Love is patient, love is kind, unless you have a Korean wife

if there’s anything I learned from pouring hours into that MA thesis, it’s that meritocracy never exists then nor now.

def efforts have been made to make things better, but it’s not like everyone has the same amount of capital from birth like a video game character starting with 10 pts on all stats

obv luck plays a role too--having the right social capital, e.g., meeting the right people--unless you're already born to a family with massive social capital or into a family with wealth, then you can turn econ capital to soc capital, e.g., education.

i know bourdieu's theory has flaws, but c'mon!

and with that, my brain is taking the night off.

back to enjoying the male gaze of apothecary's diaries and none of these intellectual thoughts

those hundreds of hours poured into "classical" rep thru czerny, beyer, the too many sonatinas, etc. build the chops--IMO similar to figured bass realization training

which kinda explains how most of us struggle sight-reading none-common practice music (they're not following the patterns!)

ohhhh i didn't even think about that. yes, they would have to solely rely on visual stimuli for that.

somewhere along the lines, adept sight-readers stop reading notes as single notes and process them as patterns (arpeggios, scalar, alberti, etc.)

also process those patterns (esp. LH alberti/arpeggio) not as individual notes, i.e., we don't process LH C beat 1 lands with RH G if LH plays alberti

(and gotta be honest, some folks are simply blessed w higher processing ability for visual cues...and others aren't as blessed)

although...i feel like the way we process intervals don't rely solely on the fingertips nerves...i think we memorize/internalize the specific distance/hand shape for the intervals thru repetitions.

def gonna affect sense of articulations tho--or at least the numbness makes it much more challenging

right? i think young humans, e.g., children-adolescents, have more live nerves (or whatever the fancy terms are)...and as we get older, we gradually lose some tactile sensory ability

but to not have them at all? that's rough.
(although, i guess it may not affect how they manipulate dynamics?)

- person B has some form of hypoesthesia/numbness that makes them rely solely on visual stimuli to do fine motor activity, i.e., stars origami

whichhhh made me really think about the way pianists process stimuli from the keyboard, to brain, and back to the hands...as well as disability & piano

(she thought I was going to say “joy.” maybe I’m projecting my own anxieties, trauma, or whatever, but I do stand by what I said.)

I wish for everyone to pick up their dog poo

a great addition for composers doing normal shit (succeeding/failing to perform)

started apothecary’s diaries last night and it cured me?!?! the unholy amount of male gaze media cured me?!?! praise sappho?!?!?! I have energy and brain power?!?!