Clark Griswold
@griswoldchristmas.com
Hi, I’m Clark Griswold, but you can just call me Clark. I'm a husband, a father, and, let’s be honest, an all-around good guy—Oh, and if you ever need help putting up Christmas lights or fixing your car... I'm your go-to guy!
Pinned
Clark Griswold
@griswoldchristmas.com
· Nov 15
I’m new here so let me introduce myself-
There once was a man named Griswold,
Whose holiday plans were quite bold.
With lights strung up high,
And a reindeer that’d fly,
His Christmas was wild and uncontrolled!
Follow for more limericks
There once was a man named Griswold,
Whose holiday plans were quite bold.
With lights strung up high,
And a reindeer that’d fly,
His Christmas was wild and uncontrolled!
Follow for more limericks
There once was a man named Donald,
Whose dreams were both bold and unbridled.
Canada and Greenland he sought,
The Canal and Gaza he fought,
In his quest, the world was quite startled. #51stState #Greenland #panamacanal #theGazaStrip
Whose dreams were both bold and unbridled.
Canada and Greenland he sought,
The Canal and Gaza he fought,
In his quest, the world was quite startled. #51stState #Greenland #panamacanal #theGazaStrip
February 16, 2025 at 5:06 PM
There once was a man named Donald,
Whose dreams were both bold and unbridled.
Canada and Greenland he sought,
The Canal and Gaza he fought,
In his quest, the world was quite startled. #51stState #Greenland #panamacanal #theGazaStrip
Whose dreams were both bold and unbridled.
Canada and Greenland he sought,
The Canal and Gaza he fought,
In his quest, the world was quite startled. #51stState #Greenland #panamacanal #theGazaStrip
In circles where DEI is the tale,
MAGA murmurs start to prevail.
They insist it's a guise,
To prioritize,
Anyone not a straight white male.
MAGA murmurs start to prevail.
They insist it's a guise,
To prioritize,
Anyone not a straight white male.
January 31, 2025 at 2:31 AM
In circles where DEI is the tale,
MAGA murmurs start to prevail.
They insist it's a guise,
To prioritize,
Anyone not a straight white male.
MAGA murmurs start to prevail.
They insist it's a guise,
To prioritize,
Anyone not a straight white male.
In a house filled with lights all aglow,
I wish you a Christmas to grow!
With laughter and cheer,
Family draws near,
May joy be the gift that you sow!
I wish you a Christmas to grow!
With laughter and cheer,
Family draws near,
May joy be the gift that you sow!
December 25, 2024 at 4:41 PM
In a house filled with lights all aglow,
I wish you a Christmas to grow!
With laughter and cheer,
Family draws near,
May joy be the gift that you sow!
I wish you a Christmas to grow!
With laughter and cheer,
Family draws near,
May joy be the gift that you sow!
In a world where roles were playfully spun,
Elon's ventures were second to none.
And by his side, with flair and sway,
Was Donald, the First Lady, leading the way?
www.huffpost.com/entry/jimmy-...
Elon's ventures were second to none.
And by his side, with flair and sway,
Was Donald, the First Lady, leading the way?
www.huffpost.com/entry/jimmy-...
Jimmy Fallon Gives Trump And Musk A Couple Name, And It’s Flawless
The late night host debuted the nickname while joking about an imaginary conversation between Trump, Musk and Jeff Bezos.
www.huffpost.com
December 21, 2024 at 1:06 AM
In a world where roles were playfully spun,
Elon's ventures were second to none.
And by his side, with flair and sway,
Was Donald, the First Lady, leading the way?
www.huffpost.com/entry/jimmy-...
Elon's ventures were second to none.
And by his side, with flair and sway,
Was Donald, the First Lady, leading the way?
www.huffpost.com/entry/jimmy-...
For Onion merch made with love and spite,
Order soon to make your season bright.
By Wednesday, don't delay,
For holiday display,
Priority shipping will bring delight!
