Chris Binglover
@chelounger.bsky.social
I bet it would feel so good at first to get microwaved
December 21, 2025 at 2:27 PM
I bet it would feel so good at first to get microwaved
Reposted by Chris Binglover
“When it comes to putting together a crew with the skills needed for a bank job or a jewel heist, a majority of Americans reported knowing just one or two guys, tops,” said lead researcher Jane Iannitello
Study Finds 80% Of Americans Lack Social Connections To Pull Off Heist
NEW HAVEN, CT—Shedding new light on a previously undocumented effect of loneliness, a team of psychologists at Yale University found that at least 80% of Americans lack the social connections necessar...
theonion.com
December 12, 2025 at 12:30 AM
“When it comes to putting together a crew with the skills needed for a bank job or a jewel heist, a majority of Americans reported knowing just one or two guys, tops,” said lead researcher Jane Iannitello
Reposted by Chris Binglover
Welp! I've been ordered to pay 100 camels. FML
December 11, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Welp! I've been ordered to pay 100 camels. FML
Reposted by Chris Binglover
me: "did you just put whiskey in your tea?"
wife: "what? listen. what is this, fuckin.. a fuckin.." (kisses me to avoid answering question directly)
wife: "what? listen. what is this, fuckin.. a fuckin.." (kisses me to avoid answering question directly)
December 12, 2025 at 12:07 AM
me: "did you just put whiskey in your tea?"
wife: "what? listen. what is this, fuckin.. a fuckin.." (kisses me to avoid answering question directly)
wife: "what? listen. what is this, fuckin.. a fuckin.." (kisses me to avoid answering question directly)
I'm ready for big tech to know everything about us so it can tell me what to get my wife for Christmas
December 5, 2025 at 3:59 PM
I'm ready for big tech to know everything about us so it can tell me what to get my wife for Christmas
I am cool enough that I heard pitchfork's AOTY before they published the list but not cool enough that I could stand listening to it
December 3, 2025 at 2:20 AM
I am cool enough that I heard pitchfork's AOTY before they published the list but not cool enough that I could stand listening to it
Reposted by Chris Binglover
Hmmmmm, could you be thinking of this one?
November 28, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Hmmmmm, could you be thinking of this one?
How do I buy puts on these
October 26, 2025 at 5:42 PM
How do I buy puts on these
The other day a raven followed me for half a mile while I was running, flitting from tree to tree and squawking at me. Then later I checked the numbers on a lottery ticket I bought and I didn't win. The universe speaks if you simply try to listen
October 24, 2025 at 2:45 PM
The other day a raven followed me for half a mile while I was running, flitting from tree to tree and squawking at me. Then later I checked the numbers on a lottery ticket I bought and I didn't win. The universe speaks if you simply try to listen
If you heart react your boss's message in Teams that is equivalent to telling them "I love you"
October 9, 2025 at 4:07 PM
If you heart react your boss's message in Teams that is equivalent to telling them "I love you"
I'm eating a sandwich with a fork and knife just to annoy you
October 6, 2025 at 7:52 PM
I'm eating a sandwich with a fork and knife just to annoy you
My buddy told me the cover art for Radiohead's "A moon shaped pool" is blood and cum mixed together 😳
September 6, 2025 at 1:47 AM
My buddy told me the cover art for Radiohead's "A moon shaped pool" is blood and cum mixed together 😳
Reposted by Chris Binglover
I love when someone starts rattling off a long list of blues or jazz musicians
August 1, 2025 at 6:41 PM
I love when someone starts rattling off a long list of blues or jazz musicians
Reposted by Chris Binglover
7:59 pm: I love you my precious angel. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I will always be there for you. Good night ❤️
8:30 pm: if you do not stay in your bedroom and stop asking me for things I am going to sell you into white slavery
8:30 pm: if you do not stay in your bedroom and stop asking me for things I am going to sell you into white slavery
July 6, 2025 at 1:32 AM
7:59 pm: I love you my precious angel. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I will always be there for you. Good night ❤️
8:30 pm: if you do not stay in your bedroom and stop asking me for things I am going to sell you into white slavery
8:30 pm: if you do not stay in your bedroom and stop asking me for things I am going to sell you into white slavery
Reposted by Chris Binglover
when you’re older you’ll get more conservative. Nope wrong. When you have kids you’ll want a car. Bzzzt, still wrong. When you’re 80 you won’t go out in a blaze of glory with a carefully constructed “to do” list. Well jury’s still out
June 25, 2025 at 1:26 PM
when you’re older you’ll get more conservative. Nope wrong. When you have kids you’ll want a car. Bzzzt, still wrong. When you’re 80 you won’t go out in a blaze of glory with a carefully constructed “to do” list. Well jury’s still out
Reposted by Chris Binglover
at a hotel overnight for a wedding, and I came down to the lobby breakfast area, where two middle aged guys were sitting near each other. One said "djyou see we bombed Iran?" and the other said, with scrambled eggs in his mouth, "what?"
June 22, 2025 at 5:32 PM
at a hotel overnight for a wedding, and I came down to the lobby breakfast area, where two middle aged guys were sitting near each other. One said "djyou see we bombed Iran?" and the other said, with scrambled eggs in his mouth, "what?"
Reposted by Chris Binglover
men’s swim trunks only come in two kinds: “Target For Dads Resignation Line” sizes Husky through Muumuu all with a 26” inseam OR “Sexxx by Bruce Ass” Sequin Thonglet only in sizes 28, 30, or 44
June 22, 2025 at 6:42 PM
men’s swim trunks only come in two kinds: “Target For Dads Resignation Line” sizes Husky through Muumuu all with a 26” inseam OR “Sexxx by Bruce Ass” Sequin Thonglet only in sizes 28, 30, or 44
It brings me no pleasure to report that Chappell Roan has been cancelled for singing about Papa John
June 22, 2025 at 10:41 PM
It brings me no pleasure to report that Chappell Roan has been cancelled for singing about Papa John
Really good nyt crossword today
May 25, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Really good nyt crossword today
Reposted by Chris Binglover
Reposted by Chris Binglover
wife: "oh lookit that! It's a boot! Do you think it's for like.. a business or something?"
me: "well. I wouldn't want to assume anything. It's probably just somebody's regular car"
me: "well. I wouldn't want to assume anything. It's probably just somebody's regular car"
May 24, 2025 at 9:38 PM
wife: "oh lookit that! It's a boot! Do you think it's for like.. a business or something?"
me: "well. I wouldn't want to assume anything. It's probably just somebody's regular car"
me: "well. I wouldn't want to assume anything. It's probably just somebody's regular car"
Not sure what the value proposition of going to college is anymore if all the white collar cognitive jobs will be done by AI
May 19, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Not sure what the value proposition of going to college is anymore if all the white collar cognitive jobs will be done by AI
Reposted by Chris Binglover
this is an excellent post, but one of the funniest aspects is the replies and quotes disabled. You can already feel the hordes itching to weigh in on this. Like jazz, sometimes the beauty of a tweet is the replies you CAN'T see
May 18, 2025 at 12:42 PM
this is an excellent post, but one of the funniest aspects is the replies and quotes disabled. You can already feel the hordes itching to weigh in on this. Like jazz, sometimes the beauty of a tweet is the replies you CAN'T see
They should invent microplastics that leech testosterone
May 18, 2025 at 4:35 PM
They should invent microplastics that leech testosterone