Hazel E. Baumgartner - Author of "The Woods: A Horror Novel"
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hazelebaumgartner.bsky.social
Hazel E. Baumgartner - Author of "The Woods: A Horror Novel"
@hazelebaumgartner.bsky.social
Artist, author, musician, witch, and Hot Wheels collector. I make music under the name Hazel Bee and write books under the name Hazel E. Baumgartner, which is also my name.

30, she/they, 99% lesbian, USA 🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈

Buy my book: https://a.co/d/6Aanpc7
Same with Futurama. Season 4 specifically is insanely good. Roswell, Two Santas, and then Buggalo, Pharaoh, Godfellas, Future Stock, A Leela of Her Own, and 30% Iron Chef back to back to back to back. Might be the best consecutive 5 episodes of any animated TV show ever.
December 4, 2025 at 6:02 AM
It's pretty widely accepted that seasons 3 to 10 or so are the show's peak. I will say they still strike occasional gold but man those seasons 3-10...
December 4, 2025 at 5:58 AM
I'm using Amazon for now until I find something better. Currently my 256 page novel is $13 for a paperback and $20 for hardcover, which seems like a lot until you go to Walmart and see how much THEY'RE charging. Part of me really wishes I was alive for the era of the Penny Dreadful.
December 4, 2025 at 5:41 AM
(Also Colorado Springs has such a small town feel sometimes but I moved here from Kansas City, the 38th largest city in the US. Maybe it's just because I don't live downtown anymore like I did in KC for the past... 14 or 15 years?)
December 4, 2025 at 5:39 AM
I've had two random people online go "holy crap you're THE Hazel E. Baumgartner? I read your book!" And both times it made my day. I hope it happens more and more often going forward.
December 4, 2025 at 5:30 AM
I mean I definitely agree with Shaun of the Dead. It probably makes my top 10 too.
December 4, 2025 at 5:12 AM
I always say the end of the world? No, the world will go on spinning for another 5 billion years until the sun swallows it up. What you should be worried about is the end of *humanity*. That's a coin flip in this century.
December 4, 2025 at 5:09 AM
I mean, we could follow France's example a little further than that...
December 4, 2025 at 5:04 AM
As a former Texan, by all counts Texas should be a swing state and the current regime is spending a LOT of money to keep that from happening. If Texas were the firm red state people think it is, the stupid illegal redistricting would be a non-issue.
December 4, 2025 at 4:59 AM
Afaik the majority of fentanyl is manufactured in Oklahoma and Pennsylvania by big pharmaceutical companies that paid a lot of money to help Trump steal the 2024 election.
December 4, 2025 at 3:36 AM
Truly, fuck cancer.
December 4, 2025 at 2:31 AM
Desi Lydic said it's his "I hope nobody notices this is a women's jacket" face
December 3, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Still reading:
"Small Gods" by Sir Terry Pratchett (he's my comfort author and we need as much comfort as we can get these days dammit)

DNF:
"Sitka" by Louis L'Amour because I lost my paperback
December 3, 2025 at 3:56 PM
"Reaper Man" by STP
"Witches Abroad" by STP
"The Woods" by Hazel E. Baumgartner (I read back thru it so it counts)
"Mongrels" by Stephen Graham Jones
"Don't Get Blood In My House" by @matthewkingauthor.bsky.social
"My Heart Is A Chainsaw" by SGJ
"Something Wicked This Way Comes" by Ray Bradbury
December 3, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Read list so far this year (it's a lot of Pratchett, don't judge me):
"Mort" by Sir Terry Pratchett (started in '24)
"Sourcery" by STP
"Wyrd Sisters" by STP
"Pyramids" by STP
"Guards! Guards!" by STP
"Eric" by STP
"The Only Good Indians" by @sgj.bsky.social
"Moving Pictures" by STP
December 3, 2025 at 3:56 PM
'Cause I don't *love* giving Lex Luthor money...
December 3, 2025 at 3:51 PM