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doktorzoom.bsky.social
Doktor Zoom
@doktorzoom.bsky.social
8.1K followers 3.4K following 3K posts
Wonkette writer & senior editor
I'm just an animal, looking for a home.
Retweets do not imply comprehension.
Born at 318.43 ppm atmospheric carbon.
He/him
In Idaho, but not of Idaho.
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doktorzoom.bsky.social
That's what I got, the hard way
And I'll make it better each and every day
So honey, don't you fret, heh
'Cause you ain't seen nothing yet

I'm a soul man (oh, Lord)
I'm a soul man (play it, Steve)
I'm a soul man, ha
I'm a soul man, oh
Pope Leo XIV looks like he's singing into the microphone on front of him
November 23, 2025 at 2:57 AM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
Noted climate expert James Woods weighs in.
Screenshot of tweet by James Woods, 11/21/2025: Of course TIME Magazine would finagle arson and the criminal negligence of Democrat politicians into a paean to the myth of climate change. They are so utterly ridiculous. The reservoir was empty, the fire was set by an arsonist, the hydrants were useless, you nitwits! QT of Time, 11/20/25: TIME’s new cover: What the L.A. fires reveal about America’s bleak climate future Image: Time cover, with burned out LA neighborhood seen from the air and headline "THE AFTERMATH: This year the LA wildfires came for my hometown. What happened next is a warning for us all" https://time.com/7335166/la-wildfire-recovery-climate-warning/
November 22, 2025 at 1:53 AM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
"My precious, precious child, when you saw only one set of footprints, that was when I explaining that Elon can slob a knob better than any porn performer you can name."
Screenshot of 11/20/2025 tweet by Elon Musk with a fan-made AI video of Tesla Optimus robots doing human things they can't do yet, like being cops and EMTs. This shot depicts a simulated selfie Optimus walking along the beach recording itself with its own phone held at arm's length. And there really are two sets of footprints behind it, one apparently ending suddenly.
November 21, 2025 at 10:30 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
The fuck am I supposed to do with all this goddamn bounty?
5 pounds of gold potatoes, 3 pounds russet, 7 yellow and 2 white onions, 2 beets, bowl of roma tomatoes
November 21, 2025 at 1:47 AM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
The policy documents have changed in exactly the way WaPo describes them, expunging the terms "Hate Incident" and "symbols... identified with oppression or hatred" and reclassifying swastikas and nooses as "potentially divisive." Here are the old and new versions.
Hate Incidents and CO/OIC Responsibilities. Incidents of hatred and prejudice are a vile and divisive part of American history, and unfortunately continue to occur today. Although unlawful discrimination can occur in other places, the special procedures for reporting and resolving potential hate incidents herein apply to activities on Coast Guard installations and in Coast Guard vessels, aircraft, vehicles, facilities, and workspaces. 1. A Hate Incident is defined as any intentional act (conduct or speech) of intolerance committed against a person, a group of individuals, or property which is motivated, in whole or in part, by the offender’s bias against a race, color, religion, sex (including: gender identity, sexual harassment, pregnancy, and sexual orientation), national origin, or disability and which is intended to or is more likely than not to have the effect of intimidating others or inciting others to similar conduct. 2. The display, presentation, creation, or depiction of a symbol .... widely identified with oppression or hatred, or that could reasonably be construed to encourage oppression or hatred, irrespective of size, type or how it is displayed or presented, is a potential hate incident. Other conduct or speech including highly charged epithets, slurs, or other comments not involving a symbol can also be a potential hate incident. The following is a non-exhaustive list of symbols whose display, presentation, creation, or depiction would constitute a potential hate incident: a noose, a swastika, supremacist symbols, Confederate symbols or flags, and antiSemitic symbols, among many others. The display of these type symbols constitutes a potential hate incident because hate based groups have co-opted them as symbols of supremacy, racial intolerance, religious intolerance, or other bias. Symbols can be presented as images, on any type of material or clothing, as words or numbers, and, in any combination. CHAPTER 11. PUBLIC DISPLAY OF DIVISIVE SYMBOLS AND FLAGS 1. The public display of divisive symbols and flags, including those widely identified with oppression or hatred, can undermine unit cohesion and marginalize segments of our workforce. 2. A display is considered public when viewing is unavoidable by others in Coast Guard workplaces, common access areas, public areas, or operating facilities. This includes barracks and other quarters where readily visible, the exterior of Coast Guard housing, clothing and other apparel, bumper stickers ... This does not include private spaces outside of public view, such as family housing. 3. A symbol or flag is divisive if its public display adversely affects good order and discipline, unit cohesion, command climate, morale, or mission effectiveness. B. Potentially Divisive Symbols and Flags. 1. Potentially divisive symbols and flags include, but are not limited to, the following: a noose, a swastika, and any symbols or flags co-opted or adopted by hate-based groups as representations of supremacy, racial or religious intolerance, or other bias. C. Removal of Divisive Symbols and Flags. 1. The public display of the Confederate battle flag is prohibited and shall be removed from all Coast Guard workplaces, common access areas, public areas, or operating facilities. Commanders, commanding officers, officers-in-charge, and supervisors shall inquire into public displays of other potentially divisive symbols or flags and, in consultation with their servicing legal office, may order or direct the removal of those determined to adversely affect good order and discipline, unit cohesion, command climate, morale, or mission effectiveness. 2. Displays that exist for an unquestionably legitimate purpose should not be subject to removal. Examples include state-sanctioned items or when the symbol or flag is only an incidental or minor component, such as in works of art, or in educational or historical displays
November 20, 2025 at 8:57 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
The Party didn't just tell you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears, it also demanded you to pretend there was no such thing as stochastic terrorism

