World’s fastest bongo player ™
@bumchampion.bsky.social
Built like a shit brick house
The irony that you can’t get your patriot jeans because your president has highlighted how dependent on foreign labour and materials your nazi jeans company is.
August 27, 2025 at 10:50 AM
The irony that you can’t get your patriot jeans because your president has highlighted how dependent on foreign labour and materials your nazi jeans company is.
Reposted by World’s fastest bongo player ™
want a treat but i already had my treats today
August 20, 2025 at 2:55 PM
want a treat but i already had my treats today
When loads of people get off a bus, does the bus feel like it’s taking a huge shit?
June 5, 2025 at 12:18 AM
When loads of people get off a bus, does the bus feel like it’s taking a huge shit?
A bus at the stop is worth two on the timetable
June 4, 2025 at 10:52 PM
A bus at the stop is worth two on the timetable
That'll show em 😎
Some are doing protest runs against the Trump White House
June 4, 2025 at 2:41 PM
That'll show em 😎
I challenge anyone to have as good a trip as this
On a mad trip to NA with @bumchampion.bsky.social - day #1 in Toronto:
Toronto Aquarium
A matinee performance from a country band whilst we shot pool at the Rivoli
The worst improv comedy night ever conceived / delivered
Freeplay Pinball Arcade
Toronto Aquarium
A matinee performance from a country band whilst we shot pool at the Rivoli
The worst improv comedy night ever conceived / delivered
Freeplay Pinball Arcade
June 1, 2025 at 1:40 PM
I challenge anyone to have as good a trip as this
Needs to be a video Shazam for TikToks you’ve seen over peoples shoulders.
March 4, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Needs to be a video Shazam for TikToks you’ve seen over peoples shoulders.
If Aaron Taylor-Johnson married Anya Taylor-Joy she could become Anya Taylor-Joy-Taylor-Johnson, which I think would be fun for everyone.
February 28, 2025 at 11:31 PM
If Aaron Taylor-Johnson married Anya Taylor-Joy she could become Anya Taylor-Joy-Taylor-Johnson, which I think would be fun for everyone.
The big tree wants to make sure none of its nutrients are put back into the ecosystem when it eventually falls.
“When I die, wrap me in plastic and shoot me into space”
“When I die, wrap me in plastic and shoot me into space”
I bet it saps your energy, furiously guarding something you don't need.
February 14, 2025 at 7:01 PM
The big tree wants to make sure none of its nutrients are put back into the ecosystem when it eventually falls.
“When I die, wrap me in plastic and shoot me into space”
“When I die, wrap me in plastic and shoot me into space”
This woman on the bus has one of the most beautiful coughs I’ve ever heard
February 13, 2025 at 5:10 PM
This woman on the bus has one of the most beautiful coughs I’ve ever heard
New ad slogan idea to promote buses: Get on the bus and have the loudest phone call of your life!
February 13, 2025 at 2:13 PM
New ad slogan idea to promote buses: Get on the bus and have the loudest phone call of your life!
Hey Silicon Valley. Middle class people have enough stuff, enough apps, enough going on. Maybe switch to helping the genuinely disadvantaged for a bit.
February 12, 2025 at 12:58 PM
Hey Silicon Valley. Middle class people have enough stuff, enough apps, enough going on. Maybe switch to helping the genuinely disadvantaged for a bit.
Simpsons trivia!
Q: which character shits themselves in nearly every episode of the simposns?
A: Maggie
Q: which character shits themselves in nearly every episode of the simposns?
A: Maggie
February 8, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Simpsons trivia!
Q: which character shits themselves in nearly every episode of the simposns?
A: Maggie
Q: which character shits themselves in nearly every episode of the simposns?
A: Maggie
Watching an episode of modern Simpsons (sorry!) and it’s just Skinner and Chalmers on a road trip, and this should have been the whole Simpsons movie.
February 7, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Watching an episode of modern Simpsons (sorry!) and it’s just Skinner and Chalmers on a road trip, and this should have been the whole Simpsons movie.
50s inventor: it’s a little machine that plugs into the wall and makes your life easier! It looks nice too!
Modern inventor: it’s a subscription that allows your bank to put cameras in your toilet bowl. It requires 2 apps and you get a 5% discount for introducing 100 friends.
Modern inventor: it’s a subscription that allows your bank to put cameras in your toilet bowl. It requires 2 apps and you get a 5% discount for introducing 100 friends.
February 7, 2025 at 1:14 PM
50s inventor: it’s a little machine that plugs into the wall and makes your life easier! It looks nice too!
Modern inventor: it’s a subscription that allows your bank to put cameras in your toilet bowl. It requires 2 apps and you get a 5% discount for introducing 100 friends.
Modern inventor: it’s a subscription that allows your bank to put cameras in your toilet bowl. It requires 2 apps and you get a 5% discount for introducing 100 friends.
Reposted by World’s fastest bongo player ™
Hey man sorry to hear about all your political turmoil. Would it help if I scrolled around on the computer all day and drove myself insane?
February 6, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Hey man sorry to hear about all your political turmoil. Would it help if I scrolled around on the computer all day and drove myself insane?
Reposted by World’s fastest bongo player ™
(Extremely consumer voice) My parcels
February 5, 2025 at 4:01 AM
(Extremely consumer voice) My parcels
Just saw this cover image for a new show on Disney plus and I’m just looking at the set up here thinking “OH BOY” cos you can tell it AINT gonna be smooth sailing 🤣🤣🤣
February 4, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Just saw this cover image for a new show on Disney plus and I’m just looking at the set up here thinking “OH BOY” cos you can tell it AINT gonna be smooth sailing 🤣🤣🤣
I suppose, rather than coming to terms with the stooginess of it all, the ineffable density of the system which seems to move regardless of public sentiment and in defiance of science or common sense, it’s better to go on a panel show and make a cutting remark once a month.
'Young people not engaging with politics is an existential problem, maybe if I insult them all they'll start'
February 3, 2025 at 9:42 AM
I suppose, rather than coming to terms with the stooginess of it all, the ineffable density of the system which seems to move regardless of public sentiment and in defiance of science or common sense, it’s better to go on a panel show and make a cutting remark once a month.
Reposted by World’s fastest bongo player ™
Reposted by World’s fastest bongo player ™
i shouldn't have spent so much time on this, but i was inspired
September 28, 2024 at 8:20 PM
i shouldn't have spent so much time on this, but i was inspired
Reposted by World’s fastest bongo player ™
I paid sixty dollars for No Man's Sky nine years ago and they refuse to stop making the video game. I've begged them to go home to their families but they won't stop adding new kinds of weird little guys and like, optimizing the gentle patter of rain on an alien ocean. Please let me pay for a DLC
January 29, 2025 at 4:56 PM
I paid sixty dollars for No Man's Sky nine years ago and they refuse to stop making the video game. I've begged them to go home to their families but they won't stop adding new kinds of weird little guys and like, optimizing the gentle patter of rain on an alien ocean. Please let me pay for a DLC
When someone’s tickling me
January 28, 2025 at 10:56 AM
When someone’s tickling me