Cally Beaton
@callybeaton.bsky.social
⭐️ 2025/26 TOUR ⭐️ + BESTSELLING BOOK ‘Namaste Motherf*ckers’ OUT NOW! 🙏🏻 At 45, Joan Rivers told me to get into stand-up. So I did. She was 81 • Live at the Apollo • QI •
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Cally Beaton
@callybeaton.bsky.social
· Jul 25
I’m getting so many lovely messages from fellow midlife women saying they forgot they’d pre-ordered it and have bought it again; some more than once. Wondering if anyone’s ever made it onto bestseller list on back of menopause/brain fog before? Happy to be the first:
callybeaton.com/shop/
callybeaton.com/shop/
Nothing worse than turning up in the exact same outfit as someone else, is there.
November 23, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Nothing worse than turning up in the exact same outfit as someone else, is there.
Wonderful time in Norway. I thanked them for their annual Trafalgar Square Christmas tree (and said if it gets any smaller, perhaps I could pop it in my hand luggage and bang it up in Trafalgar Square myself).
November 22, 2025 at 6:48 PM
Wonderful time in Norway. I thanked them for their annual Trafalgar Square Christmas tree (and said if it gets any smaller, perhaps I could pop it in my hand luggage and bang it up in Trafalgar Square myself).
Didn’t expected to be greeted in the toilets at Norway’s Stavanger airport by my brunette doppelgänger accompanied by the sound of Rogaland birdsong. Can’t help thinking, as I fly back to the UK, that maybe I’m living the wrong life 🇳🇴 ❤️
November 22, 2025 at 12:29 PM
Didn’t expected to be greeted in the toilets at Norway’s Stavanger airport by my brunette doppelgänger accompanied by the sound of Rogaland birdsong. Can’t help thinking, as I fly back to the UK, that maybe I’m living the wrong life 🇳🇴 ❤️
London mornings and midlife women.
November 21, 2025 at 11:08 AM
London mornings and midlife women.
Jeff had the option of coming to work with me for a bit this afternoon. He stuck his nose into the cold air for three seconds and firmly declined. Still I got home to this.
November 20, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Jeff had the option of coming to work with me for a bit this afternoon. He stuck his nose into the cold air for three seconds and firmly declined. Still I got home to this.
Women over 50. It’s like we’ve always been around, being resilient and awesome.
November 19, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Women over 50. It’s like we’ve always been around, being resilient and awesome.
November 18, 2025 at 11:01 AM
On Jeremy Vine this morning, where we managed to (briefly) subvert the legal compliance taping of the swears on my book jacket. Like the Sex Pistols all over again.
November 18, 2025 at 9:18 AM
On Jeremy Vine this morning, where we managed to (briefly) subvert the legal compliance taping of the swears on my book jacket. Like the Sex Pistols all over again.
Whenever I see Jeff curled up in his nest with his pink corduroy unicorn I think we’ve got it all wrong and should all be him.
November 17, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Whenever I see Jeff curled up in his nest with his pink corduroy unicorn I think we’ve got it all wrong and should all be him.
FaceTimed the wonder girl - me in London, her in Madrid - and look! Both supporting the mother brand. Like time we were reading same book and compared on FaceTime where we were. Same chapter. Same page. Same paragraph. 👯♂️
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 PM
FaceTimed the wonder girl - me in London, her in Madrid - and look! Both supporting the mother brand. Like time we were reading same book and compared on FaceTime where we were. Same chapter. Same page. Same paragraph. 👯♂️
Today a friend of mine was round at my place having a cry. Jeff gave her each of his corduroy toys, laying them gently one after another at her feet. She was still crying. But he did a good job. Good dog, Jeff.
November 15, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Today a friend of mine was round at my place having a cry. Jeff gave her each of his corduroy toys, laying them gently one after another at her feet. She was still crying. But he did a good job. Good dog, Jeff.
This is what I came on stage to last night. Life’s alright sometimes, innit.
I’ll be back at in Tunbridge Wells with a second date in 2026: Sat 13th June, 7.30pm. Ticket link now live so grab ‘em while you can! Book signings after all shows ✍️
Tour tickets (all venues):
callybeaton.com/live/
I’ll be back at in Tunbridge Wells with a second date in 2026: Sat 13th June, 7.30pm. Ticket link now live so grab ‘em while you can! Book signings after all shows ✍️
Tour tickets (all venues):
callybeaton.com/live/
November 15, 2025 at 5:24 PM
This is what I came on stage to last night. Life’s alright sometimes, innit.