The Party patiently insisted that Dear Leader meant only that the death penalty would be meted out after a fair trial, with due process.
Screenshot of 11/20/2025 Truth Social post by Donald Trump: "SEDITIOUS BEHAVIOR, punishable by DEATH!"
November 20, 2025 at 6:44 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
Quote from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy defines the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes".... Curiously enough, an edition of the Encyclopedia Galactica that had the good fortune to fall through a time warp from a thousand years in the future defined the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the wall when the revolution came."
November 20, 2025 at 3:18 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
Area World's Richest Man Extends Record Streak OfZero Self Awareness
Screenshot of 11/19/2025 tweet by Elon Musk: Grokipedia.com, which will be renamed Encyclopedia Galactica when it is at least slightly deserving of the name, is a major project @xAI This is intended to be a massive open source repository of all knowledge about the Universe. Many copies will be distributed periodically throughout the solar system to preserve knowledge for future civilizations should ours perish or subside into barbarism. We take the lesson of the Library of Alexandria to heart.
November 20, 2025 at 3:18 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
I can only imagine how the creeps at DHS might twist this.
Charlotte stopped. A moment later a tear came to Wilbur’s eye. “Oh, Charlotte,” he said. “To think that when I first met you I thought you were cruel and bloodthirsty!” When he recovered from his emotion, he spoke again. “Why did you do all this for me?” he asked. “I don’t deserve it. I’ve never done anything for you.” “You have been my friend,” replied Charlotte. “That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what’s a life, anyway? We’re born, we live a little while, we die. A spider’s life can’t help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone’s life can stand a little of that.”
November 18, 2025 at 10:37 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
How vile is Brownshirts leader Greg Bovino? Vile enough to name an ethic cleansing operation after a beloved children's book, Charlotte's Web.

Vile enough to rip a line from a metaphor about carefree wandering out of context and to change it into a threat of terror that can strike anywhere.
Screenshot of November 16 Tweet from Gregory Bovino. "‘Wherever the wind takes us. High, low. Near, far. East, west. North, south. We take to the breeze, we go as we please.’ — Charlotte’s Web This time, the breeze hit Charlotte like a storm. From border towns to the Queen City, our agents go where the mission calls."
November 18, 2025 at 10:11 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
Betcha a nickel he doesn't call the deportation sweeps in the next city "Operation Stuart Little."
November 18, 2025 at 9:46 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
Congrats to CBS News on its new web layout that literally covers the top half of your browser with ads until you scroll to the end of the story.
screenshot of Google Chrome page with one small banner ad and a larger ad for watches taking up more than half of the screen, under which the headline for a CBS news story about ICE in Chicago appears.
November 14, 2025 at 9:10 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
In all seriousness, this is a key make-you-tear-up-a-little plot moment in the anime Bunny Girl Senpai, where the protagonist takes his recovering-agoraphobic little sister to see pandas at the zoo.
Video screenshot showing Kaede, leaning over a railing to look into the giant panda enclosure, saying to her older brother Sakuta, "It's a tough life being a panda, too." screenshot: Close-up of Kaede's face as Sakuta says, of the zoo animals, "Everyone is doing their best to live their lives"
November 13, 2025 at 1:48 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
Was that one person Joyce Carol Oates?
10/30/2025 Joyce Carol Oates tweet doubling down on her scoffing at the idea that a movie could change your life: let's consider this seriously. possibly 1,000 times in my life I have been asked, "What is the book that changed your life?"--or-- "What is the film that changed your life?" are these serious questions? exactly how does a film change one's life? if your life is so insubstantial, so fragile & haphazard that a movie can change it then another movie, seen next week, will change it again.
November 12, 2025 at 9:00 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
Because they think Denis Leary's song "Asshole" is an ethos.
Photo of a diesel pickup with twin vertical exhaust pipes like a big rig, belching thick black smoke. A sticker on the rear window reads 'PRIUS REPELLENT'
November 12, 2025 at 6:06 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
ONE OF US ... ONE OF US ...
Photo of me and my just-leased "gravity blue" Kia EV6 in December 2024
November 12, 2025 at 2:41 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
Yet again, Molly Ivins had it right: Democracy is hard but it works best when you're doing it together with others and building each other up.

