Reposted
I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Kennedy Center.
December 18, 2025 at 7:54 PM
I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Kennedy Center.
Delis all across the country will be naming a ham sandwich after Letitia James
This is actually the fourth time Trump has failed to indict Letitia James:
1. Erik Seibert refused to
2. Lindsey Halligan wasn't lawfully appointed
3. DOJ tried again and failed last week
4. DOJ tried again and failed today
1. Erik Seibert refused to
2. Lindsey Halligan wasn't lawfully appointed
3. DOJ tried again and failed last week
4. DOJ tried again and failed today
December 12, 2025 at 12:08 AM
Delis all across the country will be naming a ham sandwich after Letitia James
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you’ve seen in the wild.
Wolf
Rattlesnake
Bear
Rat
Possum
WAIT. Sorry. That’s a list of my exes. I misunderstood the assignment.
Wolf
Rattlesnake
Bear
Rat
Possum
WAIT. Sorry. That’s a list of my exes. I misunderstood the assignment.
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you’ve seen in the wild.
Black bear
Zebra (in California)
Pika
Fox
Pronghorn
Black bear
Zebra (in California)
Pika
Fox
Pronghorn
Lion
Cheetah
Leopard
Whale Shark
Red Tailed Hawk
Cheetah
Leopard
Whale Shark
Red Tailed Hawk
November 30, 2025 at 2:17 PM
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you’ve seen in the wild.
Wolf
Rattlesnake
Bear
Rat
Possum
WAIT. Sorry. That’s a list of my exes. I misunderstood the assignment.
Wolf
Rattlesnake
Bear
Rat
Possum
WAIT. Sorry. That’s a list of my exes. I misunderstood the assignment.
Je suis Charlie (just on this one point, though)
The phone number for the U.S. Capitol switchboard is (202) 224-3121. Honor his memory. #epstein
September 18, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Je suis Charlie (just on this one point, though)
I’m old enough to remember when the GOP hated socialism and communism.
August 25, 2025 at 2:32 PM
I’m old enough to remember when the GOP hated socialism and communism.
Post a non religious picture you think of as holy
August 21, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Post a non religious picture you think of as holy
Reposted
Striving for excellence and a lasting legacy?
At one point, the best dinosaur to ever live walked the earth. Literally the single strongest, smartest, most genetically significant one ever. (Steve)
One of his atoms burned in your engine today and another is in your dildo.
Fuck legacy, eat arbys
At one point, the best dinosaur to ever live walked the earth. Literally the single strongest, smartest, most genetically significant one ever. (Steve)
One of his atoms burned in your engine today and another is in your dildo.
Fuck legacy, eat arbys
August 19, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Striving for excellence and a lasting legacy?
At one point, the best dinosaur to ever live walked the earth. Literally the single strongest, smartest, most genetically significant one ever. (Steve)
One of his atoms burned in your engine today and another is in your dildo.
Fuck legacy, eat arbys
At one point, the best dinosaur to ever live walked the earth. Literally the single strongest, smartest, most genetically significant one ever. (Steve)
One of his atoms burned in your engine today and another is in your dildo.
Fuck legacy, eat arbys
I got BLS confused with BTS. I thought Trump fired a member of a kpop boy band. I guess what he actually did was worse.
August 3, 2025 at 2:49 PM
I got BLS confused with BTS. I thought Trump fired a member of a kpop boy band. I guess what he actually did was worse.
Age verification? I watched the Ed Sullivan Show on a black and white TV.
Age verification? I saw Honey, I Shrunk the Kids at a drive-in.
Age verification? I bought Mortal Kombat for Sega Genesis on Mortal Monday.
July 29, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Age verification? I watched the Ed Sullivan Show on a black and white TV.
Reposted
We can’t cancel student debt, but we can cancel the people who manage it.
It’s like keeping the tumor and firing the doctor.
johnfugelsang.substack.com/p/reminder-s...
It’s like keeping the tumor and firing the doctor.
johnfugelsang.substack.com/p/reminder-s...