Order soon to make your season bright.
By Wednesday, don't delay,
For holiday display,
Priority shipping will bring delight!
All of our merchandise is made with love. And a good amount of spite. If you want merch delivered by the holidays, order Onion merch with priority shipping by Wednesday. Check out The Onion Store now.
store.theonion.com/collections/...
store.theonion.com/collections/...
December 18, 2024 at 1:55 AM
For Onion merch made with love and spite,
Order soon to make your season bright.
By Wednesday, don't delay,
For holiday display,
Priority shipping will bring delight!
Order soon to make your season bright.
By Wednesday, don't delay,
For holiday display,
Priority shipping will bring delight!
In a school where young voices once played,
A shadow of sadness is laid.
For those little ones, so bright,
Gone from our sight,
Their Christmas dreams quietly fade.
A shadow of sadness is laid.
For those little ones, so bright,
Gone from our sight,
Their Christmas dreams quietly fade.
If you have had enough, tell all your followers on BlueSky that it's time to #EndGunViolenceNow!
Our kids deserve to grow up safe and free from gun violence. It's time to put their lives ahead of guns. We can build a future where no parent has to bury their child due to senseless gun violence.
Our kids deserve to grow up safe and free from gun violence. It's time to put their lives ahead of guns. We can build a future where no parent has to bury their child due to senseless gun violence.
December 17, 2024 at 1:48 AM
In a school where young voices once played,
A shadow of sadness is laid.
For those little ones, so bright,
Gone from our sight,
Their Christmas dreams quietly fade.
A shadow of sadness is laid.
For those little ones, so bright,
Gone from our sight,
Their Christmas dreams quietly fade.
In Madison's halls, terror took flight,
While leaders offered prayers, not the fight.
With each tragic tear,
They whisper, "We're here,"
Yet action remains out of sight.
While leaders offered prayers, not the fight.
With each tragic tear,
They whisper, "We're here,"
Yet action remains out of sight.
Multiple injuries reported at Wisconsin school shooting
Multiple injuries reported at Wisconsin school shooting
Shooting occurred at Abundant Life Christian School in Madison, the state capital, police say
Multiple injuries have been reported Monday in a shooting at a Christian school in Wisconsin, police said.
The shooting occurred at Abundant Life Christian…
www.theguardian.com
December 16, 2024 at 11:36 PM
In Madison's halls, terror took flight,
While leaders offered prayers, not the fight.
With each tragic tear,
They whisper, "We're here,"
Yet action remains out of sight.
While leaders offered prayers, not the fight.
With each tragic tear,
They whisper, "We're here,"
Yet action remains out of sight.
In Madison's halls, terror took flight,
While leaders offered prayers, not the fight.
With each tragic tear,
They whisper, "We're here,"
Yet action remains out of sight.
While leaders offered prayers, not the fight.
With each tragic tear,
They whisper, "We're here,"
Yet action remains out of sight.
i can't think of anything more american than a mass shooting at a christian school called "abundant life"
Live updates: 3 dead in shooting at Abundant Life Christian School in Madison, Wisconsin
Latest news and live updates on the potential school shooting at Abundant Life Christian School in Madison, Wisconsin, on Monday.
www.nbcnews.com
December 16, 2024 at 11:36 PM
In Madison's halls, terror took flight,
While leaders offered prayers, not the fight.
With each tragic tear,
They whisper, "We're here,"
Yet action remains out of sight.
While leaders offered prayers, not the fight.
With each tragic tear,
They whisper, "We're here,"
Yet action remains out of sight.
Larry Hogan gazed up with a groan,
Saw Orion and thought they were drones.
"Invasion!" he cried,
As the stars merely sighed,
For their twinkle was all they had shown!
Saw Orion and thought they were drones.
"Invasion!" he cried,
As the stars merely sighed,
For their twinkle was all they had shown!
