Idiot Kitchen
@idiotkitchen.bsky.social
I may be stupid, but I'm not an idiot
this is a good moment to invest in animated gifs of guillotines
February 8, 2026 at 8:07 PM
this is a good moment to invest in animated gifs of guillotines
Picking up shattered chunks of my casserole off the floor
February 8, 2026 at 2:55 PM
Picking up shattered chunks of my casserole off the floor
I beg ye, let me aboard!
Me former crew, they were... g'yar, I shudder to say it. They were crunchatized, to a man. And the devil who did it, he relished me despair as I were left alive.
I've subsisted a fortnight here on crunchberries! Take mercy on this old salt!
Me former crew, they were... g'yar, I shudder to say it. They were crunchatized, to a man. And the devil who did it, he relished me despair as I were left alive.
I've subsisted a fortnight here on crunchberries! Take mercy on this old salt!
February 8, 2026 at 5:21 AM
I beg ye, let me aboard!
Me former crew, they were... g'yar, I shudder to say it. They were crunchatized, to a man. And the devil who did it, he relished me despair as I were left alive.
I've subsisted a fortnight here on crunchberries! Take mercy on this old salt!
Me former crew, they were... g'yar, I shudder to say it. They were crunchatized, to a man. And the devil who did it, he relished me despair as I were left alive.
I've subsisted a fortnight here on crunchberries! Take mercy on this old salt!
Reposted by Idiot Kitchen
working on the line at the reeses factory. one day i snap and walk up to my boss, p. nutt crunchley, and bludgeon him to death with a butter gauge. when they haul me away im covered in shell fragments and im laughing
February 7, 2026 at 9:35 PM
working on the line at the reeses factory. one day i snap and walk up to my boss, p. nutt crunchley, and bludgeon him to death with a butter gauge. when they haul me away im covered in shell fragments and im laughing
asking my fellow moviegoers for a draught of grog or even fresh water so that I may Soften my Ship's Biscuit and render it Softer & more Agreeable to the Digestion
February 7, 2026 at 7:47 PM
asking my fellow moviegoers for a draught of grog or even fresh water so that I may Soften my Ship's Biscuit and render it Softer & more Agreeable to the Digestion
Reposted by Idiot Kitchen
you look like a cool dude. just kidding
February 7, 2026 at 4:24 AM
you look like a cool dude. just kidding
Each day I suplex some bandits just for a few paltry coins
February 7, 2026 at 7:36 PM
Each day I suplex some bandits just for a few paltry coins
escorted out of the movie theater for smuggling in malachites and sapphires
February 7, 2026 at 7:25 PM
escorted out of the movie theater for smuggling in malachites and sapphires
Reposted by Idiot Kitchen
I hope you sit on your balls today and you die from it
February 5, 2026 at 4:35 PM
I hope you sit on your balls today and you die from it
Zounds! M-my lady, thou art bouncing on it! Indeed, bouncing on it crazy style!
Good heavens
Good heavens
February 7, 2026 at 6:53 PM
Zounds! M-my lady, thou art bouncing on it! Indeed, bouncing on it crazy style!
Good heavens
Good heavens
maritime atrocity themed breakfast cereal
February 7, 2026 at 6:45 PM
maritime atrocity themed breakfast cereal
When will they finally make a movie specifically for me, a guy with Dragon Ball Z tattoos who smokes clove cigarettes and listens to Hozier?
February 7, 2026 at 6:30 PM
When will they finally make a movie specifically for me, a guy with Dragon Ball Z tattoos who smokes clove cigarettes and listens to Hozier?
Reposted by Idiot Kitchen
Reposted by Idiot Kitchen
your honor, permission to go sicko mode?
February 7, 2026 at 6:12 PM
your honor, permission to go sicko mode?
Disciplinary action at work because I never measure my Fruit by the Foot when I take it off the reel
They get 'em in 600 meter reels, who cares man
you're telling me my boss is gonna miss a few ounces off a 40 pound spool of corn syrup
They get 'em in 600 meter reels, who cares man
you're telling me my boss is gonna miss a few ounces off a 40 pound spool of corn syrup
February 7, 2026 at 6:10 PM
Disciplinary action at work because I never measure my Fruit by the Foot when I take it off the reel
They get 'em in 600 meter reels, who cares man
you're telling me my boss is gonna miss a few ounces off a 40 pound spool of corn syrup
They get 'em in 600 meter reels, who cares man
you're telling me my boss is gonna miss a few ounces off a 40 pound spool of corn syrup
You must journey to the Valley of Approximately Three Tempests and seek guidance from 2-3 sages there
Like, however many you can find
it varies
Like, however many you can find
it varies
February 7, 2026 at 6:00 PM
You must journey to the Valley of Approximately Three Tempests and seek guidance from 2-3 sages there
Like, however many you can find
it varies
Like, however many you can find
it varies
babe, did you take your antifa pills today
February 7, 2026 at 12:08 AM
babe, did you take your antifa pills today
P E A N I S
and allso
ᵇᵃˡˡˢ
and allso
ᵇᵃˡˡˢ
February 6, 2026 at 8:01 PM
P E A N I S
and allso
ᵇᵃˡˡˢ
and allso
ᵇᵃˡˡˢ
Your honor, permission to refer to you as "homeslice"?
February 6, 2026 at 7:59 PM
Your honor, permission to refer to you as "homeslice"?