JaayEmmBee
@jaayemmbee.bsky.social
Just a drummer who enjoys food, robots and a bunch of other nerdy stuff!
He/Him
He/Him
I had to sit through a PSHE lesson on Gender Identity and Transitioning and it was rather hopeful until it went “but actually if you pray and have faith in God, he’ll show you that you don’t need to transition because he already made you who you’re meant to be”
November 26, 2025 at 8:26 PM
I had to sit through a PSHE lesson on Gender Identity and Transitioning and it was rather hopeful until it went “but actually if you pray and have faith in God, he’ll show you that you don’t need to transition because he already made you who you’re meant to be”
I bought beard oil for the first time
November 25, 2025 at 5:03 PM
I bought beard oil for the first time
I think I’m going to hire a space where we can all go and just scream for a little while, who wants in?
November 24, 2025 at 5:17 PM
I think I’m going to hire a space where we can all go and just scream for a little while, who wants in?
Reposted by JaayEmmBee
![[Scene is JESUS sat behind a boss’s desk in his office on a cloud in HEAVEN]
1
JESUS [speaking into intercom]
Hi can you send in Saint Nicholas please
2
SANTA [entering in full Santa garb]:
Hi boss
JESUS:
Hi Nick
3
JESUS:
Listen - about this ‘my birthday’ thing...
SANTA:
Ohh not this again boss
4
JESUS:
Nick, it’s out of hand. *You’ve* got out of hand.
5
JESUS:
I mean when I hired you, you was all humble, hiding under windows, lobbing in dowries…
And now you’re like…
6
JESUS [gesturing disdainfully at Santa’s clothing]:
I mean - what’s this.
7
SANTA:
This is my get up! I’ve had this since the Coca Cola deal in the 30s
JESUS:
*That’s what I mean.*
8
JESUS:
You’ve just gone too -
SANTA:
Oh no, oh no -
9
SANTA:
Sorry boss but waaay back in the Reformation, right, Martin Luther said: “why don’t we have Jesus delivering the presents?”. And when he prayed to ask you, do you remember what you said? Eh?
10
SANTA:
You said: “I ain’t going back there”
11
SANTA:
If you wanna take over -
JESUS:
Oh yeah! Kids coming downstairs to find me resurrected in their living room going "I got you an Xbox"...
12
SANTA:
You’re just feeling threatened cos I’m doing a bloody good -
JESUS:
*WATCH IT NICK*.
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiayhglimve4fbwilzyfjedpa56xwmjq4oriqqs62atkospprs6x5y@jpeg)
Guys, sometimes you just nail some parallel parking
November 22, 2025 at 10:40 PM
Guys, sometimes you just nail some parallel parking
Guess who accidentally ingested a nut last night (I feel not so fabulous)
November 22, 2025 at 12:29 PM
Guess who accidentally ingested a nut last night (I feel not so fabulous)
Saw The Northern Boys last night. Absolute trash, loved it.
November 20, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Saw The Northern Boys last night. Absolute trash, loved it.
Reposted by JaayEmmBee
![[Scene is a kitchen - a middle aged woman called JANET is boiling peas at the stove. A younger more colourfully dressed woman named LIZ approached her.]
JANET:
Ugh...
LIZ:
What's up?
JANET:
I am so bored of cooking peas!
LIZ:
Have you tried...
AI peas?
JANET:
AI peas?
LIZ:
They're peas with AI!
[Liz holds up to us a packet of peas labelled: Pea-i AI - Peas with AI].
LIZ:
Al-powered peas harness the potential of your peas
JANET:
What
LIZ [Now a voiceover as we cut to a whizzy technology diagram of peas all connected by meaningless dotted lines]
Why not take your peas to the next level with Al Peas' new Al tools to power your peas?
[Show a techno diagram of a pea with a label reading 'AI' pointing to a random zone in it]
LIZ:
Each pea has Al in a way we haven't quite worked out yet but it's fine
[Show Janet and Liz now in a Matrix-style world of peas]
LIZ:
With Al peas you can supercharge productivity and make AI work for your peas!
JANET:
What
LIZ:
Shut up
LIZ:
Our game-changing Pea-Al gives you the freedom to unlock the potential of the power of the future of your peas workflow
From opening the bag of peas
to boiling the peas
to eating the peas
To spending millions on adding Al to the peas and then having to work out what that even means.
