Flups
@flups.bsky.social
56% certain I once saw Jeremy Paxman eating a sandwich at Warwick Castle.
FACT OF THE DAY.
People who are on the fence about Teflon coated saucepans are known as agnonstic.
People who are on the fence about Teflon coated saucepans are known as agnonstic.
November 25, 2025 at 7:08 AM
FACT OF THE DAY.
People who are on the fence about Teflon coated saucepans are known as agnonstic.
People who are on the fence about Teflon coated saucepans are known as agnonstic.
An advert came on the radio as I drove to work this morning during which the sentence “Danny Dyer ‘ere” was said. It sounded very much as if he was saying “Danny diarrhoea”, a phrase which has not left my thoughts all day.
November 24, 2025 at 7:35 PM
An advert came on the radio as I drove to work this morning during which the sentence “Danny Dyer ‘ere” was said. It sounded very much as if he was saying “Danny diarrhoea”, a phrase which has not left my thoughts all day.
Everyone: “It must be so lovely and peaceful being an all girl household”
Yungdaught: “I did a fart earlier which lasted about thirty seconds. The only reason it stopped was because I ran out of breath…”
Yungdaught: “I did a fart earlier which lasted about thirty seconds. The only reason it stopped was because I ran out of breath…”
November 23, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Everyone: “It must be so lovely and peaceful being an all girl household”
Yungdaught: “I did a fart earlier which lasted about thirty seconds. The only reason it stopped was because I ran out of breath…”
Yungdaught: “I did a fart earlier which lasted about thirty seconds. The only reason it stopped was because I ran out of breath…”
Reposted by Flups
I am returning to that beautiful Scotland in two weeks with The Feral Loin Fruit™️. I’ve just booked for us to go to this wonderful looking place. GET IN MAH BELLY!
November 23, 2025 at 1:30 PM
I am returning to that beautiful Scotland in two weeks with The Feral Loin Fruit™️. I’ve just booked for us to go to this wonderful looking place. GET IN MAH BELLY!
🎶Papal reign, papal reign…🎶
November 23, 2025 at 1:24 PM
🎶Papal reign, papal reign…🎶
Reposted by Flups
November 22, 2025 at 10:06 AM
🎶Lip up Vatican, lip up fatty for the reggae🎶
November 23, 2025 at 1:21 PM
🎶Lip up Vatican, lip up fatty for the reggae🎶
Reposted by Flups
I genuinely hate having to plug my work on here. I would rather post my cartoons and drawings without a link to my website, but unfortunately social media is an important element of our business, so I have to do it. I do appreciate the reposts and thank you for the support since I came to Bluesky.
November 23, 2025 at 12:21 PM
I genuinely hate having to plug my work on here. I would rather post my cartoons and drawings without a link to my website, but unfortunately social media is an important element of our business, so I have to do it. I do appreciate the reposts and thank you for the support since I came to Bluesky.
The reason broccoli tastes of fart is because it has a bumhole.
November 23, 2025 at 9:21 AM
The reason broccoli tastes of fart is because it has a bumhole.
Excuse me, barkeep, am I waiting in the correct place to order one of your finest undercooked burgers in a bun?”
“This is the line for ‘Bar A.’ we only serve alcohol, madam. If you go around the corner you’ll find the ‘Bar B.’ queue”
“This is the line for ‘Bar A.’ we only serve alcohol, madam. If you go around the corner you’ll find the ‘Bar B.’ queue”
November 20, 2025 at 7:44 AM
Excuse me, barkeep, am I waiting in the correct place to order one of your finest undercooked burgers in a bun?”
“This is the line for ‘Bar A.’ we only serve alcohol, madam. If you go around the corner you’ll find the ‘Bar B.’ queue”
“This is the line for ‘Bar A.’ we only serve alcohol, madam. If you go around the corner you’ll find the ‘Bar B.’ queue”
Last night as I was on my way home from another long day at work, an entitled, arrogant penis in a huge Bentley behind me repeatedly blasted his horn (not a euphemism) and flashed his lights because I stopped at a roundabout. If that’s the type of person having money makes you, I’m glad I’m skint.
