Dennis Heaton
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dennisheaton.bsky.social
Dennis Heaton
@dennisheaton.bsky.social
cannibal-in-training.
will Purge For money.
Achievement unlocked: staycation bouquet
December 6, 2025 at 4:34 AM
The Fifa Peace Prize trophy looks like a zombie movie poster.
December 5, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Finally, someone has the balls to take on Nobel and their monopoly on "Big Peace."
December 5, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Congratulations, Netflix.

Release Batgirl.
December 5, 2025 at 2:23 PM
Reposted by Dennis Heaton
December 1, 2025 at 11:19 PM
I'm not saying this is the best Onion article of all time, but this one always makes me laugh.

Death Star Kids Are Special!

theonion.com/death-star-t...
Death Star To Open Day Care Center
After months of speculation, it was confirmed yesterday that the Death Star, the Empire’s vaunted, planet-destroying space station, has added a new, state-of-the-art day care center to its already vas...
theonion.com
November 28, 2025 at 2:22 PM
Caramilk Devil Anything..? 1982
YouTube video by Retrontario
youtu.be
November 28, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Mac Tonight Commercial
YouTube video by OffbeatFrontier
youtu.be
November 28, 2025 at 1:54 AM
I am Astar, a robot.

youtu.be/Km4f-eRE4Kc?...
I am Astar, a Robot PSA 1980s
YouTube video by Retrontario
youtu.be
November 28, 2025 at 1:53 AM
You ever been to sea, Billy?

youtu.be/__QmUvZCNaI?...
Captain Highliner 1979
YouTube video by Retrontario
youtu.be
November 28, 2025 at 1:52 AM
It was Jean Pierre Baptiste.
November 27, 2025 at 5:48 PM
You know what I think we should do?

youtu.be/aCbfMkh940Q?...
Nuke the entire site fom orbit
YouTube video by Nameless Voice
youtu.be
November 27, 2025 at 5:08 AM
Anyone watching the airports to see who tries to make a run for it?
November 19, 2025 at 12:16 AM
Kevin O'Leary's in a movie?!
Oh, boy!
I can't wait to never see it!
November 18, 2025 at 3:35 PM
If you haven't eaten a Montreal smoked meat croissant from beaucoup bakery, then honestly, you sicken me.
November 16, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Look, guys, I'm not saying that the conqueror challenges new Scooby Doo medal is exactly what I need right now, but I can confirm that it's exactly what I don't not need right now.

www.theconqueror.events/thesnowbeast...
Scooby doo™ and the snow beast Virtual Challenge | The Conqueror
Get ready to sprint, stroll, or pedal into a thrilling case based on the episode, “A Scary Night with a Snow Beast Fright.” This challenge lets you experience the classic Scooby-Doo™ mystery as you re...
www.theconqueror.events
November 12, 2025 at 3:20 PM
You know what you guys need? You need 18+ minutes of Arya Stark killing folks.

Don't say I never give you anything.

youtu.be/8DJKZHxXnH8?...
Arya Stark Kill Count Season 1-8 Game of Thrones
YouTube video by MikaylaRayne020
youtu.be
November 12, 2025 at 6:12 AM
That temporary fence should keep the demons in.

www.bbc.com/news/article...
Somerset church tomb collapse exposes 1700s stone crypt
The church says it is currently unclear whether the collapse has damaged any surrounding graves.
www.bbc.com
November 9, 2025 at 7:47 PM
This.
That's what I'm talking about.
Let that sink in.
November 9, 2025 at 7:46 PM
Is it just me or is the Amazon video app on Apple TV an unrelenting piece of poop?
November 6, 2025 at 2:18 AM
I hear Prince William plans to celebrate bonfire night this year by hunting Andrew Mountbatten Windsor for sport on the grounds of Sandringham with his wife and kids.

It's so nice how they make time for family.
November 5, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Whoever sculpted this Curse Of Frankenstein mask watched a lot of Chevy Chase movies.

A lot of them.
November 5, 2025 at 5:34 AM
My favorite new horror genre? Pregnant-with-evil nun movies.

Say what you want about Immaculate, that is an uncompromising ending.
November 3, 2025 at 5:49 PM