It’s a good thing I’m not bound by your holy text then 😆

also understandable - to each their own (may pie season bring you many pies of your own choosing)

I, too, dislike hot fruit pie. My apple pie made to be eaten cold!

so if you come around disparaging apple pie, beware: for I am its defender, and you are ill-prepared for this fight

and you may weep or wail or cry or beg and maybe even try to bribe me but I will not give in.

But if you pay me, I’ll make you your very own pie (assuming I can deliver it in person)

And you may very well spend the rest of your life dreaming about said pie, as I heard from one former recipient

But I won’t tell you the ratios or the little tips and tricks that I learned from my mother and my grandmother and even now continuously improve even though I’ve focused on this one dessert for over 20 years now

You will want to know how I did it and I will tell you I followed the recipe - but the recipe won’t tell you my secrets, and you’ll want to know them, and over the years I’ve given a few away, like using three kinds of apples and substituting some white sugar for brown sugar

But I have perfected my crust, my apple choices, my spices and their ratios, my baking technique

It won’t win aesthetics; I don’t go for lattice crusts or cute but unnecessary cutouts. You’re getting a double crust fruit pie that will be perfectly baked and balanced and it will taste divine

I make just such an apple pie. You’ve hit the nail on the head, though I disagree with cheese. It’s good, yes, but if you’ve got the right apples and the right blend of spices you won’t need it - just my opinion.

I’m fine with most of it, but Bran being named king? No, thank you.

Kiki Rockwell is 🔥

just switch to “no burn November” in which you avoid razor burn - and if “no burn November” doesn’t exist it sure as hell does now

I have not yet at this point

Helm’s Deep?