Collin Reischman
@collinreischman.bsky.social
Former political reporter | Current organized labor comms (UFCW) | My jokes are bad
It’s wild that the funniest thing I’ve ever read is also the reason I’ll have to kill myself
November 26, 2025 at 8:40 AM
It’s wild that the funniest thing I’ve ever read is also the reason I’ll have to kill myself
Media literacy died and satire died right along with it
November 25, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Media literacy died and satire died right along with it
Olivia Nuzzi’s book is further proof of my own theory that everyone is insane now
November 18, 2025 at 3:09 PM
Olivia Nuzzi’s book is further proof of my own theory that everyone is insane now
If the airport is open then the stores should be open too, regardless of how early or late
November 13, 2025 at 4:49 PM
If the airport is open then the stores should be open too, regardless of how early or late
“So much in that excellent formula”
November 11, 2025 at 9:34 PM
“So much in that excellent formula”
Pure Elon. Performative masculinity AND his new flavor (performative cultured guy) AND linking the wrong book. Truly God-tier Loser shit.
November 11, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Pure Elon. Performative masculinity AND his new flavor (performative cultured guy) AND linking the wrong book. Truly God-tier Loser shit.
Listen I don’t like it any more than you do but unless someone else figures out how to bring this level of Hater to the race then it might just end up being him
November 11, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Listen I don’t like it any more than you do but unless someone else figures out how to bring this level of Hater to the race then it might just end up being him
I think maybe Nate was just an unfuckable nerd most of his life and now he sees a chance to seem like one of the “normal” people so he’s saying shit like this
November 10, 2025 at 8:07 PM
I think maybe Nate was just an unfuckable nerd most of his life and now he sees a chance to seem like one of the “normal” people so he’s saying shit like this
Bro thinks he’s gonna get a prize for this?
November 10, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Bro thinks he’s gonna get a prize for this?
This is an actual slide from a speaker at a conference I am attending and I truly don’t understand how people get paid to say this meaningless bullshit and call it insight
November 10, 2025 at 7:52 PM
This is an actual slide from a speaker at a conference I am attending and I truly don’t understand how people get paid to say this meaningless bullshit and call it insight
A few years ago I told a friend that I will exclusively be referring to Ross as “Ross DoucheHat” and boy has that decision really held up
November 6, 2025 at 5:25 PM
A few years ago I told a friend that I will exclusively be referring to Ross as “Ross DoucheHat” and boy has that decision really held up
I’m not kidding when I say the first sentence of this tweet is the funniest fucking thing on Earth — I cannot believe people are this stupid
November 6, 2025 at 12:56 AM
I’m not kidding when I say the first sentence of this tweet is the funniest fucking thing on Earth — I cannot believe people are this stupid
Me, stoned out of my mind, trying to explain to my girl how good my meal was
November 5, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Me, stoned out of my mind, trying to explain to my girl how good my meal was
You have to be unflinchingly committed to the grift to say this while remaining absolutely silent about the fact that Qatar bought Donald Trump an entire fucking plane
November 5, 2025 at 11:05 PM
You have to be unflinchingly committed to the grift to say this while remaining absolutely silent about the fact that Qatar bought Donald Trump an entire fucking plane
You’re all too comfortable being “average”
I’m chasing excellence.
I won’t settle for “average”
Make a plan. Chase the goal. Never settle for “average”
I’m chasing excellence.
I won’t settle for “average”
Make a plan. Chase the goal. Never settle for “average”
November 4, 2025 at 2:18 AM
You’re all too comfortable being “average”
I’m chasing excellence.
I won’t settle for “average”
Make a plan. Chase the goal. Never settle for “average”
I’m chasing excellence.
I won’t settle for “average”
Make a plan. Chase the goal. Never settle for “average”
I don’t want to sound like a fucking boomer but ‘67’ IS A FUCKING NUMBER AND NOT A WORD
October 29, 2025 at 8:30 PM
I don’t want to sound like a fucking boomer but ‘67’ IS A FUCKING NUMBER AND NOT A WORD
I need to report a murder
October 27, 2025 at 7:11 PM
I need to report a murder
It’s all fun and games until A24 does a body horror Mr. Potato Head movie that mines a kind of terror we didn’t even know existed
October 24, 2025 at 3:05 PM
It’s all fun and games until A24 does a body horror Mr. Potato Head movie that mines a kind of terror we didn’t even know existed
Renovating the White House, even for the purpose of adding a large event space/ballroom isn’t fundamentally bad, we’re all just not happy about it because we know Trump will make it ugly with his signature tacky aesthetic
October 22, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Renovating the White House, even for the purpose of adding a large event space/ballroom isn’t fundamentally bad, we’re all just not happy about it because we know Trump will make it ugly with his signature tacky aesthetic
This is something you’d hear being muttered by the guy on the bus that makes everyone uncomfortable
October 22, 2025 at 2:48 PM
This is something you’d hear being muttered by the guy on the bus that makes everyone uncomfortable