Dark Helmet
@darkhelmetsb.bsky.social
Dark Helmet, Lord of the Schwartz, Leader of the Imperious Forces of the Spaceballs. Coffee and radar enthusiast. Parody/semi-RP comedy. Crosses the streams mercilessly.
Game Over...FOR YOUR SANITY
November 25, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Game Over...FOR YOUR SANITY
The executions will continue until morale improves.
November 25, 2025 at 12:44 PM
The executions will continue until morale improves.
Reposted by Dark Helmet
Vegetables are not food. Vegetables are what food eats.
November 22, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Vegetables are not food. Vegetables are what food eats.
No, Colonel Sandurz, the mutant turkey paratroopers can definitely fly. They're birds! It would be stupid if they couldn't!
November 24, 2025 at 8:59 PM
No, Colonel Sandurz, the mutant turkey paratroopers can definitely fly. They're birds! It would be stupid if they couldn't!
Vulcans are space elves. Romulans are space drow. Discuss why this is true.
November 24, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Vulcans are space elves. Romulans are space drow. Discuss why this is true.
I'm not sure about the new caterers we hired for Thanksgiving.
November 24, 2025 at 1:31 PM
I'm not sure about the new caterers we hired for Thanksgiving.
Computer, activate the Emergency Culinary Hologram.
November 24, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Computer, activate the Emergency Culinary Hologram.
...another Timmy.
::muffled screaming::
Say it with me.
We're gonna need...
Say it with me.
We're gonna need...
November 24, 2025 at 12:10 AM
...another Timmy.
The mutant turkey paratroopers are almost ready for the Thanksgiving assault on Druidia. This year we can't fail! It will work this time!
You realize that this is a holiday tradition.
You realize that this is a holiday tradition.
November 23, 2025 at 9:13 PM
The mutant turkey paratroopers are almost ready for the Thanksgiving assault on Druidia. This year we can't fail! It will work this time!
You realize that this is a holiday tradition.
You realize that this is a holiday tradition.
THE RODEO IS BACK IN TOWN! @sharatheorion.bsky.social
a cowboy is riding a bull at a rodeo
ALT: a cowboy is riding a bull at a rodeo
media.tenor.com
November 23, 2025 at 2:23 AM
THE RODEO IS BACK IN TOWN! @sharatheorion.bsky.social
Just because the Gorn are foul-smelling reptilian monsters who eat their own young and ours too doesn't mean that we can't be friends.
November 23, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Just because the Gorn are foul-smelling reptilian monsters who eat their own young and ours too doesn't mean that we can't be friends.
All I wanted was a sandwich.
November 23, 2025 at 2:11 AM
All I wanted was a sandwich.
::muffled screaming::
Say it with me.
We're gonna need...
Say it with me.
We're gonna need...
November 23, 2025 at 12:55 AM
::muffled screaming::
Say it with me.
We're gonna need...
Say it with me.
We're gonna need...
Speaking of, I'm gonna need a replacement cybernetic liver. After last night, this one isn't working anymore. Have any heavy duty ones?
Locutus aesthetic tip: People who say that no one is perfect obviously do not have enough cybernetic implants.
November 22, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Speaking of, I'm gonna need a replacement cybernetic liver. After last night, this one isn't working anymore. Have any heavy duty ones?
NEVER SLEEP AGAIN
November 22, 2025 at 7:46 PM
NEVER SLEEP AGAIN
Krampus is gonna take you on a slayride.
November 22, 2025 at 1:24 PM
Krampus is gonna take you on a slayride.
Today we have programmed your agony booths for Double Secret Overtime. It's twice the work and none of the pay!
November 22, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Today we have programmed your agony booths for Double Secret Overtime. It's twice the work and none of the pay!
Is that it? Are we stopped?
November 22, 2025 at 11:55 AM
Is that it? Are we stopped?
YOU UNDERSTAND "BRIVARI", YES?
November 22, 2025 at 2:06 AM
YOU UNDERSTAND "BRIVARI", YES?
::thumping pornobass playing on all comm channels::
OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ
OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ
November 22, 2025 at 2:02 AM
::thumping pornobass playing on all comm channels::
OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ
OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ
MY BRAINS ARE GOING INTO MY FEET
November 22, 2025 at 1:51 AM
MY BRAINS ARE GOING INTO MY FEET
Vegetables are not food. Vegetables are what food eats.
November 22, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Vegetables are not food. Vegetables are what food eats.
Tonight I'm voiding the warranty on my cybernetic liver.
November 22, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Tonight I'm voiding the warranty on my cybernetic liver.