Well I think a chilli cheese loaf, a cinnamon raisin loaf and a dozen mince pies is enough baking for one solstice
December 21, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Well I think a chilli cheese loaf, a cinnamon raisin loaf and a dozen mince pies is enough baking for one solstice
Jesus Christ the whole pope dying thing was this year
December 20, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Jesus Christ the whole pope dying thing was this year
Carnage at Arnold Sainsbury’s! Old woman gets bumped by stock cages and screams at the staff! A more different old woman wanders off with my trolley! People bring every single child they own to the supermarket and let them push the trolley! 🛒 💥
December 20, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Carnage at Arnold Sainsbury’s! Old woman gets bumped by stock cages and screams at the staff! A more different old woman wanders off with my trolley! People bring every single child they own to the supermarket and let them push the trolley! 🛒 💥
Cheesy cock? Call that Brienis
December 19, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Cheesy cock? Call that Brienis
Deirdre Chambers! What a coincidence!
December 19, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Deirdre Chambers! What a coincidence!
Well on reflection, going skating as a beginner in the city that hosts the national ice centre was possibly not best placed for my sense of being a cool banana. Anyway I didn’t fall over or slice anyone with a skate, so partial credit to me
December 19, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Well on reflection, going skating as a beginner in the city that hosts the national ice centre was possibly not best placed for my sense of being a cool banana. Anyway I didn’t fall over or slice anyone with a skate, so partial credit to me
Having a winter warmer
December 19, 2025 at 7:58 PM
Having a winter warmer
Heading into town to pickpocket yuppies who’ve had too much to drink at the winter wonderland in market square. Anyone want anything?
December 19, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Heading into town to pickpocket yuppies who’ve had too much to drink at the winter wonderland in market square. Anyone want anything?
i identify as a nice person but i just had a meeting that has kicked away the last few stanchions of my politeness and good manners
December 18, 2025 at 10:20 AM
i identify as a nice person but i just had a meeting that has kicked away the last few stanchions of my politeness and good manners
THAT'S IT i'm putting on barbra streisand's 1980 album guilty at full bore and having a hot wet shower
December 17, 2025 at 6:19 PM
THAT'S IT i'm putting on barbra streisand's 1980 album guilty at full bore and having a hot wet shower
I’m only doing it cos everyone else is and I am a sheep BUT I have one thing to say and it’s to quote Bertha from Acorn Antiques when she gets amnesia and sits on the sofa with her double gusset on show and that’s: ‘I don’t know anyone, I live in a world of strangers!’
December 17, 2025 at 6:45 AM
I’m only doing it cos everyone else is and I am a sheep BUT I have one thing to say and it’s to quote Bertha from Acorn Antiques when she gets amnesia and sits on the sofa with her double gusset on show and that’s: ‘I don’t know anyone, I live in a world of strangers!’
So far there’ve been two excellent shots of Bruce Willis’ bum in a shower, and we’ve just met Brad Pitt and you can’t see his bum? What amateur made this? #twelvemonkeys
December 15, 2025 at 8:13 PM
So far there’ve been two excellent shots of Bruce Willis’ bum in a shower, and we’ve just met Brad Pitt and you can’t see his bum? What amateur made this? #twelvemonkeys
Charli XCX at a gay wedding? Now I’ve heard it all.
December 14, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Charli XCX at a gay wedding? Now I’ve heard it all.
Wearing a kilt to a gay wedding is fucking dangerous
December 14, 2025 at 1:28 PM
Wearing a kilt to a gay wedding is fucking dangerous
Hiding in the lounge while Mark yaps to his forest school mates at their Xmas do and I have a friend who has come for my company and definitely not my slice of pizza that he had no idea I was holding or anything
December 12, 2025 at 8:14 PM
Hiding in the lounge while Mark yaps to his forest school mates at their Xmas do and I have a friend who has come for my company and definitely not my slice of pizza that he had no idea I was holding or anything
There’s a new film out from NZ called Holy Days, with Miriam Margolyes as a nun, it looks a bit of fun, so I sent the trailer to my two nz friends and one goes ‘oh yeah I provided outfits for that’.
NZ continues to have all of six people in it.
NZ continues to have all of six people in it.
December 12, 2025 at 6:11 PM
There’s a new film out from NZ called Holy Days, with Miriam Margolyes as a nun, it looks a bit of fun, so I sent the trailer to my two nz friends and one goes ‘oh yeah I provided outfits for that’.
NZ continues to have all of six people in it.
NZ continues to have all of six people in it.
softlaunching my xmas profile pic by subtly tweeting out loud that i have a new xmas profile pic and attaching aforementioned pic to this tweet send tweet
December 11, 2025 at 4:51 PM
softlaunching my xmas profile pic by subtly tweeting out loud that i have a new xmas profile pic and attaching aforementioned pic to this tweet send tweet
Dyed my hair at half eleven cos why not indeed
December 11, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Dyed my hair at half eleven cos why not indeed
Shipping him off to his new gay home in an hour. BYE CUNT
December 7, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Shipping him off to his new gay home in an hour. BYE CUNT
Got some decaffe teabagges from the shoppe
December 7, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Got some decaffe teabagges from the shoppe
Funniest Lion second year running. Don’t ever let anyone tell you not to reach for the stars. Being a clown is a real job.
December 5, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Funniest Lion second year running. Don’t ever let anyone tell you not to reach for the stars. Being a clown is a real job.
I've ordered a SAD lamp and I've had a SINGLE coffee pod and NO tea today. I WILL sell this house today.
December 5, 2025 at 11:51 AM
I've ordered a SAD lamp and I've had a SINGLE coffee pod and NO tea today. I WILL sell this house today.
what on EARTH is wrong with me why am i spending my youth setting up SQL databases on home computing
December 3, 2025 at 8:16 PM
what on EARTH is wrong with me why am i spending my youth setting up SQL databases on home computing