JANET:
Is it really necessary to-
LIZ [Grabbing Janet by the collar]:
THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI, JANET
[Cut to an advert ending screen, with the bag of peas and the slogan:
AI PEAS: Just 'Peas' for god's sake buy the AI peas.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiayqa37f7kik7l7s7fbtfp2sir5ckb662ry2lylinyjrfa2rkvvka@jpeg)
I got told by the university to use AI to do my essay. That doesn’t sit right with me at all
November 10, 2025 at 10:04 PM
I got told by the university to use AI to do my essay. That doesn’t sit right with me at all
There just might not be anything better than saving money on car insurance
November 8, 2025 at 2:16 PM
There just might not be anything better than saving money on car insurance
My body has no energy at all, I’m so fatigued and struggling to breathe but I have to go into school tomorrow and teach because sick days aren’t accounted for in the first term. Whoops
November 3, 2025 at 4:27 PM
My body has no energy at all, I’m so fatigued and struggling to breathe but I have to go into school tomorrow and teach because sick days aren’t accounted for in the first term. Whoops
I spent the whole half term sick as heck and only now it’s over have I managed to see a nurse. She was very sympathetic though, turns out I had the Covid and although it’s clearing up it gave an opportunity for a separate chest and throat infection to get it. Check in on your immunocompromised pals
November 3, 2025 at 2:37 PM
I spent the whole half term sick as heck and only now it’s over have I managed to see a nurse. She was very sympathetic though, turns out I had the Covid and although it’s clearing up it gave an opportunity for a separate chest and throat infection to get it. Check in on your immunocompromised pals
There was a flag covered “keep Britain British” protest in Blackpool yesterday. Just when you think Blackpool has it rough, the stupidest people you’ve ever seen in your life come out and make it worse.
November 2, 2025 at 5:15 PM
There was a flag covered “keep Britain British” protest in Blackpool yesterday. Just when you think Blackpool has it rough, the stupidest people you’ve ever seen in your life come out and make it worse.
Guess who got Covid again
October 30, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Guess who got Covid again
If you see this, quote with a robot that isn’t from “Star Wars,” “Star Trek,” “Doctor Who,” or “Transformers”.
October 30, 2025 at 11:22 AM
If you see this, quote with a robot that isn’t from “Star Wars,” “Star Trek,” “Doctor Who,” or “Transformers”.
I don’t know man, just let people take the chocolate
October 30, 2025 at 10:40 AM
I don’t know man, just let people take the chocolate
I woke up to a moderate boost to my credit score. I haven’t done anything to warrant it but okay
October 29, 2025 at 9:05 AM
I woke up to a moderate boost to my credit score. I haven’t done anything to warrant it but okay
The amount of innuendo and implication in this Apothecary Diaries show is something else huh
October 28, 2025 at 5:38 PM
The amount of innuendo and implication in this Apothecary Diaries show is something else huh
I tired to pose these guys but realistically I think they need stands in their butts
October 28, 2025 at 3:11 PM
I tired to pose these guys but realistically I think they need stands in their butts
I’m going on an actual night out on Friday. A Halloween themed “Emo Night”. I should very much be in my zone
October 27, 2025 at 7:00 PM
I’m going on an actual night out on Friday. A Halloween themed “Emo Night”. I should very much be in my zone
Reposted by JaayEmmBee
Brianna Ghey's mum is worse than Captain Tom's granddaughter sorry.
Daughter is murdered by a gang of transphobic kids and the response is to start "mental elf 💔❤️🩹" grifting and lobbying for phone bans.
At least Captain Tom's fam were selfish little pricks. Ghey's are doing THIS.
🧵👇
Daughter is murdered by a gang of transphobic kids and the response is to start "mental elf 💔❤️🩹" grifting and lobbying for phone bans.
At least Captain Tom's fam were selfish little pricks. Ghey's are doing THIS.
🧵👇
October 5, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Brianna Ghey's mum is worse than Captain Tom's granddaughter sorry.
Daughter is murdered by a gang of transphobic kids and the response is to start "mental elf 💔❤️🩹" grifting and lobbying for phone bans.
At least Captain Tom's fam were selfish little pricks. Ghey's are doing THIS.
🧵👇
Daughter is murdered by a gang of transphobic kids and the response is to start "mental elf 💔❤️🩹" grifting and lobbying for phone bans.
At least Captain Tom's fam were selfish little pricks. Ghey's are doing THIS.
🧵👇
I started putting all my Polaroids in a binder and it makes me really happy that I now have two pages of lovely Transformers peeps
October 27, 2025 at 11:39 AM
I started putting all my Polaroids in a binder and it makes me really happy that I now have two pages of lovely Transformers peeps
I miss when my hair was like this
October 27, 2025 at 9:44 AM
I miss when my hair was like this