Cally Beaton
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callybeaton.bsky.social
Cally Beaton
@callybeaton.bsky.social
⭐️ 2025/26 TOUR ⭐️ + BESTSELLING BOOK ‘Namaste Motherf*ckers’ OUT NOW! 🙏🏻 At 45, Joan Rivers told me to get into stand-up. So I did. She was 81 • Live at the Apollo • QI •
Pinned
I’m getting so many lovely messages from fellow midlife women saying they forgot they’d pre-ordered it and have bought it again; some more than once. Wondering if anyone’s ever made it onto bestseller list on back of menopause/brain fog before? Happy to be the first:

callybeaton.com/shop/
TONIGHT!

Very last London tour tickets right here:

callybeaton.com/live/
November 30, 2025 at 10:04 AM
Why is it that men who hate women, say that women who stand up to men who hate women, hate men?
November 29, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Had good time on ITV London talking about midlife transition into comedy and upcoming ONE & ONLY London tour date! Leicester Square Theatre Sunday 30th November 7pm - handful of tickets left so grab ‘em while you can! Will be saying hello/signing books afterwards ✍️

callybeaton.com/live/
November 28, 2025 at 1:56 PM
I wonder if them getting off-lead on a walk is like us taking our bra off after a long day.
November 27, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Someone told one of my kids: ‘Your mum looks great for her age’. They replied: ‘Or even… my mum just looks great’. The world needs many baby humans like this.
November 26, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Just one London tour date and it’s this coming Sunday - 30th November! Almost sold out so if you fancy it, get a wiggle on and grab one of last tickets. Really proud of this show and excited to be performing it in my home town:

www.leicestersquaretheatre.com/show/cally-b...
November 25, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Had the best time behind the scenes at The Big Cat Sanctuary with Cam Whitnall today. If you’re not aware of their work, or of Cam’s remarkable rescue of lions from war-torn Ukraine, click on this:

thebigcatsanctuary.org/news/yuna-ta...
November 24, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Nothing worse than turning up in the exact same outfit as someone else, is there.
November 23, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Wonderful time in Norway. I thanked them for their annual Trafalgar Square Christmas tree (and said if it gets any smaller, perhaps I could pop it in my hand luggage and bang it up in Trafalgar Square myself).
November 22, 2025 at 6:48 PM
Didn’t expected to be greeted in the toilets at Norway’s Stavanger airport by my brunette doppelgänger accompanied by the sound of Rogaland birdsong. Can’t help thinking, as I fly back to the UK, that maybe I’m living the wrong life 🇳🇴 ❤️
November 22, 2025 at 12:29 PM
London mornings and midlife women.
November 21, 2025 at 11:08 AM
Jeff had the option of coming to work with me for a bit this afternoon. He stuck his nose into the cold air for three seconds and firmly declined. Still I got home to this.
November 20, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Women over 50. It’s like we’ve always been around, being resilient and awesome.
November 19, 2025 at 5:39 PM
My book is better than my camera work…

callybeaton.com/live/
November 18, 2025 at 11:01 AM
On Jeremy Vine this morning, where we managed to (briefly) subvert the legal compliance taping of the swears on my book jacket. Like the Sex Pistols all over again.
November 18, 2025 at 9:18 AM
Whenever I see Jeff curled up in his nest with his pink corduroy unicorn I think we’ve got it all wrong and should all be him.
November 17, 2025 at 6:08 PM
FaceTimed the wonder girl - me in London, her in Madrid - and look! Both supporting the mother brand. Like time we were reading same book and compared on FaceTime where we were. Same chapter. Same page. Same paragraph. 👯‍♂️
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Today a friend of mine was round at my place having a cry. Jeff gave her each of his corduroy toys, laying them gently one after another at her feet. She was still crying. But he did a good job. Good dog, Jeff.
November 15, 2025 at 9:21 PM
This is what I came on stage to last night. Life’s alright sometimes, innit.

I’ll be back at in Tunbridge Wells with a second date in 2026: Sat 13th June, 7.30pm. Ticket link now live so grab ‘em while you can! Book signings after all shows ✍️

Tour tickets (all venues):
callybeaton.com/live/
November 15, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Man helping out in a woman’s world…
November 14, 2025 at 4:16 PM
And the award for best homecoming goes to…
November 12, 2025 at 11:17 PM
(Not so) little acts of microfeminism. Taking up space that is ours.
November 12, 2025 at 12:05 PM
My daughter and I have not lived in the same country for 7 years now. Every time we say goodbye, we each hide cards somewhere for the other to find. Just found today’s tucked into my laptop at the airport. It’s with the usual heavy heart I’m flying in wrong direction. Te amo, hija mía.
November 11, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Hola! Over in Madrid to witness the launch TODAY of Spanish Namaste Motherf*ckers! Available now in all good book stores, online or go to callybeaton.com 🇪🇸 🧡🙏🏻
November 11, 2025 at 7:12 AM
Come on Luton - keep up!

All 2025 & 2026 tour tickets here; book signings after all shows:

callybeaton.com/live/
November 10, 2025 at 6:17 PM