Mid-ass vampire
@icylez.bsky.social
She/her | 26 | Trans, lesbian, programmer, leftist, aspiring goth. In short, a walking stereotype.
Pinned
Mid-ass vampire
@icylez.bsky.social
· Feb 28
My need to fix my mental health is only surpassed by my need to get hotter
I didn't realise how much I would miss writing. Not having that outlet for my thoughts without another person is surprisingly frustrating, and not all things are a good fit for the microblogging format...
November 25, 2025 at 11:27 PM
I didn't realise how much I would miss writing. Not having that outlet for my thoughts without another person is surprisingly frustrating, and not all things are a good fit for the microblogging format...
It's that time of year again where I'm yearning to play some small scale multiplayer RPG with close friends/the polycule
November 25, 2025 at 3:44 PM
It's that time of year again where I'm yearning to play some small scale multiplayer RPG with close friends/the polycule
I can't help but pity sun worshippers who don't see winter nights the same way I do. Who don't feel how invigorating it is to step outside into negative temperatures and how comfortable it is to have just enough light to see one's snow-covered surroundings.
November 20, 2025 at 3:54 PM
I can't help but pity sun worshippers who don't see winter nights the same way I do. Who don't feel how invigorating it is to step outside into negative temperatures and how comfortable it is to have just enough light to see one's snow-covered surroundings.
I'm getting close to the seven-week mark now and I'm still in such rough shape I'm starting to wonder again if I'll actually make something resembling a full recovery. I know I shouldn't worry for another few weeks yet, but...
November 10, 2025 at 10:34 AM
I'm getting close to the seven-week mark now and I'm still in such rough shape I'm starting to wonder again if I'll actually make something resembling a full recovery. I know I shouldn't worry for another few weeks yet, but...
After several months long break from The Magnus Archives, I decided to risk a peek at the wiki to refresh myself on things I'm sure I would have remembered if not for the break and covid fucking up my brain
I was instantly punished by having what seems like a major plot point spoiled 😭
I was instantly punished by having what seems like a major plot point spoiled 😭
November 9, 2025 at 1:48 PM
After several months long break from The Magnus Archives, I decided to risk a peek at the wiki to refresh myself on things I'm sure I would have remembered if not for the break and covid fucking up my brain
I was instantly punished by having what seems like a major plot point spoiled 😭
I was instantly punished by having what seems like a major plot point spoiled 😭
Hiiiii oomfies unfortunately I didn't get better and touch grass about it for three weeks. I got just good enough to feel fine Doing Things and immediately broke my brain for about two. It's mostly been a negative to be mostly unable to read, but not being on here has been a mental health positive
November 6, 2025 at 11:40 AM
Hiiiii oomfies unfortunately I didn't get better and touch grass about it for three weeks. I got just good enough to feel fine Doing Things and immediately broke my brain for about two. It's mostly been a negative to be mostly unable to read, but not being on here has been a mental health positive
Day 12: I am shakily touching video games again. Reckless? Yes, but at some point I need to weigh good rest against my sanity.
So strange to suddenly wish video games would eat MORE of my time disproportionate to my experience
So strange to suddenly wish video games would eat MORE of my time disproportionate to my experience
October 16, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Day 12: I am shakily touching video games again. Reckless? Yes, but at some point I need to weigh good rest against my sanity.
So strange to suddenly wish video games would eat MORE of my time disproportionate to my experience
So strange to suddenly wish video games would eat MORE of my time disproportionate to my experience
Part of this is unusual sensitivity, but I think a significant portion is just how I've never had to listen to my noisy fridge for this long on end before. For all but an hour here and there, in the past few years I've either been outside or had something else drowning it out.
Maybe I'm just being autistic and unusually sensitive on top but there is SO MUCH fucking noise in this building how am I supposed to sleep?!
October 16, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Part of this is unusual sensitivity, but I think a significant portion is just how I've never had to listen to my noisy fridge for this long on end before. For all but an hour here and there, in the past few years I've either been outside or had something else drowning it out.
Day eleven: jfc how is it only a week since cold symptoms subsided? I feel like I've been locked in this room staring into space for at least a month.
Thankfully I'm recovered enough to channel my growing insanity into creative output on a ttrpg campaign
Thankfully I'm recovered enough to channel my growing insanity into creative output on a ttrpg campaign
October 15, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Day eleven: jfc how is it only a week since cold symptoms subsided? I feel like I've been locked in this room staring into space for at least a month.
Thankfully I'm recovered enough to channel my growing insanity into creative output on a ttrpg campaign
Thankfully I'm recovered enough to channel my growing insanity into creative output on a ttrpg campaign
Maybe I'm just being autistic and unusually sensitive on top but there is SO MUCH fucking noise in this building how am I supposed to sleep?!
October 14, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Maybe I'm just being autistic and unusually sensitive on top but there is SO MUCH fucking noise in this building how am I supposed to sleep?!
Day ten: I feel... fine-ish? I slept like shit but I'm not getting any headaches or nausea yet despite being a little more active? Something's not adding up...
October 14, 2025 at 11:04 AM
Day ten: I feel... fine-ish? I slept like shit but I'm not getting any headaches or nausea yet despite being a little more active? Something's not adding up...
