school, but I wasn't her teacher, so we dated".

I forgot the mug part once. I felt like a spectator. "Oh no, thats going to be a mess for somebody!"