I’ll be back at in Tunbridge Wells with a second date in 2026: Sat 13th June, 7.30pm. Ticket link now live so grab ‘em while you can! Book signings after all shows ✍️
Tour tickets (all venues):
callybeaton.com/live/
I’ll be back at in Tunbridge Wells with a second date in 2026: Sat 13th June, 7.30pm. Ticket link now live so grab ‘em while you can! Book signings after all shows ✍️
Tour tickets (all venues):
callybeaton.com/live/
Man helping out in a woman’s world…
November 14, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Man helping out in a woman’s world…
And the award for best homecoming goes to…
November 12, 2025 at 11:17 PM
And the award for best homecoming goes to…
(Not so) little acts of microfeminism. Taking up space that is ours.
November 12, 2025 at 12:05 PM
(Not so) little acts of microfeminism. Taking up space that is ours.
My daughter and I have not lived in the same country for 7 years now. Every time we say goodbye, we each hide cards somewhere for the other to find. Just found today’s tucked into my laptop at the airport. It’s with the usual heavy heart I’m flying in wrong direction. Te amo, hija mía.
November 11, 2025 at 3:10 PM
My daughter and I have not lived in the same country for 7 years now. Every time we say goodbye, we each hide cards somewhere for the other to find. Just found today’s tucked into my laptop at the airport. It’s with the usual heavy heart I’m flying in wrong direction. Te amo, hija mía.
Hola! Over in Madrid to witness the launch TODAY of Spanish Namaste Motherf*ckers! Available now in all good book stores, online or go to callybeaton.com 🇪🇸 🧡🙏🏻
November 11, 2025 at 7:12 AM
Hola! Over in Madrid to witness the launch TODAY of Spanish Namaste Motherf*ckers! Available now in all good book stores, online or go to callybeaton.com 🇪🇸 🧡🙏🏻
Come on Luton - keep up!
All 2025 & 2026 tour tickets here; book signings after all shows:
callybeaton.com/live/
All 2025 & 2026 tour tickets here; book signings after all shows:
callybeaton.com/live/
November 10, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Come on Luton - keep up!
All 2025 & 2026 tour tickets here; book signings after all shows:
callybeaton.com/live/
All 2025 & 2026 tour tickets here; book signings after all shows:
callybeaton.com/live/
How is it our last day already? 👯♂️ ❤️
November 10, 2025 at 10:07 AM
How is it our last day already? 👯♂️ ❤️
Sleep’s been a bit disrupted this year - for many reasons, not all of them 56-yr-old-woman-related. Then over in Madrid for the weekend, sharing bedroom with my daughter, I sleep for 10 hours. And we wake and laugh and talk and knit. And I’ve got my baby girl back for a couple of days.
November 9, 2025 at 9:45 AM
Sleep’s been a bit disrupted this year - for many reasons, not all of them 56-yr-old-woman-related. Then over in Madrid for the weekend, sharing bedroom with my daughter, I sleep for 10 hours. And we wake and laugh and talk and knit. And I’ve got my baby girl back for a couple of days.
This is more like it. Madrid street crossings moving away from reference man imagery. Once the evolutionary timeline depicting primate to human includes woman, we’ll know we’re in business.
November 8, 2025 at 4:57 PM
This is more like it. Madrid street crossings moving away from reference man imagery. Once the evolutionary timeline depicting primate to human includes woman, we’ll know we’re in business.
Wasn’t expecting a full moon at Heathrow…
November 7, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Wasn’t expecting a full moon at Heathrow…
No one tells you how fragmented life becomes in empty nest. Off to Madrid to see my girl for the first time since the summer - leaving son in Devon, dog with friends and cat with another friend at home in London. I’d like to magic us all together just for a day. Guess that’s what Christmas is for.
November 7, 2025 at 5:25 PM
No one tells you how fragmented life becomes in empty nest. Off to Madrid to see my girl for the first time since the summer - leaving son in Devon, dog with friends and cat with another friend at home in London. I’d like to magic us all together just for a day. Guess that’s what Christmas is for.
VIP tour guest this week - Dad! Luckiest daughter in the world. And yes - he’s still 45 and I’m in my twenties 💚🩷🙏🏻
November 6, 2025 at 5:43 PM
VIP tour guest this week - Dad! Luckiest daughter in the world. And yes - he’s still 45 and I’m in my twenties 💚🩷🙏🏻
Something I thought was a mosquito landed on my pillow last night. I grabbed the first thing that came to hand - a book of Buddhist readings - and whacked it.
November 5, 2025 at 3:25 PM
Something I thought was a mosquito landed on my pillow last night. I grabbed the first thing that came to hand - a book of Buddhist readings - and whacked it.