Dark Helmet
@darkhelmetsb.bsky.social
Dark Helmet, Lord of the Schwartz, Leader of the Imperious Forces of the Spaceballs. Coffee and radar enthusiast. Parody/semi-RP comedy. Crosses the streams mercilessly.
Game Over...FOR YOUR SANITY
November 25, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Game Over...FOR YOUR SANITY
The executions will continue until morale improves.
November 25, 2025 at 12:44 PM
The executions will continue until morale improves.
I'm not sure about the new caterers we hired for Thanksgiving.
November 24, 2025 at 1:31 PM
I'm not sure about the new caterers we hired for Thanksgiving.
Computer, activate the Emergency Culinary Hologram.
November 24, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Computer, activate the Emergency Culinary Hologram.
All I wanted was a sandwich.
November 23, 2025 at 2:11 AM
All I wanted was a sandwich.
NEVER SLEEP AGAIN
November 22, 2025 at 7:46 PM
NEVER SLEEP AGAIN
Is that it? Are we stopped?
November 22, 2025 at 11:55 AM
Is that it? Are we stopped?
YOU UNDERSTAND "BRIVARI", YES?
November 22, 2025 at 2:06 AM
YOU UNDERSTAND "BRIVARI", YES?
MY BRAINS ARE GOING INTO MY FEET
November 22, 2025 at 1:51 AM
MY BRAINS ARE GOING INTO MY FEET
Ludicrous speed drinking- GO!
November 22, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Ludicrous speed drinking- GO!
Apparently "You have failed me for the last time" isn't the morale booster I thought it was.
Oh, well.
Sorry, Frank.
Oh, well.
Sorry, Frank.
November 19, 2025 at 12:56 PM
Apparently "You have failed me for the last time" isn't the morale booster I thought it was.
Oh, well.
Sorry, Frank.
Oh, well.
Sorry, Frank.
If you see this, post your getaway vehicle.
It's not so much "getaway" as "we're coming to steal your air".
It's not so much "getaway" as "we're coming to steal your air".
November 19, 2025 at 12:41 PM
If you see this, post your getaway vehicle.
It's not so much "getaway" as "we're coming to steal your air".
It's not so much "getaway" as "we're coming to steal your air".
The executions will continue until morale improves.
November 18, 2025 at 9:09 PM
The executions will continue until morale improves.
I'm never ordering the special at Quark's again.
November 18, 2025 at 4:14 PM
I'm never ordering the special at Quark's again.
You better run it's the
November 18, 2025 at 12:04 AM
You better run it's the
Monkey brains- delicious and nutritious!
November 17, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Monkey brains- delicious and nutritious!
It is Monday. Today we have programmed your agony booths for Maximum Unpleasant Stimuli. Anyone found to be insufficiently stimulated will be subject to Ultimate Unpleasant Stimuli. Have a nice day.
November 17, 2025 at 1:01 PM
It is Monday. Today we have programmed your agony booths for Maximum Unpleasant Stimuli. Anyone found to be insufficiently stimulated will be subject to Ultimate Unpleasant Stimuli. Have a nice day.
This planet has gone to the apes.
November 17, 2025 at 12:55 AM
This planet has gone to the apes.
I hate those guys! They did some kind of experiment on me!
November 16, 2025 at 6:03 PM
I hate those guys! They did some kind of experiment on me!