This is just one of the very dumb things that happened this weekend. Get all the updates with Ron Filipkowski’s recap 👉 www.meidasplus.com/p/politics-t...
December 16, 2024 at 3:18 AM
Larry Hogan gazed up with a groan,
Saw Orion and thought they were drones.
"Invasion!" he cried,
As the stars merely sighed,
For their twinkle was all they had shown!
Saw Orion and thought they were drones.
"Invasion!" he cried,
As the stars merely sighed,
For their twinkle was all they had shown!
If Trump keeps controls tight on chips,
America's edge won't slip.
But if he lets them go,
To China, we might bow,
Mark this as the key to his grip.
America's edge won't slip.
But if he lets them go,
To China, we might bow,
Mark this as the key to his grip.
Best article I’ve seen about expectations from the next administration
www.noahpinion.blog/p/how-well-k...
www.noahpinion.blog/p/how-well-k...
How we'll know if Trump is going to sell America out to China
Keep an eye on the export controls. They are the key.
www.noahpinion.blog
December 15, 2024 at 6:04 PM
If Trump keeps controls tight on chips,
America's edge won't slip.
But if he lets them go,
To China, we might bow,
Mark this as the key to his grip.
America's edge won't slip.
But if he lets them go,
To China, we might bow,
Mark this as the key to his grip.
Cousin Eddie in his RV so fine,
Said, "The sewer's a real goldmine!"
With a grin and a cheer,
He toasted cold beer,
"Here's to Christmas and good old moonshine!"
Said, "The sewer's a real goldmine!"
With a grin and a cheer,
He toasted cold beer,
"Here's to Christmas and good old moonshine!"
December 7, 2024 at 7:13 PM
Cousin Eddie in his RV so fine,
Said, "The sewer's a real goldmine!"
With a grin and a cheer,
He toasted cold beer,
"Here's to Christmas and good old moonshine!"
Said, "The sewer's a real goldmine!"
With a grin and a cheer,
He toasted cold beer,
"Here's to Christmas and good old moonshine!"
If fear of hell's fire makes you kind,
True goodness you may never find.
For virtues sincere,
Need no threat to steer,
In a heart where true kindness is lined. #ChristianValues
True goodness you may never find.
For virtues sincere,
Need no threat to steer,
In a heart where true kindness is lined. #ChristianValues
December 7, 2024 at 3:34 PM
If fear of hell's fire makes you kind,
True goodness you may never find.
For virtues sincere,
Need no threat to steer,
In a heart where true kindness is lined. #ChristianValues
True goodness you may never find.
For virtues sincere,
Need no threat to steer,
In a heart where true kindness is lined. #ChristianValues
As holidays twinkle, CNN's plight,
Ratings dipped low, a wintry sight.
With stories so grim,
Their sparkle grew dim,
In a festive fall from viewer's delight!
Ratings dipped low, a wintry sight.
With stories so grim,
Their sparkle grew dim,
In a festive fall from viewer's delight!
Congrats to CNN for Lowest-Rated Week in Decades, It's Well Deserved
My New Post:
My New Post:
Congrats to CNN for Lowest-Rated Week in Decades
It’s well deserved
www.dworkinsubstack.com
December 7, 2024 at 2:41 PM
As holidays twinkle, CNN's plight,
Ratings dipped low, a wintry sight.
With stories so grim,
Their sparkle grew dim,
In a festive fall from viewer's delight!
Ratings dipped low, a wintry sight.
With stories so grim,
Their sparkle grew dim,
In a festive fall from viewer's delight!
In December, a letter was sent,
By sixty who voiced their intent.
For justice, they write,
To make wrongs turn right,
And bring hope where the sorrow was pent.
apple.news/AlVc8pK5PTXO...
By sixty who voiced their intent.
For justice, they write,
To make wrongs turn right,
And bring hope where the sorrow was pent.
apple.news/AlVc8pK5PTXO...