Bread and roses, if you will, or a revolution that *insists* on dancing.
Molly Ivins quote: "So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."
November 11, 2025 at 4:04 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
I wasn't surprised to see Thornton having another Supercat dream.

But there was a bit of of a WTF moment when I realized he was purring the John Williams theme.
November 10, 2025 at 1:24 AM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
🚨BREAKING🚨:

To go along with classy new gold "Walk of Fame" sign, Donald Trump's presidential portrait has also been updated.
The infamous white house "portrait" of Joe Biden, featuring a photo of an autopen (haw haw haw), but Donald Trump's portrait next to it is replaced with the photo of Trump standing like a lump while others helped a visitor to the oval office who fainted
November 7, 2025 at 8:12 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
Everyone in Mr. Wallace's US history class at Flagstaff High when I was in 11th grade (1978-79) would appreciate the homage to this classic 1916 cartoon. Right down to the pose.

www.pritzkermilitary.org/explore/muse...
Illustration: Depicts a very large man, having mighty muscles but no head, with no shirt on and being examined by a smiling uniformed officer. Sign on the wall reads: "Men wanted for the Army; measurements ..." Caption: Army Medical Examiner: "At last a perfect soldier!" By Robert Minor, The Masses, July, 1916.
November 7, 2025 at 7:34 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
Just realized that in that surreal shot of Sir ignoring the fainting guy, his expression and stance are very much like Christopher Walken's pre-dance look in "Weapon of Choice." But Walken lacks Sir's grossly swollen right hand.
Left: cropped photo of Donald Trump standing slack-jawed like a zombie, his shoulders stooped, arms hanging at his sides (and his right hand visibly swollen). Left: Christopher Walken adopting a similar stance, indicating disengagement or ennui, as the music video builds up to his goofily exuberant dancing.
November 7, 2025 at 2:10 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
LOLOL Update: See what I get for reading a Fox News article? Fox attributed the quote to LaCivita, but it was actually a completely different wingnut who was quote-tweeting LaCivita. Apologies for my error in judgement!

www.foxnews.com/politics/key...

x.com/alexbruesewi...
Tweet by "Alex Bruesewitz": Candidate quality matters. Tonight was a great lesson for the Republican Party: running squishy Rs who are lukewarm on Trump and MAGA, even in “purple” states, doesn’t work. Your candidate needs to be able to turn out ALL FACTIONS of our party, and they do that by being MAGA all the way. In Virginia, for example, on the top of the ticket you had @winwithwinsome , who is no friend to President Trump. She was nasty toward the President after the midterms in 2022, and she worked against us big time in the 2024 primary. No MAGA voter was excited to get out and vote for her and she brought down the whole ticket. Voters don’t think there’s much of a difference between a weak establishment R and a D. Republicans must get smart and run only MAGA candidates moving forward; otherwise, there will be massive turnout problems when @realDonaldTrump is not on the ballot! Quote tweet of Chris LaCivita, who wrote "A Bad candidate and Bad campaign have consequences - the Virginia Governors race is example number 1."
November 6, 2025 at 7:06 PM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
(Originally posted in reply to one of the rare good things still at the Other Place)

x.com/Ky1eKatarn/s...
Quote tweet by Kyle Katarn. he reposts his own tweet from a couple hours before the QT: "There's a cat shelter in my neighborhood, I'm just gonna visit" Quote tweet is a photo, looking down at his feet and his left hand, carrying a cardboard pet box with air holes on top and sides. Text: 'Whoops"
November 6, 2025 at 1:27 AM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
2019: I'll just see if there are any cats in the Petsmart adoption center.

5 minutes later; then suddenly 6 years after that:
June (?) 2019. The second or third time I went to see Thornton at the Petsmart adoption place. Side view of me, an old balding dude with white hair & beard, holding my grey tabby, who is snugged up against my chest and purring. He spontaneously climbed up on me. I'm leaning down to nuzzle his little soft head. My grey tabby cat Thornton sitting politely on my messy desk, his tail curled over his front paws.
November 6, 2025 at 1:06 AM
doktorzoom.bsky.social
Challenge: Find this cute li'l fella in a photo of the over-marbly White House bathroom.
Hideous White House bathroom with four versions of the cute black and white cat, of various sizes, photoshopped in.
October 31, 2025 at 8:04 PM