July 21, 2025 at 5:25 PM
We can’t cancel student debt, but we can cancel the people who manage it.
It’s like keeping the tumor and firing the doctor.
johnfugelsang.substack.com/p/reminder-s...
It’s like keeping the tumor and firing the doctor.
johnfugelsang.substack.com/p/reminder-s...
Reposted
Texas' only severe weather warning system is watching for when Ted Cruz leaves the country
July 8, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Texas' only severe weather warning system is watching for when Ted Cruz leaves the country
DO NAKD sounds like an app for nudists.
June 23, 2025 at 3:50 PM
DO NAKD sounds like an app for nudists.
My favorite signs from the No Kings Rally in Philadelphia. My favorite chant was: Go Birds. Fuck Trump.
June 14, 2025 at 8:09 PM
My favorite signs from the No Kings Rally in Philadelphia. My favorite chant was: Go Birds. Fuck Trump.
Reposted
I hope he doesn’t wind up getting a reverse mortgage on the White House.
Trump has a private cell phone on which he takes calls — even if he doesn't know the caller.
Friends, corporate CEOs, world leaders and journalists regularly call it, knowing that, unminded by aides, Trump could answer, even when he doesn't recognize the number. www.theatlantic.com/politics/arc...
Friends, corporate CEOs, world leaders and journalists regularly call it, knowing that, unminded by aides, Trump could answer, even when he doesn't recognize the number. www.theatlantic.com/politics/arc...
The Secret History of Trump’s Private Cellphone
“Who’s calling?” the president asks as he answers call after call from numbers he doesn’t know.
www.theatlantic.com
June 4, 2025 at 9:18 PM
I hope he doesn’t wind up getting a reverse mortgage on the White House.
😬
with the power of AI I can finally suck my own dick
June 4, 2025 at 9:04 PM
😬
I would have been ok with Qatar giving the president two dolls or five pencils but not this.
REPORTER: What do you say to people who view that luxury jet as a personal gift to you?
TRUMP: You're ABC fake news, right? Let me tell you -- you should be embarrassed asking that question. They're giving us a free jet ... when they give you a putt, you pick it up and you walk to the next hole
TRUMP: You're ABC fake news, right? Let me tell you -- you should be embarrassed asking that question. They're giving us a free jet ... when they give you a putt, you pick it up and you walk to the next hole
May 12, 2025 at 6:24 PM
I would have been ok with Qatar giving the president two dolls or five pencils but not this.
Reposted
For them, it’s all there in black and white.
April 6, 2025 at 3:01 PM
For them, it’s all there in black and white.
Reposted
Just accidentally texted Steve Harvey the plans for my invasion of France. I'd appreciate privacy during this difficult time and whatnot.
March 24, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Just accidentally texted Steve Harvey the plans for my invasion of France. I'd appreciate privacy during this difficult time and whatnot.
Best Star Trek crew, wrong answers only
March 21, 2025 at 11:57 AM
Best Star Trek crew, wrong answers only
Reposted
I always knew it wasn't butter, but I pretended to not know, to go along with your game. Maybe I just wanted to get hurt, to feel something.
March 18, 2025 at 4:55 PM
I always knew it wasn't butter, but I pretended to not know, to go along with your game. Maybe I just wanted to get hurt, to feel something.
I won’t give in to the lies. I won’t give in to the fear.
Today’s show was my last at CNN. My closing message: It’s never a good time to bow down to a tyrant… don’t give in to the lies. Don’t give in to fear. Hold on to the truth… and hope.
January 28, 2025 at 11:12 PM
I won’t give in to the lies. I won’t give in to the fear.
Reposted
maybe ask "how aren't you?" instead
January 13, 2025 at 3:08 PM
maybe ask "how aren't you?" instead
If Amy Schneider and AJ Brown ever start a book club together, I’m going to have to sit in on that.
I don’t think I’ve ever identified more with an NFL player
January 13, 2025 at 3:46 PM
If Amy Schneider and AJ Brown ever start a book club together, I’m going to have to sit in on that.