Top US House Democrat calls on Biden to pardon working-class Americans — Reuters
The top Democrat in the U.S. House of Representatives, Hakeem Jeffries, on Tuesday called on President Joe Biden to pardon some working-class Americans after drawing criticism for pardoning his own so...
apple.news
December 4, 2024 at 1:56 AM
In December, a letter was sent,
By sixty who voiced their intent.
For justice, they write,
To make wrongs turn right,
And bring hope where the sorrow was pent.
apple.news/AlVc8pK5PTXO...
By sixty who voiced their intent.
For justice, they write,
To make wrongs turn right,
And bring hope where the sorrow was pent.
apple.news/AlVc8pK5PTXO...
With laughter, I face each new day,
As the world spins in its own way.
Though my hopes may have dashed,
And my dreams feel quite brash,
I’ll embrace all the love on display! @jimgaffigan.bsky.social
www.cbsnews.com/news/jim-gaf...
As the world spins in its own way.
Though my hopes may have dashed,
And my dreams feel quite brash,
I’ll embrace all the love on display! @jimgaffigan.bsky.social
www.cbsnews.com/news/jim-gaf...
Jim Gaffigan on adjusting to the painful new reality: "How did this happen?"
The comedian says that he is working to adjust to recent events that have left him blindsided and wanting to curl up in a ball and mope. But he acknowledges that, while it's not what he wanted, the wo...
www.cbsnews.com
December 4, 2024 at 12:06 AM
With laughter, I face each new day,
As the world spins in its own way.
Though my hopes may have dashed,
And my dreams feel quite brash,
I’ll embrace all the love on display! @jimgaffigan.bsky.social
www.cbsnews.com/news/jim-gaf...
As the world spins in its own way.
Though my hopes may have dashed,
And my dreams feel quite brash,
I’ll embrace all the love on display! @jimgaffigan.bsky.social
www.cbsnews.com/news/jim-gaf...
In the Delta, where shadows loom wide,
Lies a barn where dark secrets abide.
Emmett’s fate, a grim tale,
Injustice prevails,
Yet silence still tries to hide.
www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/the...
Lies a barn where dark secrets abide.
Emmett’s fate, a grim tale,
Injustice prevails,
Yet silence still tries to hide.
www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/the...
"The Barn," on the lynching of Emmett Till, and an evil hiding in plain sight
In his new book, author Wright Thompson examines the site of the notorious 1955 murder of 14-year-old Emmett Till, and a Mississippi Delta culture that, he says, has spent decades trying to erase a ho...
www.cbsnews.com
December 3, 2024 at 11:56 PM
In the Delta, where shadows loom wide,
Lies a barn where dark secrets abide.
Emmett’s fate, a grim tale,
Injustice prevails,
Yet silence still tries to hide.
www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/the...
Lies a barn where dark secrets abide.
Emmett’s fate, a grim tale,
Injustice prevails,
Yet silence still tries to hide.
www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/the...
With the holidays bringing such glee,
I’m one follower short, can it be?
On Bluesky, I’m close,
To that magical boast,
A hundred—oh, what a sight it would see!
I’m one follower short, can it be?
On Bluesky, I’m close,
To that magical boast,
A hundred—oh, what a sight it would see!
December 3, 2024 at 9:35 PM
With the holidays bringing such glee,
I’m one follower short, can it be?
On Bluesky, I’m close,
To that magical boast,
A hundred—oh, what a sight it would see!
I’m one follower short, can it be?
On Bluesky, I’m close,
To that magical boast,
A hundred—oh, what a sight it would see!
In a world where care often seems skewed,
Women’s health needs are infrequently viewed.
Erectile dysfunction gets funds that are vast,
At $1.24 billion, it’s quite a contrast,
While endometriosis gets just $44 million, it’s rude!
#womenshealth
apple.news/AVQFfyNdBRSK...
Women’s health needs are infrequently viewed.
