Midwest Procrastinator
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ctinalk.bsky.social
Midwest Procrastinator
@ctinalk.bsky.social
Perennially online millennial, ace, she/her, I read and yell at words for a living.
I exist in the Venn diagram of law/politics-sky, LGBTQ+ rights, ADHD, and the Good Omens fandom.
Pinned
Or as they may have said in the 1790’s: “Ferme ta gueule.*”
ITS SHUT THE FUCK UP FRIDAY

This is a very important message you should share with the people in your life that may be hitting the streets to protest: never talk to the police! WATCH:
Seller: We don’t ship to PO Boxes give us your street address.
Me: The PO Box is the final point for all mail. We don’t get mail at the house. [gives street address and asks to include PO]
S: We don’t do PO Boxes, we will only ship it to the street address.

Package: Gets delivered to the PO Box 🤦
November 23, 2025 at 8:28 PM
It is deeply entertaining that the photos from the White House today show an enthralled fanboy Trump and Mamdani smirking a nearly audible “Get a load of this schmuck.”
November 22, 2025 at 5:13 AM
If I had to see this unprecedented combination of words then you do too.
J.D. “Baloney Nipples” Vance.
November 21, 2025 at 9:17 PM
@kathryntewson.bsky.social Unsure how best to ask, do you know of reviews of AI legal software that aren’t hype pieces? Work’s testing a contract review one w/ a gpt base & want to go armed w/ criticisms, but 3rd party/AI-skeptic reviews seem impossible to find.
Thank you & thank you for all you do!
November 21, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Reposted by Midwest Procrastinator
i went out to dinner with this guy and this is what he texted me immediately after

… whatever happened to “nice to meet you”
November 16, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Never skipping arms at the gym while also working on violin bow technique is a potent combo.
November 20, 2025 at 2:57 AM
Made “chocolate cake” chia seed pudding with low expectations. Figured I’d probably hate it, with a small chance of loving it.
It is somehow firmly in the “meh, it’s fine I guess.”
November 20, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Two of the 5 don’t use it at all, that I’ve ever seen. Two use it normally. One stances on it like she doesn’t trust it all but does technically use it in the most bizarre way possible. Lightweight clay litter I’ve found is best. I wish sawdust worked better in it.
Still worth it.
2 words... Litter Robot. You'll thank me.. I have 4 cats, and I'd die otherwise.
November 19, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Reposted by Midwest Procrastinator
I'm at the Target boycott, I'm at the Starbucks boycott, I'm at the combination Target boycott and Starbucks boycott
Beginning Monday, a Frozen Peppermint Hot Chocolate drink will be available exclusively at Starbucks cafés inside Target stores.

The chains are hoping the drink can drum up excitement from customers this holiday season.

🔗https://tinyurl.com/yrshv45s
November 17, 2025 at 9:14 PM
“Your AI-powered Mental Health Chatbot.”
Excuse me?
Have you read any of the news lately?
a group of stormtroopers are fighting a fire with the words `` kill it with fire '' .
Alt: a group of stormtroopers are firing flamethrowers with the words `` kill it with fire '' .
media.tenor.com
November 19, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Reposted by Midwest Procrastinator
I get that it’s a CLE and if it was too short I wouldn’t get my hours.

But a CLE on ChatGPT and attorney ethics should be someone saying “just fucking don’t” and then staring at the camera saying “seriously, no” every five minutes for the following hour.
November 18, 2025 at 6:53 PM
My office has a couple guys in other departments that’s coworker has started to refer to as Big Mark and Sub Mark and I cannot stop tittering like a child when she does.
November 18, 2025 at 2:47 PM
November 17, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Reposted by Midwest Procrastinator
Related, because I've been sitting on this for years, but if you're a Good Omens writer please know that Chateauneuf-du-Pape is not a particular wine but instead a wine region located in the south of France. They're particularly noted for red wines but CdP can also be white. CdP is especially noted-
November 16, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Apparently at a certain stage of hunger I go from “snack aisle” hungry to “eat a fruit” hungry.

Went to Costco and walked out with apples, bananas, plums, and grapes.

(and a bag of mini Dubai chocolate bars but let’s look past that.)
November 16, 2025 at 4:10 AM
We have finally arrived at the “it feels normal” phase, time to implement the “strengthen and rehabilitate without screwing it all up and having to start over” phase…
I’m going to be very annoyed if the solution to my inflamed heel/achilles is just wearing shoes around the house and not overextending it at the gym.
What do you *mean* rest actually works? Have you met me?
November 14, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Reposted by Midwest Procrastinator
November 13, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Kids soccer cleats! Retail $275!

Description: See photos, 2 left shoes
Online auctions sites be like: NAME BRAND king-size inflatable bed (see description)

Description: Has large rip on one side, does not inflate
November 13, 2025 at 5:27 PM
The thing about getting a “good job” from the dentist is now I feel like I have a reputation to keep up.
November 13, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Gonna connect some more dots here and say that the loss of right-to-repair has also resulted in the loss of pride and self-worth associated with fixing something on your own.

Brought to you by me being able to troubleshoot and fix my robot vacuum with parts available to me directly.
November 12, 2025 at 11:54 PM
“Sir. Please. You have a lap, I’m just not petting you. It’s not like I’m violating the Geneva Convention here.”
Him- Liar, straight to jail.
November 12, 2025 at 5:35 PM
The fun conundrum of “is my eczema flare because of stress or the fact I swapped soaps, or both?”
Both are equally likely and any lotion or cream will only make it even worse….
November 12, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Reposted by Midwest Procrastinator
red aurora said: what if all 3 at once

“Aurorae are said to have foretold the death of Julius Caesar (44 BCE) and predicted the American Civil War (1860), and the French Revolution.”
Extremely Rare Blood Red Aurora Dancing Over Iceland
Witness the rare and stunning blood-red Aurora over Iceland. A celestial phenomenon like no other. Learn more about this rare sighting today!
aurorareykjavik.is
November 12, 2025 at 4:55 AM
Reposted by Midwest Procrastinator
No words. I’m a block from home.
November 12, 2025 at 4:41 AM
YA’ll
I’ve never seen them, let alone let this be my first time. This is incredible.
November 12, 2025 at 4:00 AM