November 20, 2025 at 7:32 AM
Last night as I was on my way home from another long day at work, an entitled, arrogant penis in a huge Bentley behind me repeatedly blasted his horn (not a euphemism) and flashed his lights because I stopped at a roundabout. If that’s the type of person having money makes you, I’m glad I’m skint.
That’s the vicar’s Christmas present sorted.
November 19, 2025 at 6:05 PM
That’s the vicar’s Christmas present sorted.
Making a large pond for wild pigs seemed easy but it turned out to be a massive boar lake.
November 18, 2025 at 7:54 AM
Making a large pond for wild pigs seemed easy but it turned out to be a massive boar lake.
🎶…let me rock you, let me rock you…🎶
November 16, 2025 at 6:42 PM
🎶…let me rock you, let me rock you…🎶
I KNEW MINCE PIES WERE THE WORK OF THE DEVIL! Still, it explains why they look like bumholes.
November 16, 2025 at 7:55 AM
I KNEW MINCE PIES WERE THE WORK OF THE DEVIL! Still, it explains why they look like bumholes.
🎶Today’s the day the teddy bears have their…
November 14, 2025 at 9:44 PM
🎶Today’s the day the teddy bears have their…
Everywhere I go, something reminds me of him…
November 13, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Everywhere I go, something reminds me of him…
Me on January 1st 2025 vs me half way through 2025 vs me currently.
November 12, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Me on January 1st 2025 vs me half way through 2025 vs me currently.
I’ve had conversations recently regarding relationships and some people seem genuinely aggrieved when I say I’m happy being single and do not want/need a relationship. They insist I’ll “find the one, one day” despite me saying I’d rather pull my intestines out via my mouth and use them as a scarf.
November 11, 2025 at 7:18 PM
I’ve had conversations recently regarding relationships and some people seem genuinely aggrieved when I say I’m happy being single and do not want/need a relationship. They insist I’ll “find the one, one day” despite me saying I’d rather pull my intestines out via my mouth and use them as a scarf.
I went to a coffee shop to get a drink and was asked by the barista if I wanted whole milk. I said “I do not want milk, nor indeed any other kind of liquid, from your or anyone else’s hole, thank you very much. Good day to you, you dirty beast!”
Absolute filth!
Absolute filth!
November 11, 2025 at 2:15 PM
I went to a coffee shop to get a drink and was asked by the barista if I wanted whole milk. I said “I do not want milk, nor indeed any other kind of liquid, from your or anyone else’s hole, thank you very much. Good day to you, you dirty beast!”
Absolute filth!
Absolute filth!
BEElzebub.
‘Lucifer’ bee with devil-like horns discovered in Australia
‘Lucifer’ bee with devil-like horns discovered in Australia
‘Lucifer’ bee with devil-like horns discovered in Australia
www.independent.co.uk
November 11, 2025 at 7:37 AM
BEElzebub.
WORD OF THE DAY.
Excellent.
To give up spreadsheets for forty days.
Excellent.
To give up spreadsheets for forty days.
November 9, 2025 at 4:17 PM
WORD OF THE DAY.
Excellent.
To give up spreadsheets for forty days.
Excellent.
To give up spreadsheets for forty days.
I spoke to a beautiful lady yesterday who told me she had met a lovely younger man organically after ten years of dating apps. She’s 67, he’s 53 and he’s besotted with her. He takes her away, showers her with gifts and she’s very happy. It’s almost enough to give my jaded heart hope. Almost.
November 9, 2025 at 3:30 PM
I spoke to a beautiful lady yesterday who told me she had met a lovely younger man organically after ten years of dating apps. She’s 67, he’s 53 and he’s besotted with her. He takes her away, showers her with gifts and she’s very happy. It’s almost enough to give my jaded heart hope. Almost.