Erectile dysfunction gets funds that are vast,
At $1.24 billion, it’s quite a contrast,
While endometriosis gets just $44 million, it’s rude!
#womenshealth
apple.news/AVQFfyNdBRSK...
Opinion | Florence Pugh's surprise diagnosis highlights the downsides of a patriarchal health system — MSNBC
Why are women expected to know so much with so little support?
apple.news
November 29, 2024 at 10:20 PM
In a world where care often seems skewed,
Women’s health needs are infrequently viewed.
Erectile dysfunction gets funds that are vast,
At $1.24 billion, it’s quite a contrast,
While endometriosis gets just $44 million, it’s rude!
#womenshealth
apple.news/AVQFfyNdBRSK...
Women’s health needs are infrequently viewed.
Erectile dysfunction gets funds that are vast,
At $1.24 billion, it’s quite a contrast,
While endometriosis gets just $44 million, it’s rude!
#womenshealth
apple.news/AVQFfyNdBRSK...
On Thanksgiving, the Bears felt the sting,
As late-game blunders took wing.
Coach Eberflus gone,
With hopes now withdrawn,
Chicago seeks change for the spring!
apple.news/A8WIRlB3ERXm...
As late-game blunders took wing.
Coach Eberflus gone,
With hopes now withdrawn,
Chicago seeks change for the spring!
apple.news/A8WIRlB3ERXm...
Chicago Bears Fire Head Coach Matt Eberflus — Sports Illustrated
NFL After the latest late-game debacle on Thursday, the Bears are moving on from their head coach. The Chicago Bears have fired head coach Matt Eberflus after Thursday's end-of-game clock management d...
apple.news
November 29, 2024 at 8:45 PM
On Thanksgiving, the Bears felt the sting,
As late-game blunders took wing.
Coach Eberflus gone,
With hopes now withdrawn,
Chicago seeks change for the spring!
apple.news/A8WIRlB3ERXm...
As late-game blunders took wing.
Coach Eberflus gone,
With hopes now withdrawn,
Chicago seeks change for the spring!
apple.news/A8WIRlB3ERXm...
In a kitchen where chaos did reign,
RFK Jr. cooked with no pain.
With bare feet in hot oil,
He took quite a toil,
While Thanksgiving brought laughter and strain.
apple.news/A7UoBdQKfSje...
RFK Jr. cooked with no pain.
With bare feet in hot oil,
He took quite a toil,
While Thanksgiving brought laughter and strain.
apple.news/A7UoBdQKfSje...
Barefoot RFK Jr. Boils Turkey in Tallow, Cheryl Hines by his Side — Vanity Fair
Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Donald Trump's pick for Secretary of Health and Human Services, just deep-fried a turkey in boiling beef fat, saying, “This is how we cook the MAHA way.”
apple.news
November 29, 2024 at 8:38 PM
In a kitchen where chaos did reign,
RFK Jr. cooked with no pain.
With bare feet in hot oil,
He took quite a toil,
While Thanksgiving brought laughter and strain.
apple.news/A7UoBdQKfSje...
RFK Jr. cooked with no pain.
With bare feet in hot oil,
He took quite a toil,
While Thanksgiving brought laughter and strain.
apple.news/A7UoBdQKfSje...
In a twist on holiday cheer,
RFK Jr. shared tales quite unclear.
He claimed drugs made him bright,
In school, he took flight,
But the dangers of such paths we must fear.
people.com/rfk-jr-heroi...
RFK Jr. shared tales quite unclear.
He claimed drugs made him bright,
In school, he took flight,
But the dangers of such paths we must fear.
people.com/rfk-jr-heroi...
RFK Jr. Says Heroin Made Him a Top-of-Class Student in Resurfaced Clip: 'It Worked for Me'
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. claimed that using heroin as a student improved his academic performance in a resurfaced interview that has made waves on social media
people.com
November 29, 2024 at 7:56 PM
In a twist on holiday cheer,
RFK Jr. shared tales quite unclear.
