The album opens with "Sonic", led by a deep 5-string bass, glittering guitar arpeggios, and muffled screaming over a sick-ass drum and bass break. They're letting us know that they're not the same band they were on ANORAK!, and they're not changing in half measures. They're back, and they have a sampler now.

I love L.L.Bean, I wish New England was real. They make the only goddamn pair of black jeans that looks right on me. As much as I may try to pose that I’m above brand loyalty and that all corporations are evil or whatever, I’m very happy with the aesthetics and quality that I get from them. The only two things that I think are missing from their catalog are CDs and all-black Bean Boots. Now, I get to experience what I have lost.

Handel: Messiah - Great Choruses by the Chicago Symphony Orchestra & Chorus is a good album, and I like it.

I don’t think my parents had this one growing up, but Crosby’s renditions of “White Christmas” and “Mele Kalikimaka (Merry Christmas)” are in heavy rotation on New Jersey FM radio. In an inversion of what is traditional for old LPs, the slow tracks take up the A-side here, and the fast tracks with the featured singers are on the B-side. The album is a classy 1940s affair, with nods to where American design would go in the 50s with its whimsical typesetting, bold contrasting colors, and focus on the center of the piece. The interior booklet is kind of lazy with only song titles and songwriters, but come on. You know the lyrics to every song on here already.

Here’s what I thought on Christmas Eve of 2024. ‘Fuck, that’s tomorrow, isn’t it? And I still have four Christmas albums to listen to this afternoon? Damn it. Well, at least work is slow. 15 songs, 35 minutes, sounds like my kind of record!’ How wrong I was.

My last shortform review wasn’t actually that short, so I’m going to keep it light on this one. Such is the blessing and the curse of having no editor and no social life.

Sing the Sorrow by AFI is a good album, and I like it.

It’s all of Mariah Carey’s number one singles on the Billboard Hot 100… plus four other songs. Surprisingly, “All I Want For Christmas Is You” isn’t on here (though it is on the Japanese version), but “When You Believe”, the duet with Whitney Houston from The Prince of Egypt, is. We don’t have animated films that are structured around having an orchestral gospel song punctuate an emotional high point anymore. Are there any high profile, show-off divas like Carey, Houston, or Celine Dion who have made waves in the past decade? I don’t know, but this compilation album is a good argument for it.

Metallica by Metallica is a good album, and I like it.

I know some of the classical world’s superstars (your Joshua Bells, Lang Langs, Julian Blisses, et cetera) but I had not yet heard of Sir James Galway of Belfast when I popped this in. It’s a compilation of previously recorded work released by the revived RCA Victor imprint of BMG.

THE ONLY NEWSPAPER BRAVE ENOUGH TO REVEAL HOW PASSERBY WERE AMAZED BY THE UNUSUALLY LARGE AMOUNTS OF BLOOD PASSERBY WERE AMAZED BY THE UNUSUALLY LARGE A...