Even if I thought it was a good idea to expel my short story length thoughts onto a site like this, I really just can't handle texts that long rn.

👀
do you have a game in mind?
(of course, you know you can join what I'm actually up to nowadays but I'm not sure that qualifies as small-scale)

It's not that cold yet - not enough to keep the ground frozen here in the city - but the feeling of going outside rn is still incredible. I hope it stays cold and even gets colder before new years. My mental health could really use a proper winter right about now.

I'm not fit for work, and I certainly can't return to a careless normal otherwise, but I can kind of live again. It's a good sign that it was surprising how draining it was to read for half an hour this morning, I think.

I mean I've made a LOT of progress in the past week, tbf. Reading is fine as long as I keep a limit on it (annoyingly, the appropriate limit is hard to intuit), video games are mostly fine, and the other day I managed a 20-minute walk without collapsing for the rest of the day.

That's twice now I've been spoiled on plot beats I think I would have LOVED if I got to run into them myself, just for being a little too nosy.

I guess I know whose attention I've attracted...

I just wanted Smirke's list and a reminder on when Decker first appeared! Why does the wiki immediately talk about a major later plot point on both pages?

I am starting to realise, though, I kinda miss the insanity? I've barely heard of the wacky shit going on in the rest of the world for the past month and that's almost creating an illusion things have calmed down.

If light activity in the form of video games can eat the next few days without much damage, it's basically over. Not back to normal, not at all, but it makes the rest of my recovery so much easier

I wish I had earplugs I could sleep in because fuck thiiiiiiiis

I can't deliberately exhaust myself to take the edge off either because my body needs every bit of actual energy and breathing room it can get to heal rn

The fridge, the water pipes, the ventilation, buzzing and humming I can't even identify from at least three different sources. AND THEN there are vehicle sounds and wind from outside?

Plus random sounds of pressure shifts in surfaces I might find startling normally is now just so fucking annoying

Here, too, I transitioned