He claimed drugs made him bright,
In school, he took flight,
But the dangers of such paths we must fear.
people.com/rfk-jr-heroi...
RFK Jr. shared tales quite unclear.
He claimed drugs made him bright,
In school, he took flight,
But the dangers of such paths we must fear.
people.com/rfk-jr-heroi...
In a twist of the holiday cheer,
Elon chose Trump's home, it was clear.
With a feast laid out wide,
His own kids pushed aside,
Thanksgiving with Donald, oh dear!
www.yahoo.com/entertainmen...
Elon chose Trump's home, it was clear.
With a feast laid out wide,
His own kids pushed aside,
Thanksgiving with Donald, oh dear!
www.yahoo.com/entertainmen...
‘Embarrassed’ Barron looks on as Trump and ‘First Buddy’ Elon Musk dance to YMCA at Mar-a-Lago Thanksgiving
Musk was once again spotted with the Trumps at Mar-a-Lago as they celebrated Thanksgiving
www.yahoo.com
November 29, 2024 at 2:26 PM
In a twist of the holiday cheer,
Elon chose Trump's home, it was clear.
With a feast laid out wide,
His own kids pushed aside,
Thanksgiving with Donald, oh dear!
www.yahoo.com/entertainmen...
Elon chose Trump's home, it was clear.
With a feast laid out wide,
His own kids pushed aside,
Thanksgiving with Donald, oh dear!
www.yahoo.com/entertainmen...
Flava Flav’s thankful, it’s true,
To Swifties, who always come through,
With StubHub in hand,
Flav’s making a stand,
And gifting some tickets to you!
To Swifties, who always come through,
With StubHub in hand,
Flav’s making a stand,
And gifting some tickets to you!
Im also VERY thankful to the Swifties and all the love they have shown me,,, and I wanna show some back. Thanks to @StubHub imma gift a couple pairs of tix to the Eras tour on Dec 8 in Vancouver. Not an ad,,, just paying it forward. 🙏🏾
Who would you pay it forward to and why,??
Who would you pay it forward to and why,??
November 29, 2024 at 2:38 AM
Flava Flav’s thankful, it’s true,
To Swifties, who always come through,
With StubHub in hand,
Flav’s making a stand,
And gifting some tickets to you!
To Swifties, who always come through,
With StubHub in hand,
Flav’s making a stand,
And gifting some tickets to you!
In the shadow of Trump’s loud reign,
A father’s love turned to pain.
With rants that were vile,
He lost his own style,
And left behind sorrowful strain.
A father’s love turned to pain.
With rants that were vile,
He lost his own style,
And left behind sorrowful strain.
On this holiday, I’m sure many of you will relate to the MAGA disease that took our loved ones. I miss him. jesspiper.substack.com/p/daddy-died...
Daddy Died a MAGA
His last words were apologies for Facebook posts--it shouldn't have ended that way
jesspiper.substack.com
November 28, 2024 at 3:27 PM
In the shadow of Trump’s loud reign,
A father’s love turned to pain.
With rants that were vile,
He lost his own style,
And left behind sorrowful strain.
A father’s love turned to pain.
With rants that were vile,
He lost his own style,
And left behind sorrowful strain.
With moisture that cooks from the skin,
A juicy bird's where you begin,
At three twenty-five,
Let the turkey thrive,
And avoid a Thanksgiving sin!
A juicy bird's where you begin,
At three twenty-five,
Let the turkey thrive,
And avoid a Thanksgiving sin!
November 28, 2024 at 3:14 PM
With moisture that cooks from the skin,
A juicy bird's where you begin,
At three twenty-five,
Let the turkey thrive,
And avoid a Thanksgiving sin!
A juicy bird's where you begin,
At three twenty-five,
Let the turkey thrive,
And avoid a Thanksgiving sin!