Flups
@flups.bsky.social
56% certain I once saw Jeremy Paxman eating a sandwich at Warwick Castle.
These jeans once belonged to Jackie Wilson.
November 26, 2025 at 9:28 AM
These jeans once belonged to Jackie Wilson.
I am returning to that beautiful Scotland in two weeks with The Feral Loin Fruit™️. I’ve just booked for us to go to this wonderful looking place. GET IN MAH BELLY!
November 23, 2025 at 1:30 PM
I am returning to that beautiful Scotland in two weeks with The Feral Loin Fruit™️. I’ve just booked for us to go to this wonderful looking place. GET IN MAH BELLY!
🎶Papal reign, papal reign…🎶
November 23, 2025 at 1:24 PM
🎶Papal reign, papal reign…🎶
🎶Lip up Vatican, lip up fatty for the reggae🎶
November 23, 2025 at 1:21 PM
🎶Lip up Vatican, lip up fatty for the reggae🎶
The reason broccoli tastes of fart is because it has a bumhole.
November 23, 2025 at 9:21 AM
The reason broccoli tastes of fart is because it has a bumhole.
That’s the vicar’s Christmas present sorted.
November 19, 2025 at 6:05 PM
That’s the vicar’s Christmas present sorted.
🎶…let me rock you, let me rock you…🎶
November 16, 2025 at 6:42 PM
🎶…let me rock you, let me rock you…🎶
I KNEW MINCE PIES WERE THE WORK OF THE DEVIL! Still, it explains why they look like bumholes.
November 16, 2025 at 7:55 AM
I KNEW MINCE PIES WERE THE WORK OF THE DEVIL! Still, it explains why they look like bumholes.
🎶Today’s the day the teddy bears have their…
November 14, 2025 at 9:44 PM
🎶Today’s the day the teddy bears have their…
Everywhere I go, something reminds me of him…
November 13, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Everywhere I go, something reminds me of him…
Me on January 1st 2025 vs me half way through 2025 vs me currently.
November 12, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Me on January 1st 2025 vs me half way through 2025 vs me currently.
Today I managed to get my ample bosoms and flappy bingo wings into a size 12 dress. SIZE 12! Six months ago, a size 18 was too tight, as of this morning I’m almost five stone lighter. I’d do a victory dance if I wasn’t so old and knackered.
November 8, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Today I managed to get my ample bosoms and flappy bingo wings into a size 12 dress. SIZE 12! Six months ago, a size 18 was too tight, as of this morning I’m almost five stone lighter. I’d do a victory dance if I wasn’t so old and knackered.
A book on how to say ‘horse museum’ in French if you’re from Birmingham.
November 4, 2025 at 7:18 PM
A book on how to say ‘horse museum’ in French if you’re from Birmingham.
🎶…and whiskers on kittens…🎶
October 31, 2025 at 7:01 PM
🎶…and whiskers on kittens…🎶
“…oh, my bad. I thought you said you wanted a pastry that looked like a ‘witch had shat’…”
October 30, 2025 at 9:40 PM
“…oh, my bad. I thought you said you wanted a pastry that looked like a ‘witch had shat’…”
This is Lord Milton of Keynes. He’s asked me to let you all know that he’s available for modelling work.
October 29, 2025 at 8:15 PM
This is Lord Milton of Keynes. He’s asked me to let you all know that he’s available for modelling work.
I highly recommend you watch it, it’s on YouTube. I have watched it roughly *two million times.
*slight exaggeration.
*slight exaggeration.
October 29, 2025 at 2:54 PM
I highly recommend you watch it, it’s on YouTube. I have watched it roughly *two million times.
*slight exaggeration.
*slight exaggeration.
Marketing meeting.
“…and you’re sure that you want this exact wording on the packaging?”
“100% certain. It is perfect and in no way could it be misinterpreted”
“You don’t want to perhaps change the name of the product?”
“Absolutely not! Everyone will love playing with our ‘Sticky Balls’
*sighs*
“…and you’re sure that you want this exact wording on the packaging?”
“100% certain. It is perfect and in no way could it be misinterpreted”
“You don’t want to perhaps change the name of the product?”
“Absolutely not! Everyone will love playing with our ‘Sticky Balls’
*sighs*
October 28, 2025 at 7:16 AM
Marketing meeting.
“…and you’re sure that you want this exact wording on the packaging?”
“100% certain. It is perfect and in no way could it be misinterpreted”
“You don’t want to perhaps change the name of the product?”
“Absolutely not! Everyone will love playing with our ‘Sticky Balls’
*sighs*
“…and you’re sure that you want this exact wording on the packaging?”
“100% certain. It is perfect and in no way could it be misinterpreted”
“You don’t want to perhaps change the name of the product?”
“Absolutely not! Everyone will love playing with our ‘Sticky Balls’
*sighs*
Bright Lights, Big Settee #ASongOrMovieForAllFurniture
October 20, 2025 at 8:51 AM
Bright Lights, Big Settee #ASongOrMovieForAllFurniture
My beautiful @kirstycustard.bsky.social and I have been to the beach today where we have collected sea glass, seen a seagull skeleton and eaten fish by the sea. Best day ever.
October 19, 2025 at 4:50 PM
My beautiful @kirstycustard.bsky.social and I have been to the beach today where we have collected sea glass, seen a seagull skeleton and eaten fish by the sea. Best day ever.
My beautiful @kirstycustard.bsky.social took me up the Edinburgh Castle earlier today (not a euphemism).
October 18, 2025 at 8:44 PM
My beautiful @kirstycustard.bsky.social took me up the Edinburgh Castle earlier today (not a euphemism).
I almost bought these as a gift but then realised I could give two fox.
*coughs*
*coughs*
October 18, 2025 at 4:59 PM
I almost bought these as a gift but then realised I could give two fox.
*coughs*
*coughs*