Reposted by Mid-ass vampire
academy award contending tiktok
September 29, 2025 at 8:22 PM
academy award contending tiktok
Day [nine]: I'm so tired. Physically and mentally. Can't sleep, can't do anything with my conscious state except think about what I wish I could be doing. Still, I kind of appreciate the clarity of not being able to do anything over how deceptively ok I felt until yesterday.
October 13, 2025 at 1:12 PM
Day [nine]: I'm so tired. Physically and mentally. Can't sleep, can't do anything with my conscious state except think about what I wish I could be doing. Still, I kind of appreciate the clarity of not being able to do anything over how deceptively ok I felt until yesterday.
Day eight: I keep looking up at my bookshelf. It taunts me. I'd gladly bleed to safely open one of those books right now. It's so tempting, but I can't. They remain just out of reach, reminding me of what I could have had right now if not for this insidious disease.
October 12, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Day eight: I keep looking up at my bookshelf. It taunts me. I'd gladly bleed to safely open one of those books right now. It's so tempting, but I can't. They remain just out of reach, reminding me of what I could have had right now if not for this insidious disease.
Reposted by Mid-ass vampire
why do nazis keep showing up
October 11, 2025 at 4:31 PM
why do nazis keep showing up
I really spent the majority of this year so far telling myself "At least there is another autumn coming. It'll be heartbreakingly brief, but beautiful. It'll be soooo good." to keep myself going, only to sit inside rotting through most of october without even a good window view
This makes three years in a row now I've been incapacitatingly sick during the best part of the year, and it's getting hard not to take it personally
October 11, 2025 at 12:52 PM
I really spent the majority of this year so far telling myself "At least there is another autumn coming. It'll be heartbreakingly brief, but beautiful. It'll be soooo good." to keep myself going, only to sit inside rotting through most of october without even a good window view
Day 7: the nosebleeds, headaches, and nausea have started hitting. I have to distrust every feeling of relief, because I know it's paper thin and can't bear any load. I am sitting in the lobby of hell hoping my stillness is close enough to perfect it will just be an uncomfortable visit.
October 11, 2025 at 11:19 AM
Day 7: the nosebleeds, headaches, and nausea have started hitting. I have to distrust every feeling of relief, because I know it's paper thin and can't bear any load. I am sitting in the lobby of hell hoping my stillness is close enough to perfect it will just be an uncomfortable visit.
Reposted by Mid-ass vampire
it's not FOR us
October 10, 2025 at 1:02 PM
it's not FOR us
Day six: gods it's getting hard to resist the impulse to read. I also haven't been this fixated on the idea of picking up WoW again in years - not even last time I actually did it
In theory I should be keeping this up for another full WEEK but idk if I have that in me
In theory I should be keeping this up for another full WEEK but idk if I have that in me
October 10, 2025 at 10:26 AM
Day six: gods it's getting hard to resist the impulse to read. I also haven't been this fixated on the idea of picking up WoW again in years - not even last time I actually did it
In theory I should be keeping this up for another full WEEK but idk if I have that in me
In theory I should be keeping this up for another full WEEK but idk if I have that in me
Day four of symptoms, first notable headache. Just as respiratory symptoms seem to be going away and fevers get almost immesurably low.
So it begins. The hard part.
So it begins. The hard part.
October 8, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Day four of symptoms, first notable headache. Just as respiratory symptoms seem to be going away and fevers get almost immesurably low.
So it begins. The hard part.
So it begins. The hard part.
This makes three years in a row now I've been incapacitatingly sick during the best part of the year, and it's getting hard not to take it personally
October 7, 2025 at 11:05 AM
This makes three years in a row now I've been incapacitatingly sick during the best part of the year, and it's getting hard not to take it personally
Now, I'm starting to wonder if I should just throw myself back down the hole of MMO addiction. I mean, why not? If I can't go out and live in the real world, what am I to do?
Having come out only in 2018, I didn't know how good I had it living in a world where it's safe to exist in public until there was no way back. Of all the privileges I may have lost in that process, I only really miss that of being able to go to a festival or even just a cafe safely.
October 7, 2025 at 9:40 AM
Now, I'm starting to wonder if I should just throw myself back down the hole of MMO addiction. I mean, why not? If I can't go out and live in the real world, what am I to do?
I once again miss when people cared about covid. It's so backwards, but I miss the height of the pandemic when I actually felt somewhat safe going outside, because nobody else was there.
October 7, 2025 at 8:52 AM
I once again miss when people cared about covid. It's so backwards, but I miss the height of the pandemic when I actually felt somewhat safe going outside, because nobody else was there.
Reposted by Mid-ass vampire
It's infuriating that we could've eliminated COVID but just didn't.
August 25, 2025 at 3:09 AM
It's infuriating that we could've eliminated COVID but just didn't.
You have to take solace in the little things sometimes, even when the little things available are how grimly kinda cool it sounds to genuinely tell yourself "I need to do this now, because in all likelihood I will be too physically weak to for the rest of the week"
October 6, 2025 at 7:34 PM
You have to take solace in the little things sometimes, even when the little things available are how grimly kinda cool it sounds to genuinely tell yourself "I need to do this now, because in all likelihood I will be too physically weak to for the rest of the week"