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Cally Beaton

@callybeaton.bsky.social

9.2K followers 93 following 810 posts

⭐️ 2025/26 TOUR ⭐️ + BESTSELLING BOOK ‘Namaste Motherf*ckers’ OUT NOW! 🙏🏻 At 45, Joan Rivers told me to get into stand-up. So I did. She was 81 • Live at the Apollo • QI •

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · Jul 25

I’m getting so many lovely messages from fellow midlife women saying they forgot they’d pre-ordered it and have bought it again; some more than once. Wondering if anyone’s ever made it onto bestseller list on back of menopause/brain fog before? Happy to be the first:

callybeaton.com/shop/

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 4h

And just about worth missing Celebrity Traitors for.

Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 5h

Left to right: Edith Bowman, Will Arnett, Laura Dern, Andra Day & Bradley Cooper. Richard E Grant to my right, my bestie Charlotte to my left. Lovely night. Wonderful film. A lot of parallels.*

(*Mine has yet to be made into a Hollywood movie.)

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 15h

Cannes and the 5-star life for 36 hours is all well and good, but it’s no Jeff.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 1d

Writing a feminist manifesto? Don’t forget to get a man to help.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 1d

Unlike the Dutch version, my understanding of what the hell is happening here is limited. All I know is that the Spanish version of my book is out next month and available for pre-order NOW! And that I will be in Madrid for launch day. Olé!

callybeaton.com/shop/

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 2d

This is the world I gave up to join the circus, and today for one day only I was back in it. Thanks for having me back, beautiful Cannes. Feels like sleeping with an ex from a long time ago; I don’t think we should get back together but it’s been wonderful.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 2d

Bonjour, Cannes.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 3d

Thank you 🙏🏻

Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 3d

Never too sleepy for a wiggle waggle.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 3d

Thanks so much for coming! 🙏🏻

Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 4d

Even with all the money in the world, wonder how often it happens the other way around.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 4d

I loved Matthew McConaughey’s Greenlights. Just one thing… the bit where he journeyed solo to find himself & write the book; 2 weeks here, 2 weeks there, 2 weeks everywhere. He had 3 school-age kids at the time. Wonder how many mums could have done that. Took me 6 yrs to get to the toilet on my own.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 5d

And every day is the FIRST DAY EVER

Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 5d

I have a cat too 🥰

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 5d

Just don’t bank on scrimping on the training! Then they’re grand 👌🏻

Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 5d

I’d never lived on my own until my fifties. And this is what I come home to, every time I walk through the door…

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 6d

Underestimate the person with the microphone at your peril (+ a cameo appearance from my baby lion) 🦁

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 7d

Just another woman, getting mistaken for the things I am not.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 8d

Like father, like daughter. I hope.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 9d

Reunited with my pup! Camouflage be damned, I see him. And I love him.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 9d

They did! x

Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 10d

Thank you Kendal, Nottingham and Southport.

(I fell more than a little bit in love with Southport ❤️)

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 11d

Happy International Zookeeper Day to my favourite zookeeper. The world’s a better place for having you in it, my son.

PS If paracetamol gives you a kid like mine, I’d say take some. Only…IT DOESN’T.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 11d

Glorious Nottingham Arts Theatre last night. My highlights from book signing dedications afterwards: a brain tumour survivor, a woman who danced there as a little girl when it was the Co-operative Art Theatre & came back last night as a 52-year-old & a woman just diagnosed with cervical cancer. 💚🩷🙏🏻

Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 12d

2026 DATES (tickets at callybeaton.com):
BELFAST, BRISTOL, GUILDFORD, FARSLEY, BARTON/HUMBER, NEWCASTLE, ALNWICK, HEXHAM, COVENTRY, HENLEY, TORRINGTON, FALMOUTH, CARDIFF, BRIDGWATER, BRIDPORT, EXETER, HAVANT, BATH, GLASGOW, EDINBURGH, ABERDEEN, INVERNESS, SHEFFIELD, COLCHESTER, BRIGHTON, NORWICH

Cally Beaton: Stand up comedian, Speaker, Podcaster, Broadcaster, Writer

Official website of stand up comedian, speaker and podcaster Cally Beaton: News, Live dates, Podcast, Gallery, Corporate, Awards, Comedian, Speaker and Host for hire.

callybeaton.com